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Anna Karenina - Chapter 3

Leo Tolstoy

Anna Karenina

Chapter 3

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Chapter 3

Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy

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When he was dressed, Stepan Arkadyevitch 'sprinkled some scent on himself, pulled down his shirt-cuffs, distributed into his pockets his cigarettes, pocketbook, matches, and watch with its double chain and seals, and shaking out his handkerchief, feeling himself clean, fragrant, healthy, and physically at ease, in spite of his unhappiness, he walked with a slight swing on each leg into the dining-room, where coffee was already waiting for him, and beside the coffee, letters and papers from the office.' This perfectly captures Stiva's character—he can compartmentalize his guilt, focusing on physical comfort and routine even as his marriage crumbles. He reads his letters. One was very unpleasant, from a merchant buying a forest on his wife's property. 'To sell this forest was absolutely essential; but at present, until he was reconciled with his wife, the subject could not be discussed. The most unpleasant thing of all was that his pecuniary interests should in this way enter into the question of his reconciliation with his wife.' The chapter shows how Stiva's financial dependence on his wife's property complicates everything, adding practical pressure to the emotional crisis. His morning routine—the scent, the careful arrangement of his belongings, his jaunty walk—reveals his shallow optimism and inability to grasp the seriousness of what he's done. He wants reconciliation not primarily for love but because his affairs demand it.

Coming Up in Chapter 4

Oblonsky must face his household staff and figure out how to manage the domestic crisis his affair has created. Meanwhile, he's expecting an important visitor who might help solve his financial troubles.

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An excerpt from the original text.(complete · 1659 words)

W

hen he was dressed, Stepan Arkadyevitch sprinkled some scent on
himself, pulled down his shirt-cuffs, distributed into his pockets his
cigarettes, pocketbook, matches, and watch with its double chain and
seals, and shaking out his handkerchief, feeling himself clean,
fragrant, healthy, and physically at ease, in spite of his unhappiness,
he walked with a slight swing on each leg into the dining-room, where
coffee was already waiting for him, and beside the coffee, letters and
papers from the office.

He read the letters. One was very unpleasant, from a merchant who was
buying a forest on his wife’s property. To sell this forest was
absolutely essential; but at present, until he was reconciled with his
wife, the subject could not be discussed. The most unpleasant thing of
all was that his pecuniary interests should in this way enter into the
question of his reconciliation with his wife. And the idea that he
might be led on by his interests, that he might seek a reconciliation
with his wife on account of the sale of the forest—that idea hurt him.

When he had finished his letters, Stepan Arkadyevitch moved the
office-papers close to him, rapidly looked through two pieces of
business, made a few notes with a big pencil, and pushing away the
papers, turned to his coffee. As he sipped his coffee, he opened a
still damp morning paper, and began reading it.

Stepan Arkadyevitch took in and read a liberal paper, not an extreme
one, but one advocating the views held by the majority. And in spite of
the fact that science, art, and politics had no special interest for
him, he firmly held those views on all these subjects which were held
by the majority and by his paper, and he only changed them when the
majority changed them—or, more strictly speaking, he did not change
them, but they imperceptibly changed of themselves within him.

Stepan Arkadyevitch had not chosen his political opinions or his views;
these political opinions and views had come to him of themselves, just
as he did not choose the shapes of his hat and coat, but simply took
those that were being worn. And for him, living in a certain
society—owing to the need, ordinarily developed at years of discretion,
for some degree of mental activity—to have views was just as
indispensable as to have a hat. If there was a reason for his
preferring liberal to conservative views, which were held also by many
of his circle, it arose not from his considering liberalism more
rational, but from its being in closer accordance with his manner of
life. The liberal party said that in Russia everything is wrong, and
certainly Stepan Arkadyevitch had many debts and was decidedly short of
money. The liberal party said that marriage is an institution quite out
of date, and that it needs reconstruction; and family life certainly
afforded Stepan Arkadyevitch little gratification, and forced him into
lying and hypocrisy, which was so repulsive to his nature. The liberal
party said, or rather allowed it to be understood, that religion is
only a curb to keep in check the barbarous classes of the people; and
Stepan Arkadyevitch could not get through even a short service without
his legs aching from standing up, and could never make out what was the
object of all the terrible and high-flown language about another world
when life might be so very amusing in this world. And with all this,
Stepan Arkadyevitch, who liked a joke, was fond of puzzling a plain man
by saying that if he prided himself on his origin, he ought not to stop
at Rurik and disown the first founder of his family—the monkey. And so
Liberalism had become a habit of Stepan Arkadyevitch’s, and he liked
his newspaper, as he did his cigar after dinner, for the slight fog it
diffused in his brain. He read the leading article, in which it was
maintained that it was quite senseless in our day to raise an outcry
that radicalism was threatening to swallow up all conservative
elements, and that the government ought to take measures to crush the
revolutionary hydra; that, on the contrary, “in our opinion the danger
lies not in that fantastic revolutionary hydra, but in the obstinacy of
traditionalism clogging progress,” etc., etc. He read another article,
too, a financial one, which alluded to Bentham and Mill, and dropped
some innuendoes reflecting on the ministry. With his characteristic
quickwittedness he caught the drift of each innuendo, divined whence it
came, at whom and on what ground it was aimed, and that afforded him,
as it always did, a certain satisfaction. But today that satisfaction
was embittered by Matrona Philimonovna’s advice and the unsatisfactory
state of the household. He read, too, that Count Beist was rumored to
have left for Wiesbaden, and that one need have no more gray hair, and
of the sale of a light carriage, and of a young person seeking a
situation; but these items of information did not give him, as usual, a
quiet, ironical gratification. Having finished the paper, a second cup
of coffee and a roll and butter, he got up, shaking the crumbs of the
roll off his waistcoat; and, squaring his broad chest, he smiled
joyously: not because there was anything particularly agreeable in his
mind—the joyous smile was evoked by a good digestion.

But this joyous smile at once recalled everything to him, and he grew
thoughtful.

Two childish voices (Stepan Arkadyevitch recognized the voices of
Grisha, his youngest boy, and Tanya, his eldest girl)
were heard
outside the door. They were carrying something, and dropped it.

“I told you not to sit passengers on the roof,” said the little girl in
English; “there, pick them up!”

“Everything’s in confusion,” thought Stepan Arkadyevitch; “there are
the children running about by themselves.” And going to the door, he
called them. They threw down the box, that represented a train, and
came in to their father.

The little girl, her father’s favorite, ran up boldly, embraced him,
and hung laughingly on his neck, enjoying as she always did the smell
of scent that came from his whiskers. At last the little girl kissed
his face, which was flushed from his stooping posture and beaming with
tenderness, loosed her hands, and was about to run away again; but her
father held her back.

“How is mamma?” he asked, passing his hand over his daughter’s smooth,
soft little neck. “Good morning,” he said, smiling to the boy, who had
come up to greet him. He was conscious that he loved the boy less, and
always tried to be fair; but the boy felt it, and did not respond with
a smile to his father’s chilly smile.

“Mamma? She is up,” answered the girl.

Stepan Arkadyevitch sighed. “That means that she’s not slept again all
night,” he thought.

“Well, is she cheerful?”

The little girl knew that there was a quarrel between her father and
mother, and that her mother could not be cheerful, and that her father
must be aware of this, and that he was pretending when he asked about
it so lightly. And she blushed for her father. He at once perceived it,
and blushed too.

“I don’t know,” she said. “She did not say we must do our lessons, but
she said we were to go for a walk with Miss Hoole to grandmamma’s.”

“Well, go, Tanya, my darling. Oh, wait a minute, though,” he said,
still holding her and stroking her soft little hand.

He took off the mantelpiece, where he had put it yesterday, a little
box of sweets, and gave her two, picking out her favorites, a chocolate
and a fondant.

“For Grisha?” said the little girl, pointing to the chocolate.

“Yes, yes.” And still stroking her little shoulder, he kissed her on
the roots of her hair and neck, and let her go.

“The carriage is ready,” said Matvey; “but there’s someone to see you
with a petition.”

“Been here long?” asked Stepan Arkadyevitch.

“Half an hour.”

“How many times have I told you to tell me at once?”

“One must let you drink your coffee in peace, at least,” said Matvey,
in the affectionately gruff tone with which it was impossible to be
angry.

“Well, show the person up at once,” said Oblonsky, frowning with
vexation.

The petitioner, the widow of a staff captain Kalinin, came with a
request impossible and unreasonable; but Stepan Arkadyevitch, as he
generally did, made her sit down, heard her to the end attentively
without interrupting her, and gave her detailed advice as to how and to
whom to apply, and even wrote her, in his large, sprawling, good and
legible hand, a confident and fluent little note to a personage who
might be of use to her. Having got rid of the staff captain’s widow,
Stepan Arkadyevitch took his hat and stopped to recollect whether he
had forgotten anything. It appeared that he had forgotten nothing
except what he wanted to forget—his wife.

“Ah, yes!” He bowed his head, and his handsome face assumed a harassed
expression. “To go, or not to go!” he said to himself; and an inner
voice told him he must not go, that nothing could come of it but
falsity; that to amend, to set right their relations was impossible,
because it was impossible to make her attractive again and able to
inspire love, or to make him an old man, not susceptible to love.
Except deceit and lying nothing could come of it now; and deceit and
lying were opposed to his nature.

“It must be some time, though: it can’t go on like this,” he said,
trying to give himself courage. He squared his chest, took out a
cigarette, took two whiffs at it, flung it into a mother-of-pearl
ashtray, and with rapid steps walked through the drawing-room, and
opened the other door into his wife’s bedroom.

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Let's Analyse the Pattern

Pattern: The Justified Selfishness Loop
This chapter reveals a devastating pattern: how we transform our selfishness into righteousness through mental gymnastics. Oblonsky doesn't just cheat—he convinces himself he's the reasonable one while his wife overreacts. This is the justified selfishness loop, where we protect our ego by reframing our harmful actions as understandable, even admirable. The mechanism works through emotional distance and selective empathy. Oblonsky feels genuine sorrow, but only for his own discomfort. He can't access his wife's actual experience because doing so would shatter his self-image as a good man who made a small mistake. So his mind creates a story: men need excitement, the affair meant nothing, wives are dramatic. Each rationalization builds a wall between him and the real consequences of his choices. This pattern dominates modern life. The manager who cuts healthcare benefits while buying a third vacation home, convinced they're making 'tough but necessary decisions.' The parent who works 80-hour weeks, telling themselves they're 'providing for the family' while missing every school event. The friend who constantly cancels plans but insists they're 'just really busy right now.' The partner who emotionally withdraws but claims their spouse is 'too needy.' Each person genuinely believes their story. Recognizing this pattern means watching for the gap between impact and intention. When someone's actions consistently hurt others but they always have reasonable explanations, you're seeing justified selfishness. When you catch yourself saying 'I had no choice' about choices you absolutely made, pause. Ask: whose experience am I not considering? What story am I telling myself to avoid feeling bad? The antidote isn't self-hatred—it's honest accounting of actual consequences, not just intentions. When you can name the pattern, predict where it leads, and navigate it successfully—that's amplified intelligence.

The mental process of transforming harmful actions into reasonable choices by avoiding empathy for those we've hurt.

Why This Matters

Connect literature to life

Skill: Testing Apologies

This chapter teaches how to distinguish between genuine remorse and self-serving rationalization by examining whose pain gets centered in the conversation.

Practice This Today

Next time someone apologizes to you, notice whether they focus on their intentions or your actual experience—real accountability acknowledges specific harm without making excuses.

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Now let's explore the literary elements.

Key Quotes & Analysis

"Everything was in confusion in the Oblonskys' house."

— Narrator

Context: Opening line describing the aftermath of the affair's discovery

This simple sentence immediately establishes that personal betrayal creates chaos far beyond just the couple involved. The word 'confusion' suggests that nobody knows how to act or what comes next when the foundation of family life is shattered.

In Today's Words:

When the affair came out, everything at home went completely sideways.

"Stepan Arkadyevitch was a truthful man in his relations with himself."

— Narrator

Context: Describing Oblonsky's self-awareness about his situation

This is deeply ironic - Tolstoy shows us that Oblonsky's 'truthfulness' with himself is actually elaborate self-deception. He's honest about wanting pleasure but dishonest about the consequences of his actions.

In Today's Words:

Steve was really good at lying to himself and calling it honesty.

"He could not at this date repent of the fact that he, a handsome, susceptible man of thirty-four, was not in love with his wife, the mother of five living children and one dead one."

— Narrator

Context: Oblonsky reflecting on his feelings toward his wife

This reveals Oblonsky's fundamental selfishness - he sees his lack of love for his wife as natural and unchangeable, ignoring his responsibility to the family he created. The mention of their dead child emphasizes what Dolly has sacrificed.

In Today's Words:

He couldn't feel bad about not loving his wife anymore - after all, he was still young and attractive, and she was just a tired mom.

"His wife had found out that he was having an affair with a French girl, who had been a governess in their family, and she had announced to him that she could not go on living in the same house with him."

— Narrator

Context: Explaining the crisis that has erupted

The clinical, matter-of-fact tone contrasts sharply with the emotional devastation this represents. The fact that it was their children's governess makes the betrayal even more intimate and painful.

In Today's Words:

His wife caught him sleeping with the nanny and told him she was done.

Thematic Threads

Self-Deception

In This Chapter

Oblonsky genuinely believes his wife is overreacting to his 'meaningless' affair

Development

Introduced here

In Your Life:

Notice when you find yourself with elaborate explanations for why your hurtful behavior was actually reasonable.

Consequences

In This Chapter

The household chaos mirrors the emotional destruction Oblonsky has caused

Development

Building from Chapter 1's surface-level problems

In Your Life:

Your actions create ripple effects beyond what you intended or want to acknowledge.

Gender Expectations

In This Chapter

Oblonsky assumes men are entitled to excitement while women should accept and forgive

Development

Introduced here

In Your Life:

Question which behaviors you excuse in yourself that you'd judge harshly in others.

Communication

In This Chapter

Complete breakdown between spouses who can't access each other's actual experience

Development

Introduced here

In Your Life:

The biggest relationship problems often stem from assuming you understand someone else's inner world.

Class

In This Chapter

The household servants reflect the family's emotional state, showing how personal chaos affects everyone

Development

Developing from earlier establishment of social world

In Your Life:

Your personal problems don't stay personal—they affect everyone around you, especially those with less power.

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You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.

Discussion Questions

  1. 1

    What specific justifications does Oblonsky give himself for why his affair wasn't really that bad?

    analysis • surface
  2. 2

    Why can't Oblonsky truly understand why Dolly is so upset, even though he feels sorry?

    analysis • medium
  3. 3

    Where do you see this pattern of justified selfishness in modern workplaces, relationships, or politics?

    application • medium
  4. 4

    How would you recognize if you were falling into the justified selfishness loop in your own life?

    application • deep
  5. 5

    What does Oblonsky's inability to feel genuine empathy for Dolly reveal about how we protect our self-image?

    reflection • deep

Critical Thinking Exercise

10 minutes

Rewrite the Morning from Dolly's Perspective

Write a short paragraph describing this same morning from Dolly's point of view. What is she thinking and feeling as she hears Oblonsky moving around the house? What specific details would matter to her that Oblonsky completely misses? Focus on the gap between what he assumes she's thinking versus what she might actually be experiencing.

Consider:

  • •How might discovering the affair have changed how she sees their entire marriage?
  • •What practical worries might she have beyond just feeling betrayed?
  • •How does the chaos in the household affect her differently than it affects him?

Journaling Prompt

Write about a time when someone hurt you but seemed genuinely confused about why you were upset. What were they missing about your actual experience?

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Coming Up Next...

Chapter 4

Oblonsky must face his household staff and figure out how to manage the domestic crisis his affair has created. Meanwhile, he's expecting an important visitor who might help solve his financial troubles.

Continue to Chapter 4
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Chapter 4

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