Summary
The morning after his emotional confession, Bazarov apologizes to Anna but announces he's leaving immediately. His pride won't let him stay after being rejected, even though Anna seems more confused than angry. The evening becomes painfully tense until an unexpected visitor - the ridiculous Sitnikov - arrives uninvited and accidentally breaks the spell of discomfort. Sometimes the most annoying people serve a purpose by making everyone else's problems seem smaller. Arkady decides to leave too, partly out of loyalty to Bazarov but also because he's caught between his feelings for Anna and his growing attachment to her sister Katia. The chapter reveals how both young men are running from emotional complexity they're not ready to handle. Bazarov's cynical philosophizing about women masks his wounded pride, while Arkady is beginning to understand that his friend's arrogance might be a defense mechanism. Their departure feels like retreat rather than choice - both are fleeing situations that demand more emotional maturity than they currently possess. The chapter shows how pride can sabotage genuine connection and how we sometimes need buffoons like Sitnikov to remind us that our dramatic problems aren't the center of the universe.
Coming Up in Chapter 20
Bazarov returns to his childhood home, where his aging parents wait with the kind of overwhelming love that makes grown children squirm. The reunion will test whether his nihilistic philosophy can withstand the simple, uncomplicated devotion of family.
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An excerpt from the original text.(~500 words)
N spite of her self-command, in spite of her superiority to convention, Madame Odintsov could not but feel a little uncomfortable when she entered the dining-room for the evening meal. Nevertheless the meal passed off without incident, and after it Porphyri Platonitch came in, and related various anecdotes on the strength of a recent visit to the neighbouring town--among other things, a story to the effect that Governor "Bardeloue" had commanded his whole staff of officials to wear spurs, in order that, if need be, he could dispatch them on their errands on horseback! Meanwhile, Arkady talked in an undertone to Katia, and also paid diplomatic attention to the Princess; while Bazarov maintained such an obstinate, gloomy silence that Madame, glancing at him (as she did twice, and openly, not covertly), thought to herself, as she scanned his stern, forbidding face, downcast eyes, and all-pervading expression of rigid contempt: "No, no! Again, no!" Dinner over, she conducted her guests into the garden, and, perceiving that Bazarov desired a word with her, walked aside a little, halted, and waited for him. Approaching with his eyes on the ground, he said in a dull way: "I must beg your pardon, Anna Sergievna. Surely you must be feeling extremely angry with me?" "No, not angry so much as grieved," she replied. "So much the worse! But I have received sufficient punishment, have I not? My position now (I am sure that you will agree with me) is a very awkward one. True, you wrote in your message: 'Why need you depart?' but I cannot and will not remain. By to-morrow, therefore, I shall have departed." "But why need you, need you----?" "Why need I depart?" "No, I was going to have said something quite different." "We cannot recover the past," he continued, "and it was only a question of time before this should happen. I know only of one condition under which I could remain. And that condition is never likely to arise. For (pardon my presumption) I suppose you neither love me now nor could ever do so?" With the words there came a flash from under his dark brows. She did not reply. Through her brain there flitted only the one thought: "I am afraid of this man!" "Farewell," he continued, as though he had divined that thought. Then he moved away towards the house. Entering the house a little later, Anna Sergievna called to Katia, and took the girl by the arm: nor throughout the rest of the evening did she once part from her. Also, instead of joining in a game of cards, she sat uttering laugh after laugh of a nature which ill consorted with her blanched and careworn face. Gazing at her perplexedly, as a young man will do, Arkady kept asking himself the question: "What can this mean?" As for Bazarov, he locked himself in his room, and only appeared to join the rest at tea. When he did so, Anna Sergievna yearned to say something...
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Intelligence Amplifier™ Analysis
The Road of Wounded Pride - When Rejection Triggers Flight
When rejection wounds our ego, we disguise retreat as principled choice to protect our self-image.
Why This Matters
Connect literature to life
This chapter teaches how to recognize when wounded ego disguises itself as principled decision-making.
Practice This Today
Next time you want to quit, transfer, or cut contact after an awkward interaction, ask yourself: 'Am I leaving because this is genuinely wrong for me, or because my pride got hurt?'
Now let's explore the literary elements.
Terms to Know
Social awkwardness after rejection
The uncomfortable atmosphere that develops when someone has been romantically rejected but still has to interact socially. Both parties know what happened, creating tension that affects everyone around them.
Modern Usage:
Like when you have to keep working with someone after they turned you down for a date, and every meeting feels weird.
Pride as defense mechanism
Using arrogance and coldness to protect yourself from further emotional hurt after being vulnerable and rejected. The person acts superior to avoid admitting they're wounded.
Modern Usage:
When someone acts like they don't care about being dumped, posting pictures of themselves having fun to show they're 'totally fine.'
Comic relief character
A foolish or annoying person who accidentally breaks tension in serious situations. Their obliviousness to the drama around them provides unintentional relief from emotional intensity.
Modern Usage:
The coworker who shows up with donuts during a tense staff meeting, completely unaware that everyone's been fighting.
Emotional retreat
Choosing to physically leave a situation rather than deal with complicated feelings or relationships. Often disguised as practical decision-making but really about avoiding discomfort.
Modern Usage:
Quitting a job because your ex works there, or moving cities after a bad breakup instead of working through your feelings.
Diplomatic conversation
Polite, careful talk designed to avoid conflict or uncomfortable topics. People say pleasant things while dancing around what they really want to discuss.
Modern Usage:
Making small talk about the weather with your neighbor when you both know their dog keeps pooping in your yard.
Rigid contempt
A cold, unyielding attitude of superiority used to mask hurt feelings. The person acts like everyone and everything is beneath them to avoid showing vulnerability.
Modern Usage:
Acting like you're too good for your hometown after moving to the city, when really you're insecure about fitting in.
Characters in This Chapter
Bazarov
Wounded protagonist
Apologizes to Anna for his emotional confession but immediately announces he's leaving, unable to handle the awkwardness of rejection. His pride won't let him stay where he feels vulnerable.
Modern Equivalent:
The guy who ghosts you after you don't text back fast enough
Anna Sergievna (Madame Odintsov)
Conflicted object of affection
Feels uncomfortable around Bazarov after rejecting him but seems more confused than angry. She's trying to maintain social normalcy while processing complex emotions.
Modern Equivalent:
The woman trying to stay friends after turning someone down
Arkady
Loyal but conflicted friend
Decides to leave with Bazarov out of loyalty, but he's also running from his own emotional confusion about both Anna and her sister Katia.
Modern Equivalent:
The friend who leaves the party early because their buddy got rejected
Sitnikov
Oblivious comic relief
Arrives uninvited and breaks the tense atmosphere with his ridiculous presence, accidentally providing relief from the emotional drama everyone else is experiencing.
Modern Equivalent:
The person who shows up to the wrong Zoom meeting and keeps talking
Katia
Quiet romantic interest
Receives Arkady's attention during dinner, representing his growing feelings that complicate his loyalty to Bazarov and add to his reasons for wanting to leave.
Modern Equivalent:
The younger sister you actually connect with better
Key Quotes & Analysis
"No, not angry so much as grieved"
Context: When Bazarov asks if she's angry about his confession
Shows Anna's emotional complexity - she's not mad at Bazarov for being honest about his feelings, but she's sad about the situation and how it's changed their relationship. Her response reveals genuine care beneath her rejection.
In Today's Words:
I'm not mad at you, I'm just sad about how this turned out
"My position now is a very awkward one"
Context: During his apology to Anna before announcing his departure
Bazarov admits the social discomfort of staying after being rejected, but frames it practically rather than emotionally. He's acknowledging the awkwardness while protecting his pride.
In Today's Words:
This is really uncomfortable for me now
"No, no! Again, no!"
Context: While observing Bazarov's stern, forbidding expression during dinner
Anna's internal dialogue reveals she's still processing her rejection of Bazarov and perhaps questioning her decision. The repetition suggests ongoing internal conflict about her feelings.
In Today's Words:
Nope, definitely not changing my mind about this
Thematic Threads
Pride
In This Chapter
Bazarov's wounded pride forces him to leave immediately after rejection, unable to tolerate the vulnerability of staying
Development
Evolved from his intellectual arrogance to personal emotional defensiveness
In Your Life:
You might recognize this when you quit something after criticism instead of learning from it
Emotional Maturity
In This Chapter
Both young men flee emotional complexity they're unprepared to handle, choosing escape over growth
Development
Building from earlier chapters where their philosophies couldn't handle real human connection
In Your Life:
You see this when you avoid difficult conversations that might actually strengthen relationships
Social Masks
In This Chapter
Bazarov's cynical philosophizing about women masks his wounded feelings and genuine confusion
Development
His nihilistic theories are increasingly revealed as protective armor rather than genuine beliefs
In Your Life:
You might use cynicism or detachment to protect yourself after being hurt
Class Expectations
In This Chapter
The tension between Bazarov's common background and his presence in aristocratic circles adds pressure to his departure
Development
Continued exploration of how class differences create additional layers of social awkwardness
In Your Life:
You feel this when you don't quite fit in somewhere and one mistake feels like confirmation you don't belong
Friendship Loyalty
In This Chapter
Arkady chooses to leave with Bazarov despite his own conflicted feelings, prioritizing loyalty over personal desire
Development
Shows how their friendship dynamic is shifting as both face individual emotional challenges
In Your Life:
You face this when supporting a friend means sacrificing your own opportunities or happiness
You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.
Discussion Questions
- 1
Why does Bazarov decide to leave immediately after Anna rejects his confession, and how does he justify this decision to himself?
analysis • surface - 2
How does Bazarov's wounded pride transform his embarrassment into what he sees as a principled departure?
analysis • medium - 3
Where do you see this pattern of 'retreat disguised as choice' playing out in modern workplaces, relationships, or social situations?
application • medium - 4
When someone you know suddenly quits or leaves after a setback, how can you tell whether it's genuine incompatibility or wounded pride driving the decision?
application • deep - 5
What does Bazarov's inability to stay and work through awkwardness reveal about the relationship between intellectual confidence and emotional maturity?
reflection • deep
Critical Thinking Exercise
Map Your Exit Patterns
Think of three times you left a situation after feeling rejected, criticized, or embarrassed. For each situation, write down what you told yourself about why you left versus what you were actually feeling. Look for patterns in how you justify exits when your ego gets bruised.
Consider:
- •Notice the difference between the story you told others and what you felt inside
- •Identify any recurring phrases you use to justify leaving ('they don't appreciate me', 'it wasn't worth it', 'I deserve better')
- •Consider whether staying longer might have led to growth or better outcomes
Journaling Prompt
Write about a time when you almost left a difficult situation but chose to stay instead. What did you learn from pushing through the discomfort rather than retreating?
Coming Up Next...
Chapter 20: A Son Returns Home
In the next chapter, you'll discover different generations express love and connection despite gaps in understanding, and learn family dynamics reveal our authentic selves beneath our public personas. These insights reveal timeless patterns that resonate in our own lives and relationships.