Summary
Anna and Vronsky's relationship reaches a breaking point as they struggle with the suffocating reality of their situation. Living together but unable to marry due to Anna's husband's refusal to grant a divorce, they find themselves trapped in a social limbo that's eating away at both of them. Anna becomes increasingly paranoid and jealous, convinced that Vronsky is losing interest in her, while Vronsky feels constrained by their isolation from society and his inability to pursue his career ambitions freely. Their love, once passionate and all-consuming, now feels like a prison. Anna's emotional state becomes more volatile as she realizes how much she's sacrificed - her son, her social position, her sense of self - for a relationship that may not survive the pressures weighing on it. The chapter shows how even the most intense romantic love can become toxic when it exists in opposition to social structures and personal identity. Tolstoy demonstrates that passion alone isn't enough to sustain a relationship when external pressures and internal doubts begin to mount. Anna's increasing desperation reveals how much her sense of worth has become tied to Vronsky's attention, while his growing restlessness shows the limits of romantic love when it demands the sacrifice of everything else in life. This dynamic will be familiar to anyone who's ever felt trapped in a relationship that started with fireworks but gradually became the source of their unhappiness, or who's watched their identity become so wrapped up in another person that they lost sight of who they were before.
Coming Up in Chapter 40
Anna's emotional spiral continues as she becomes increasingly convinced that Vronsky is slipping away from her. Her desperate attempts to hold onto him will lead to a confrontation that changes everything between them.
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An excerpt from the original text.(~500 words)
T“his is rather indiscreet, but it’s so good it’s an awful temptation to tell the story,” said Vronsky, looking at her with his laughing eyes. “I’m not going to mention any names.” “But I shall guess, so much the better.” “Well, listen: two festive young men were driving—” “Officers of your regiment, of course?” “I didn’t say they were officers,—two young men who had been lunching.” “In other words, drinking.” “Possibly. They were driving on their way to dinner with a friend in the most festive state of mind. And they beheld a pretty woman in a hired sledge; she overtakes them, looks round at them, and, so they fancy anyway, nods to them and laughs. They, of course, follow her. They gallop at full speed. To their amazement, the fair one alights at the entrance of the very house to which they were going. The fair one darts upstairs to the top story. They get a glimpse of red lips under a short veil, and exquisite little feet.” “You describe it with such feeling that I fancy you must be one of the two.” “And after what you said, just now! Well, the young men go in to their comrade’s; he was giving a farewell dinner. There they certainly did drink a little too much, as one always does at farewell dinners. And at dinner they inquire who lives at the top in that house. No one knows; only their host’s valet, in answer to their inquiry whether any ‘young ladies’ are living on the top floor, answered that there were a great many of them about there. After dinner the two young men go into their host’s study, and write a letter to the unknown fair one. They compose an ardent epistle, a declaration in fact, and they carry the letter upstairs themselves, so as to elucidate whatever might appear not perfectly intelligible in the letter.” “Why are you telling me these horrible stories? Well?” “They ring. A maid-servant opens the door, they hand her the letter, and assure the maid that they’re both so in love that they’ll die on the spot at the door. The maid, stupefied, carries in their messages. All at once a gentleman appears with whiskers like sausages, as red as a lobster, announces that there is no one living in the flat except his wife, and sends them both about their business.” “How do you know he had whiskers like sausages, as you say?” “Ah, you shall hear. I’ve just been to make peace between them.” “Well, and what then?” “That’s the most interesting part of the story. It appears that it’s a happy couple, a government clerk and his lady. The government clerk lodges a complaint, and I became a mediator, and such a mediator!... I assure you Talleyrand couldn’t hold a candle to me.” “Why, where was the difficulty?” “Ah, you shall hear.... We apologize in due form: we are in despair, we entreat forgiveness for the unfortunate misunderstanding. The...
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Intelligence Amplifier™ Analysis
The Road of Love Without Foundation
When romantic love becomes your entire identity, it transforms from connection into a suffocating prison that destroys both partners.
Why This Matters
Connect literature to life
This chapter teaches how to spot when a relationship is consuming your sense of self rather than enhancing it.
Practice This Today
This week, notice when you catch yourself changing core parts of yourself to please someone else, or when your mood depends entirely on one person's attention.
Now let's explore the literary elements.
Terms to Know
Social ostracism
Being deliberately excluded from society's social circles and activities as punishment for breaking moral or social rules. In 19th-century Russia, this was devastating because your social position determined everything from career prospects to daily interactions.
Modern Usage:
We see this today in cancel culture, workplace blacklisting, or being frozen out of social groups after a scandal.
Codependency
When someone's sense of self-worth becomes entirely dependent on another person's attention and approval. The person loses their own identity and becomes obsessed with controlling their partner's feelings and actions.
Modern Usage:
This shows up in relationships where someone constantly checks their partner's phone, needs constant reassurance, or can't function when their partner is busy with other things.
Emotional volatility
Rapid, extreme mood swings that seem disproportionate to what's actually happening. Often a sign of deep insecurity or mental distress, where small triggers cause huge emotional reactions.
Modern Usage:
We see this in people who go from loving to furious over minor issues, often linked to anxiety, depression, or relationship trauma.
Sunk cost fallacy
Staying in a bad situation because you've already invested so much that leaving feels like admitting failure. You keep going not because it's working, but because of what you've already sacrificed.
Modern Usage:
This happens when people stay in bad jobs, toxic relationships, or expensive projects just because they've already put in so much time or money.
Social limbo
Being stuck between social categories with no clear place to belong. Anna and Vronsky can't be unmarried lovers in polite society, but they also can't be a legitimate married couple.
Modern Usage:
We see this in situations like long-term relationships without commitment, living together but not married, or being between jobs and social identities.
Masculine restlessness
The cultural expectation that men need purpose, career advancement, and social recognition to feel fulfilled. When blocked from these, they become frustrated and seek escape routes.
Modern Usage:
This shows up in men who feel trapped by family obligations, dead-end jobs, or relationships that limit their perceived freedom and ambition.
Characters in This Chapter
Anna
Tragic protagonist
She becomes increasingly paranoid and jealous, desperately clinging to Vronsky as her only source of identity and worth. Her emotional state deteriorates as she realizes how much she's sacrificed for a relationship that's becoming toxic.
Modern Equivalent:
The woman who gave up everything for a man and now panics every time he's late coming home
Vronsky
Conflicted lover
He feels trapped by their isolation and his inability to pursue his career freely. His growing restlessness shows how even passionate love can feel suffocating when it demands total sacrifice of other life goals.
Modern Equivalent:
The guy who moved in with his girlfriend but now feels like he's missing out on his career and social life
Karenin
Absent but controlling force
Though not physically present, his refusal to grant a divorce keeps Anna and Vronsky trapped in their social limbo. He represents the institutional power that can destroy lives through bureaucratic stubbornness.
Modern Equivalent:
The ex-spouse who won't sign the divorce papers just to make your life miserable
Key Quotes & Analysis
"Love? What is love? Love is the exclusive possession of another person."
Context: Anna reflects on how her understanding of love has become twisted into possessiveness and control.
This reveals how Anna's desperation has corrupted her view of love from something generous into something grasping. Her fear of losing Vronsky has turned love into a prison for both of them.
In Today's Words:
If you really love me, you'll prove it by never wanting anyone or anything else.
"He was weary of the uncertainty, of the position of a man who was deceiving himself."
Context: Describing Vronsky's growing frustration with their situation and his own role in it.
This shows how Vronsky is starting to see their relationship clearly - that they're both lying to themselves about whether this is sustainable or healthy. The passion is wearing off and reality is setting in.
In Today's Words:
He was tired of pretending this mess was working when it obviously wasn't.
"She felt that beside the love that bound them together there had grown up between them some evil spirit of strife."
Context: Describing the toxic dynamic that has developed between Anna and Vronsky.
Tolstoy shows how love alone isn't enough when external pressures and internal fears create a cycle of conflict. The 'evil spirit' represents how their circumstances have poisoned what was once pure feeling.
In Today's Words:
Something mean and nasty had crept into their relationship, turning every conversation into a fight.
Thematic Threads
Identity
In This Chapter
Anna's sense of self has become completely dependent on Vronsky's attention and approval
Development
Evolved from her initial rebellion against social expectations to complete loss of independent identity
In Your Life:
You might recognize this when you realize you can't remember what you enjoyed before your current relationship.
Social Expectations
In This Chapter
Their isolation from society creates pressure that their love alone cannot withstand
Development
The consequences of defying social norms are now fully manifesting in their daily reality
In Your Life:
You see this when going against family expectations creates ongoing stress that affects your relationship.
Human Relationships
In This Chapter
Love transforms from passionate connection to mutual resentment and fear
Development
The relationship has moved from idealization through disillusionment to potential destruction
In Your Life:
You experience this when you and your partner start fighting about everything because you're really fighting about feeling trapped.
Personal Growth
In This Chapter
Both characters have stopped growing as individuals, becoming smaller versions of themselves
Development
Their initial growth through love has reversed into mutual diminishment
In Your Life:
You notice this when you realize you've stopped pursuing your own goals and interests.
You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.
Discussion Questions
- 1
What specific changes do we see in Anna and Vronsky's relationship compared to their early passionate days together?
analysis • surface - 2
Why does Anna's jealousy and paranoia increase even though Vronsky hasn't actually done anything wrong?
analysis • medium - 3
Where do you see this pattern of 'love becoming a prison' in modern relationships - romantic, family, or friendships?
application • medium - 4
If you were counseling Anna and Vronsky, what specific steps would you suggest to rebuild their individual identities while staying together?
application • deep - 5
What does this chapter reveal about the difference between healthy love and possessive love?
reflection • deep
Critical Thinking Exercise
Map Your Identity Foundation
Draw two circles - one representing your identity before your most significant relationship, another representing your identity now. List specific interests, friendships, goals, and activities in each circle. Notice what disappeared, what stayed, and what grew. This isn't about judging your relationship, but understanding how your foundation has shifted.
Consider:
- •Consider whether the changes strengthen or weaken your sense of self
- •Notice if your mood depends heavily on how this relationship is going day-to-day
- •Think about what you'd want to reclaim or rebuild to feel more balanced
Journaling Prompt
Write about a time when you felt like you lost yourself in a relationship or situation. What warning signs did you notice? How did you (or could you) rebuild your foundation while maintaining the connection?
Coming Up Next...
Chapter 40
In the next chapter, you'll discover key events and character development in this chapter, and learn thematic elements and literary techniques. These insights reveal timeless patterns that resonate in our own lives and relationships.