Summary
This brief chapter presents twenty-nine love sonnets written by Montaigne's beloved friend Étienne de La Boétie, who died young. Montaigne includes these poems not because they're masterpieces, but because they're all he has left of his friend's voice. The sonnets themselves are rough, filled with the jealous complaints and desperate fears that come with passionate love. They reveal La Boétie as a young man consumed by romantic obsession, writing clumsy verses about suspicion and heartbreak. Montaigne acknowledges their literary flaws but publishes them anyway, dedicating them to Madame de Grammont. This gesture reveals something profound about friendship and loss: we don't always honor our dead friends by presenting their best selves, but by preserving their whole, complicated humanity. The chapter shows how grief makes us curators of memory, choosing what pieces of a person to keep alive. Montaigne's decision to include these imperfect poems alongside his sophisticated essays demonstrates that love transcends artistic judgment. Sometimes the most meaningful artifacts aren't the most polished ones, but the ones that capture a person's raw emotional truth. The sonnets serve as a window into the passionate, flawed young man who became Montaigne's intellectual equal and closest companion, reminding us that even our most admired friends once wrote terrible love poetry.
Coming Up in Chapter 29
From the passionate extremes of his friend's love poetry, Montaigne turns to examine one of life's most challenging virtues: moderation. He explores why finding the middle path is both essential and nearly impossible.
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An excerpt from the original text.(complete · 132 words)
NINE AND TWENTY SONNETS OF ESTIENNE DE LA BOITIE TO MADAME DE GRAMMONT, COMTESSE DE GUISSEN. [They scarce contain anything but amorous complaints, expressed in a very rough style, discovering the follies and outrages of a restless passion, overgorged, as it were, with jealousies, fears and suspicions.--Coste.] [These....contained in the edition of 1588 nine-and-twenty sonnets of La Boetie, accompanied by a dedicatory epistle to Madame de Grammont. The former, which are referred to at the end of Chap. XXVIL, do not really belong to the book, and are of very slight interest at this time; the epistle is transferred to the Correspondence. The sonnets, with the letter, were presumably sent some time after Letters V. et seq. Montaigne seems to have had several copies written out to forward to friends or acquaintances.]
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Intelligence Amplifier™ Analysis
The Road of Imperfect Preservation
The decision between preserving someone's perfect image versus their complete, flawed humanity.
Why This Matters
Connect literature to life
This chapter teaches how to preserve someone's full humanity rather than creating a sanitized version that never existed.
Practice This Today
This week, notice when you're tempted to 'speak only good' of someone who's gone—instead, include one human detail that made them real, not perfect.
Now let's explore the literary elements.
Terms to Know
Sonnet
A 14-line poem with a specific rhyme scheme, traditionally used for love poetry. In the 16th century, writing sonnets was how educated men expressed romantic feelings, even if they weren't particularly good at it.
Modern Usage:
Like posting song lyrics on social media or writing heartfelt but awkward text messages when you're in love.
Literary executor
Someone who decides what to do with a writer's unpublished work after they die. Montaigne became responsible for his friend's poems and chose to publish them despite their flaws.
Modern Usage:
Like being the person who has to decide whether to post your friend's old Facebook drafts or delete their embarrassing photos after they pass away.
Posthumous publication
Publishing someone's writing after they've died. Often these works weren't meant for public eyes, but friends or family release them anyway to preserve the person's memory.
Modern Usage:
Similar to when celebrities' families release unreleased songs or when someone publishes a loved one's private journals as a memoir.
Courtly love tradition
A medieval and Renaissance style of writing about love that emphasized suffering, jealousy, and devotion to an idealized woman. It was often dramatic and over-the-top by today's standards.
Modern Usage:
Like the overly dramatic love songs or romantic movies where someone pines away dramatically instead of just having a normal conversation.
Dedication
A formal inscription at the beginning of a book honoring someone specific. Montaigne dedicated La Boétie's sonnets to a noblewoman, which was both a social courtesy and a way to gain protection.
Modern Usage:
Like acknowledging someone special in your Instagram post or dedicating your graduation speech to someone who helped you.
Rough style
Writing that's clumsy, unpolished, or technically flawed. Montaigne admits his friend's poetry isn't sophisticated, but he values it for personal rather than artistic reasons.
Modern Usage:
Like keeping your kid's crayon drawings on the fridge even though they're not museum-quality art.
Characters in This Chapter
Étienne de La Boétie
Deceased friend and poet
Montaigne's closest friend who died young, leaving behind these love sonnets. Though the poems are admittedly rough and amateurish, Montaigne publishes them as a way to preserve his friend's memory and voice.
Modern Equivalent:
The friend whose old texts and voicemails you can't delete because they're all you have left of them.
Montaigne
Editor and curator of memory
Acts as literary executor for his dead friend's work, choosing to publish imperfect sonnets because they represent authentic pieces of La Boétie's emotional life. Shows how love transcends artistic judgment.
Modern Equivalent:
The friend who posts your old photos and stories on your birthday even if you looked awkward, because they capture who you really were.
Madame de Grammont
Dedicatee
The noblewoman to whom Montaigne dedicates La Boétie's sonnets. She represents the social world that required formal courtesies and provided protection for published works.
Modern Equivalent:
The influential person you tag or acknowledge when sharing something important to give it credibility and reach.
Key Quotes & Analysis
"They scarce contain anything but amorous complaints, expressed in a very rough style, discovering the follies and outrages of a restless passion."
Context: Montaigne's honest assessment of his friend's love poetry quality
Montaigne doesn't pretend his friend was a great poet. He acknowledges the sonnets are clumsy and full of jealous complaints, but he's publishing them anyway because they're authentic pieces of someone he loved.
In Today's Words:
These are basically just jealous rants about love written in pretty bad poetry, but they're real and they're his.
"Overgorged, as it were, with jealousies, fears and suspicions."
Context: Describing the emotional content of La Boétie's sonnets
This phrase captures how young love can consume someone completely, making them write dramatic, paranoid poetry. Montaigne recognizes this as a universal human experience worth preserving.
In Today's Words:
He was completely eaten up by jealousy and anxiety about his relationship.
Thematic Threads
Friendship
In This Chapter
Montaigne honors his dead friend by preserving his imperfect poetry alongside his philosophy
Development
Deepens from earlier discussions of La Boétie to show how love transcends artistic judgment
In Your Life:
You might struggle with how much of a deceased friend's flaws to acknowledge when others want only praise.
Identity
In This Chapter
The sonnets reveal La Boétie as a passionate, flawed young man before he became Montaigne's intellectual equal
Development
Continues theme of multiple selves existing within one person
In Your Life:
You contain versions of yourself from different times that don't match your current identity.
Class
In This Chapter
Montaigne dedicates rough poems to aristocratic Madame de Grammont, mixing high and low culture
Development
Reinforces pattern of Montaigne crossing social boundaries through literature
In Your Life:
You might feel pressure to only share your 'best' work or thoughts with people you consider above your station.
Human Relationships
In This Chapter
Love makes us curators of memory, choosing what pieces of people to preserve
Development
Expands from personal relationships to how we honor the dead
In Your Life:
You face choices about which stories to tell and which memories to keep alive when someone important dies.
Personal Growth
In This Chapter
The chapter shows how we can honor people by preserving their growth journey, not just their destination
Development
Builds on earlier themes about accepting human imperfection
In Your Life:
You might judge your past self harshly instead of seeing earlier versions as part of your complete story.
You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.
Discussion Questions
- 1
Why does Montaigne publish his friend's bad love poems instead of just remembering the good stuff about him?
analysis • surface - 2
What's the difference between preserving someone's 'best self' versus their 'whole self' when they die?
analysis • medium - 3
Think about social media posts after someone dies - do people usually share the perfect version or the real version of the person?
application • medium - 4
If you had to give a eulogy for someone close to you, would you include their annoying habits or embarrassing moments? Why or why not?
application • deep - 5
What does it say about friendship that Montaigne chose to preserve his friend's flaws alongside his brilliance?
reflection • deep
Critical Thinking Exercise
Create a Real Person Memorial
Think of someone you've lost or someone important to you. Write two versions of how you'd remember them: first, a 'perfect' version that only mentions their best qualities and achievements. Then write a 'real' version that includes their quirks, flaws, and human contradictions alongside their good qualities. Notice which version feels more like the actual person you knew.
Consider:
- •Which version would help someone who never met them understand who they really were?
- •Which version honors their memory in a way that feels authentic to your relationship?
- •How does including imperfections actually make someone more memorable and loveable?
Journaling Prompt
Write about a time when someone shared an imperfect but real memory of a person you both knew. How did that flawed detail make you feel closer to that person's memory rather than further away?
Coming Up Next...
Chapter 29: The Dangerous Art of Going Too Far
Moving forward, we'll examine even good things become harmful when taken to extremes, and understand moderation requires more wisdom than passion. These insights bridge the gap between classic literature and modern experience.