Summary
Nicholas finally faces the music about his massive gambling debt—43,000 rubles that could bankrupt his family. After enjoying Natasha's singing, he steels himself to tell his father, who's just returned from his club in high spirits. The conversation is excruciating: Nicholas tries to sound casual about needing money, his father asks how much, and Nicholas drops the bomb. His father's face turns red with shock, but instead of exploding, the old count quietly accepts that 'it happens to everyone.' Nicholas had prepared for anger but gets understanding instead, which somehow makes his shame worse. He breaks down, calling after his father and begging forgiveness. Meanwhile, Natasha faces her own difficult conversation—Denisov has proposed to her. She's not in love with him but feels terrible about hurting someone so kind. Her mother initially thinks it's a joke, then gets annoyed that anyone would treat young Natasha as marriage material. Natasha insists on handling the rejection herself, telling Denisov she'll always love him as a friend. The scene becomes awkward when the countess intervenes, formally declining on grounds that Denisov should have asked permission first. Denisov leaves Moscow the next day, and Nicholas spends two more weeks hiding at home, waiting for his father to scrape together the money and feeling unworthy of Sonya's continued devotion.
Coming Up in Chapter 85
The story shifts to a new phase as we enter 1806-07, with Napoleon's influence spreading across Europe and the Russian nobility about to face even greater challenges than gambling debts and awkward proposals.
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An excerpt from the original text.(~500 words)
T was long since Rostóv had felt such enjoyment from music as he did that day. But no sooner had Natásha finished her barcarolle than reality again presented itself. He got up without saying a word and went downstairs to his own room. A quarter of an hour later the old count came in from his club, cheerful and contented. Nicholas, hearing him drive up, went to meet him. “Well—had a good time?” said the old count, smiling gaily and proudly at his son. Nicholas tried to say “Yes,” but could not: and he nearly burst into sobs. The count was lighting his pipe and did not notice his son’s condition. “Ah, it can’t be avoided!” thought Nicholas, for the first and last time. And suddenly, in the most casual tone, which made him feel ashamed of himself, he said, as if merely asking his father to let him have the carriage to drive to town: “Papa, I have come on a matter of business. I was nearly forgetting. I need some money.” “Dear me!” said his father, who was in a specially good humor. “I told you it would not be enough. How much?” “Very much,” said Nicholas flushing, and with a stupid careless smile, for which he was long unable to forgive himself, “I have lost a little, I mean a good deal, a great deal—forty three thousand.” “What! To whom?... Nonsense!” cried the count, suddenly reddening with an apoplectic flush over neck and nape as old people do. “I promised to pay tomorrow,” said Nicholas. “Well!...” said the old count, spreading out his arms and sinking helplessly on the sofa. “It can’t be helped! It happens to everyone!” said the son, with a bold, free, and easy tone, while in his soul he regarded himself as a worthless scoundrel whose whole life could not atone for his crime. He longed to kiss his father’s hands and kneel to beg his forgiveness, but said, in a careless and even rude voice, that it happens to everyone! The old count cast down his eyes on hearing his son’s words and began bustlingly searching for something. “Yes, yes,” he muttered, “it will be difficult, I fear, difficult to raise... happens to everybody! Yes, who has not done it?” And with a furtive glance at his son’s face, the count went out of the room.... Nicholas had been prepared for resistance, but had not at all expected this. “Papa! Pa-pa!” he called after him, sobbing, “forgive me!” And seizing his father’s hand, he pressed it to his lips and burst into tears. While father and son were having their explanation, the mother and daughter were having one not less important. Natásha came running to her mother, quite excited. “Mamma!... Mamma!... He has made me...” “Made what?” “Made, made me an offer, Mamma! Mamma!” she exclaimed. The countess did not believe her ears. Denísov had proposed. To whom? To this chit of a girl, Natásha, who not so long ago was playing...
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Intelligence Amplifier™ Analysis
The Shame Spiral - When Kindness Cuts Deeper Than Anger
When unexpected kindness or understanding forces us to confront our behavior more painfully than punishment would.
Why This Matters
Connect literature to life
This chapter teaches how to recognize when kindness becomes its own form of psychological pressure and why mercy sometimes hurts more than punishment.
Practice This Today
Next time someone responds to your mistake with unexpected understanding instead of anger, notice how it makes you feel—and use that discomfort as motivation for real change, not just damage control.
Now let's explore the literary elements.
Terms to Know
Barcarolle
A type of folk song traditionally sung by Venetian gondoliers, usually with a gentle, rocking rhythm that mimics the movement of boats on water. In aristocratic homes, these songs were often performed as entertainment.
Modern Usage:
We still use music to escape reality or create mood - like putting on jazz to feel sophisticated or acoustic guitar to wind down.
Honor debt
In aristocratic society, gambling debts were considered debts of honor that absolutely had to be paid, even if it meant financial ruin. Not paying meant social death and being branded a cheat.
Modern Usage:
Similar to how some people will max out credit cards to maintain appearances or pay for their kids' college even when they can't afford it.
Apoplectic flush
A sudden reddening of the face and neck from extreme anger or shock, named after apoplexy (stroke). The physical reaction shows the body's response to overwhelming emotion.
Modern Usage:
When someone gets so angry or shocked their face turns red - like a parent finding out their teen crashed the car.
Formal courtship proposal
In aristocratic society, marriage proposals required asking the father's permission first, not the woman's. The family's approval mattered more than the individual's feelings.
Modern Usage:
Some people still ask parents for permission before proposing, though now it's usually a courtesy rather than a requirement.
Social shame
The deep humiliation that comes from failing to meet society's expectations, especially around money, honor, or family duty. In Tolstoy's world, shame could destroy reputations permanently.
Modern Usage:
Like the shame people feel when they have to ask family for money, declare bankruptcy, or admit they can't afford something everyone expects them to have.
Enablement through kindness
When someone's gentle, understanding response to bad behavior actually makes the guilty person feel worse than anger would have. The kindness highlights how undeserved it is.
Modern Usage:
When your boss is understanding about your mistake instead of yelling, somehow making you feel even more guilty about letting them down.
Characters in This Chapter
Nicholas Rostov
Guilt-ridden son
Finally confesses his massive gambling debt to his father, trying to sound casual but clearly terrified. His shame deepens when his father responds with understanding instead of anger.
Modern Equivalent:
The adult child who has to tell their parents they need money to cover their mistakes
Count Rostov (the father)
Understanding patriarch
Comes home happy from his club only to learn his son has potentially bankrupted the family. Instead of exploding, he quietly accepts it as something that 'happens to everyone.'
Modern Equivalent:
The parent who stays calm during family crises even when they're panicking inside
Natasha Rostova
Reluctant heartbreaker
Must reject Denisov's marriage proposal despite caring for him as a friend. She handles the awkward situation with more grace than the adults around her.
Modern Equivalent:
The young woman who has to let down a nice guy she's not romantically interested in
Denisov
Hopeful suitor
Proposes to Natasha despite knowing she's young and probably not ready. Takes the rejection with dignity and leaves Moscow to avoid further awkwardness.
Modern Equivalent:
The friend who shoots their shot romantically and handles rejection maturely
The Countess (mother)
Protective mother
Initially thinks Denisov's proposal is a joke, then gets offended that anyone would approach her young daughter about marriage. Takes over the rejection to protect Natasha.
Modern Equivalent:
The mom who thinks her teenager is too young for serious relationships
Key Quotes & Analysis
"Papa, I have come on a matter of business. I was nearly forgetting. I need some money."
Context: Nicholas tries to sound casual while confessing his gambling debt
The forced casualness reveals how terrified Nicholas is. He's trying to minimize something catastrophic, which makes it sound even worse. The phrase 'nearly forgetting' about a debt that could ruin his family shows how shame distorts our thinking.
In Today's Words:
Hey Dad, by the way, I need to borrow some cash - no big deal.
"Very much... I have lost a little, I mean a good deal, a great deal—forty three thousand."
Context: Nicholas finally reveals the amount he owes
His stammering progression from 'a little' to 'forty three thousand' shows him unable to lie anymore. The verbal fumbling captures exactly how people confess terrible news - starting small and building up courage.
In Today's Words:
Well, it's not that bad... actually it's pretty bad... okay it's really, really bad.
"Ah, it can't be avoided!"
Context: Nicholas steels himself before confessing
This moment of resignation shows Nicholas finally accepting he has to face consequences. It's both mature acceptance and desperate rationalization - he's telling himself he has no choice to make the conversation easier.
In Today's Words:
Well, here goes nothing - I have to do this.
"It happens to everyone."
Context: The father's response to learning about the debt
The count's quiet acceptance is more devastating than anger would be. By normalizing Nicholas's failure, he shows both unconditional love and deep disappointment. This response makes Nicholas feel worse, not better.
In Today's Words:
These things happen, son.
Thematic Threads
Shame
In This Chapter
Nicholas's shame deepens when met with understanding rather than anger, while Natasha feels terrible about rejecting kind Denisov
Development
Evolving from earlier pride and bravado to genuine self-awareness and moral discomfort
In Your Life:
You might feel this when someone responds to your mistake with patience instead of the anger you expected and prepared for.
Family Loyalty
In This Chapter
The count quietly accepts financial ruin to protect his son, while the family rallies around both Nicholas's debt and Natasha's romantic troubles
Development
Deepening from surface social bonds to real sacrifice and understanding
In Your Life:
You see this when family members absorb your problems without complaint, making you feel both grateful and guilty.
Coming of Age
In This Chapter
Both Nicholas and Natasha face adult consequences—financial responsibility and marriage proposals—that force them beyond childhood
Development
Accelerating from social games to real stakes with lasting impact
In Your Life:
You experience this when your choices start affecting other people in ways you can't take back.
Social Expectations
In This Chapter
Denisov follows proper courtship protocol while the countess enforces rules about permission and age-appropriate suitors
Development
Continuing tension between personal desires and social forms
In Your Life:
You encounter this when trying to balance what you want with what others expect from your relationships or career choices.
Unspoken Communication
In This Chapter
Nicholas and his father communicate volumes through silences and facial expressions, while Natasha must navigate rejecting Denisov gently
Development
Growing sophistication in reading between the lines of family dynamics
In Your Life:
You use this when the most important conversations happen through what isn't said rather than what is.
You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.
Discussion Questions
- 1
Why does Nicholas feel worse when his father responds with understanding instead of anger about the gambling debt?
analysis • surface - 2
What does the father's quiet acceptance of 'it happens to everyone' reveal about how he's handling his own disappointment?
analysis • medium - 3
Think about times when someone's kindness after your mistake felt worse than punishment would have. Why does understanding sometimes hurt more than anger?
application • medium - 4
How do you think Nicholas should handle the two weeks of waiting at home? What would help him move from shame to actual change?
application • deep - 5
What does this chapter suggest about the relationship between guilt, shame, and personal growth?
reflection • deep
Critical Thinking Exercise
Map Your Recognition Trap
Think of a time when you expected someone to be angry with you, but they responded with understanding or kindness instead. Write down what you expected to happen, what actually happened, and how their grace made you feel. Then identify what their response revealed about your impact on them that anger might have hidden.
Consider:
- •Notice whether their kindness made you want to change more or less than punishment would have
- •Consider what their understanding cost them emotionally
- •Think about how you can honor their grace through your future actions
Journaling Prompt
Write about how you want to respond when someone shows you unexpected mercy. What would it look like to let their kindness motivate real change rather than just deeper shame?
Coming Up Next...
Chapter 85: The Stripped Screw of Existence
In the next chapter, you'll discover existential crises can paralyze us from living in the present moment, and learn wealth and comfort don't protect us from life's fundamental questions. These insights reveal timeless patterns that resonate in our own lives and relationships.