Anna Karenina

he mistake made by Alexey Alexandrovitch in that, when preparing for
seeing his wife, he had overlooked the possibility that her repentance
might be sincere, and he might forgive her, and she might not die—this
mistake was two months after his return from Moscow brought home to him
in all its significance. But the mistake made by him had arisen not
simply from his having overlooked that contingency, but also from the
fact that until that day of his interview with his dying wife, he had
not known his own heart. At his sick wife’s bedside he had for the
first time in his life given way to that feeling of sympathetic
suffering always roused in him by the sufferings of others, and
hitherto looked on by him with shame as a harmful weakness. And pity
for her, and remorse for having desired her death, and most of all, the
joy of forgiveness, made him at once conscious, not simply of the
relief of his own sufferings, but of a spiritual peace he had never
experienced before. He suddenly felt that the very thing that was the
source of his sufferings had become the source of his spiritual joy;
that what had seemed insoluble while he was judging, blaming, and
hating, had become clear and simple when he forgave and loved.

He forgave his wife and pitied her for her sufferings and her remorse.
He forgave Vronsky, and pitied him, especially after reports reached
him of his despairing action. He felt more for his son than before. And
he blamed himself now for having taken too little interest in him. But
for the little newborn baby he felt a quite peculiar sentiment, not of
pity, only, but of tenderness. At first, from a feeling of compassion
alone, he had been interested in the delicate little creature, who was
not his child, and who was cast on one side during her mother’s
illness, and would certainly have died if he had not troubled about
her, and he did not himself observe how fond he became of her. He would
go into the nursery several times a day, and sit there for a long
while, so that the nurses, who were at first afraid of him, got quite
used to his presence. Sometimes for half an hour at a stretch he would
sit silently gazing at the saffron-red, downy, wrinkled face of the
sleeping baby, watching the movements of the frowning brows, and the
fat little hands, with clenched fingers, that rubbed the little eyes
and nose. At such moments particularly, Alexey Alexandrovitch had a
sense of perfect peace and inward harmony, and saw nothing
extraordinary in his position, nothing that ought to be changed.

But as time went on, he saw more and more distinctly that however
natural the position now seemed to him, he would not long be allowed to
remain in it. He felt that besides the blessed spiritual force
controlling his soul, there was another, a brutal force, as powerful,
or more powerful, which controlled his life, and that this force would
not allow him that humble peace he longed for. He felt that everyone
was looking at him with inquiring wonder, that he was not understood,
and that something was expected of him. Above all, he felt the
instability and unnaturalness of his relations with his wife.

When the softening effect of the near approach of death had passed
away, Alexey Alexandrovitch began to notice that Anna was afraid of
him, ill at ease with him, and could not look him straight in the face.
She seemed to be wanting, and not daring, to tell him something; and as
though foreseeing their present relations could not continue, she
seemed to be expecting something from him.

Towards the end of February it happened that Anna’s baby daughter, who
had been named Anna too, fell ill. Alexey Alexandrovitch was in the
nursery in the morning, and leaving orders for the doctor to be sent
for, he went to his office. On finishing his work, he returned home at
four. Going into the hall he saw a handsome groom, in a braided livery
and a bear fur cape, holding a white fur cloak.

“Who is here?” asked Alexey Alexandrovitch.

“Princess Elizaveta Federovna Tverskaya,” the groom answered, and it
seemed to Alexey Alexandrovitch that he grinned.

During all this difficult time Alexey Alexandrovitch had noticed that
his worldly acquaintances, especially women, took a peculiar interest
in him and his wife. All these acquaintances he observed with
difficulty concealing their mirth at something; the same mirth that he
had perceived in the lawyer’s eyes, and just now in the eyes of this
groom. Everyone seemed, somehow, hugely delighted, as though they had
just been at a wedding. When they met him, with ill-disguised enjoyment
they inquired after his wife’s health. The presence of Princess
Tverskaya was unpleasant to Alexey Alexandrovitch from the memories
associated with her, and also because he disliked her, and he went
straight to the nursery. In the day nursery Seryozha, leaning on the
table with his legs on a chair, was drawing and chatting away merrily.
The English governess, who had during Anna’s illness replaced the
French one, was sitting near the boy knitting a shawl. She hurriedly
got up, curtseyed, and pulled Seryozha.

Alexey Alexandrovitch stroked his son’s hair, answered the governess’s
inquiries about his wife, and asked what the doctor had said of the
baby.

“The doctor said it was nothing serious, and he ordered a bath, sir.”

“But she is still in pain,” said Alexey Alexandrovitch, listening to
the baby’s screaming in the next room.

“I think it’s the wet-nurse, sir,” the Englishwoman said firmly.

“What makes you think so?” he asked, stopping short.

“It’s just as it was at Countess Paul’s, sir. They gave the baby
medicine, and it turned out that the baby was simply hungry: the nurse
had no milk, sir.”

Alexey Alexandrovitch pondered, and after standing still a few seconds
he went in at the other door. The baby was lying with its head thrown
back, stiffening itself in the nurse’s arms, and would not take the
plump breast offered it; and it never ceased screaming in spite of the
double hushing of the wet-nurse and the other nurse, who was bending
over her.

“Still no better?” said Alexey Alexandrovitch.

“She’s very restless,” answered the nurse in a whisper.

“Miss Edwarde says that perhaps the wet-nurse has no milk,” he said.

“I think so too, Alexey Alexandrovitch.”

“Then why didn’t you say so?”

“Who’s one to say it to? Anna Arkadyevna still ill....” said the nurse
discontentedly.

The nurse was an old servant of the family. And in her simple words
there seemed to Alexey Alexandrovitch an allusion to his position.

The baby screamed louder than ever, struggling and sobbing. The nurse,
with a gesture of despair, went to it, took it from the wet-nurse’s
arms, and began walking up and down, rocking it.

“You must ask the doctor to examine the wet-nurse,” said Alexey
Alexandrovitch. The smartly dressed and healthy-looking nurse,
frightened at the idea of losing her place, muttered something to
herself, and covering her bosom, smiled contemptuously at the idea of
doubts being cast on her abundance of milk. In that smile, too, Alexey
Alexandrovitch saw a sneer at his position.

“Luckless child!” said the nurse, hushing the baby, and still walking
up and down with it.

Alexey Alexandrovitch sat down, and with a despondent and suffering
face watched the nurse walking to and fro.

When the child at last was still, and had been put in a deep bed, and
the nurse, after smoothing the little pillow, had left her, Alexey
Alexandrovitch got up, and walking awkwardly on tiptoe, approached the
baby. For a minute he was still, and with the same despondent face
gazed at the baby; but all at once a smile, that moved his hair and the
skin of his forehead, came out on his face, and he went as softly out
of the room.

In the dining-room he rang the bell, and told the servant who came in
to send again for the doctor. He felt vexed with his wife for not being
anxious about this exquisite baby, and in this vexed humor he had no
wish to go to her; he had no wish, either, to see Princess Betsy. But
his wife might wonder why he did not go to her as usual; and so,
overcoming his disinclination, he went towards the bedroom. As he
walked over the soft rug towards the door, he could not help
overhearing a conversation he did not want to hear.

“If he hadn’t been going away, I could have understood your answer and
his too. But your husband ought to be above that,” Betsy was saying.

“It’s not for my husband; for myself I don’t wish it. Don’t say that!”
answered Anna’s excited voice.

“Yes, but you must care to say good-bye to a man who has shot himself
on your account....”

“That’s just why I don’t want to.”

With a dismayed and guilty expression, Alexey Alexandrovitch stopped
and would have gone back unobserved. But reflecting that this would be
undignified, he turned back again, and clearing his throat, he went up
to the bedroom. The voices were silent, and he went in.

Anna, in a gray dressing gown, with a crop of short clustering black
curls on her round head, was sitting on a settee. The eagerness died
out of her face, as it always did, at the sight of her husband; she
dropped her head and looked round uneasily at Betsy. Betsy, dressed in
the height of the latest fashion, in a hat that towered somewhere over
her head like a shade on a lamp, in a blue dress with violet crossway
stripes slanting one way on the bodice and the other way on the skirt,
was sitting beside Anna, her tall flat figure held erect. Bowing her
head, she greeted Alexey Alexandrovitch with an ironical smile.

“Ah!” she said, as though surprised. “I’m very glad you’re at home. You
never put in an appearance anywhere, and I haven’t seen you ever since
Anna has been ill. I have heard all about it—your anxiety. Yes, you’re
a wonderful husband!” she said, with a meaning and affable air, as
though she were bestowing an order of magnanimity on him for his
conduct to his wife.

Alexey Alexandrovitch bowed frigidly, and kissing his wife’s hand,
asked how she was.

“Better, I think,” she said, avoiding his eyes.

“But you’ve rather a feverish-looking color,” he said, laying stress on
the word “feverish.”

“We’ve been talking too much,” said Betsy. “I feel it’s selfishness on
my part, and I am going away.”

She got up, but Anna, suddenly flushing, quickly caught at her hand.

“No, wait a minute, please. I must tell you ... no, you.” she turned to
Alexey Alexandrovitch, and her neck and brow were suffused with
crimson. “I won’t and can’t keep anything secret from you,” she said.

Alexey Alexandrovitch cracked his fingers and bowed his head.

“Betsy’s been telling me that Count Vronsky wants to come here to say
good-bye before his departure for Tashkend.” She did not look at her
husband, and was evidently in haste to have everything out, however
hard it might be for her. “I told her I could not receive him.”

“You said, my dear, that it would depend on Alexey Alexandrovitch,”
Betsy corrected her.

“Oh, no, I can’t receive him; and what object would there....” She
stopped suddenly, and glanced inquiringly at her husband (he did not
look at her). “In short, I don’t wish it....”

Alexey Alexandrovitch advanced and would have taken her hand.

Her first impulse was to jerk back her hand from the damp hand with big
swollen veins that sought hers, but with an obvious effort to control
herself she pressed his hand.

“I am very grateful to you for your confidence, but....” he said,
feeling with confusion and annoyance that what he could decide easily
and clearly by himself, he could not discuss before Princess Tverskaya,
who to him stood for the incarnation of that brute force which would
inevitably control him in the life he led in the eyes of the world, and
hinder him from giving way to his feeling of love and forgiveness. He
stopped short, looking at Princess Tverskaya.

“Well, good-bye, my darling,” said Betsy, getting up. She kissed Anna,
and went out. Alexey Alexandrovitch escorted her out.

“Alexey Alexandrovitch! I know you are a truly magnanimous man,” said
Betsy, stopping in the little drawing-room, and with special warmth
shaking hands with him once more. “I am an outsider, but I so love her
and respect you that I venture to advise. Receive him. Alexey Vronsky
is the soul of honor, and he is going away to Tashkend.”

“Thank you, princess, for your sympathy and advice. But the question of
whether my wife can or cannot see anyone she must decide herself.”

He said this from habit, lifting his brows with dignity, and reflected
immediately that whatever his words might be, there could be no dignity
in his position. And he saw this by the suppressed, malicious, and
ironical smile with which Betsy glanced at him after this phrase.