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War and Peace - When Family Drama Crashes the Party

Leo Tolstoy

War and Peace

When Family Drama Crashes the Party

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Summary

The Rostov family's evening entertainment takes an emotional turn when Natasha discovers her friend Sonya sobbing in the hallway. Sonya is heartbroken because Nicholas is leaving for military service, and worse, his sister Vera has threatened to tell their mother about Sonya's romantic feelings for her cousin Nicholas. The situation seems impossible—cousin marriages require special permission, and Vera has made it clear that Nicholas should marry the wealthy Julie instead. Natasha immediately drops her own happiness to comfort her friend, using gentle reassurance and practical hope to lift Sonya's spirits. She reminds Sonya of previous conversations where they'd figured out solutions, mentions other cousin marriages that worked out, and insists that Nicholas doesn't care for Julie at all. The comfort works—Sonya transforms from a sobbing mess back into a hopeful young woman. They return to the party where the evening continues with music and dancing. Nicholas sings a romantic song, and the night culminates in an impromptu dance performance by the Count and the formidable Marya Dmitrievna. Their enthusiastic, slightly ridiculous dancing delights everyone, including the household servants who gather to watch their master make merry. The chapter shows how genuine care between friends can turn despair into hope, and how shared joy—even something as simple as watching an older couple dance with abandon—can unite an entire household in happiness.

Coming Up in Chapter 21

The party winds down, but the evening's emotional revelations have set new dynamics in motion. Meanwhile, Pierre finds himself drawn deeper into conversations that will challenge his understanding of the world around him.

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An excerpt from the original text.(complete · 2047 words)

T

he card tables were drawn out, sets made up for boston, and the
count’s visitors settled themselves, some in the two drawing rooms,
some in the sitting room, some in the library.

The count, holding his cards fanwise, kept himself with difficulty from
dropping into his usual after-dinner nap, and laughed at everything.
The young people, at the countess’ instigation, gathered round the
clavichord and harp. Julie by general request played first. After she
had played a little air with variations on the harp, she joined the
other young ladies in begging Natásha and Nicholas, who were noted for
their musical talent, to sing something. Natásha, who was treated as
though she were grown up, was evidently very proud of this but at the
same time felt shy.

“What shall we sing?” she said.

“‘The Brook,’” suggested Nicholas.

“Well, then, let’s be quick. Borís, come here,” said Natásha.
“But where is Sónya?”

She looked round and seeing that her friend was not in the room ran to
look for her.

Running into Sónya’s room and not finding her there, Natásha ran to
the nursery, but Sónya was not there either. Natásha concluded that
she must be on the chest in the passage. The chest in the passage was
the place of mourning for the younger female generation in the Rostóv
household. And there in fact was Sónya lying face downward on Nurse’s
dirty feather bed on the top of the chest, crumpling her gauzy pink
dress under her, hiding her face with her slender fingers, and sobbing
so convulsively that her bare little shoulders shook. Natásha’s
face, which had been so radiantly happy all that saint’s day, suddenly
changed: her eyes became fixed, and then a shiver passed down her broad
neck and the corners of her mouth drooped.

“Sónya! What is it? What is the matter?... Oo... Oo... Oo...!” And
Natásha’s large mouth widened, making her look quite ugly, and she
began to wail like a baby without knowing why, except that Sónya was
crying. Sónya tried to lift her head to answer but could not, and
hid her face still deeper in the bed. Natásha wept, sitting on the
blue-striped feather bed and hugging her friend. With an effort Sónya
sat up and began wiping her eyes and explaining.

“Nicholas is going away in a week’s time, his... papers... have
come... he told me himself... but still I should not cry,” and she
showed a paper she held in her hand—with the verses Nicholas had
written, “still, I should not cry, but you can’t... no one can
understand... what a soul he has!”

And she began to cry again because he had such a noble soul.

“It’s all very well for you... I am not envious... I love you and
Borís also,” she went on, gaining a little strength; “he is nice...
there are no difficulties in your way.... But Nicholas is my cousin...
one would have to... the Metropolitan himself... and even then it
can’t be done. And besides, if she tells Mamma” (Sónya looked upon
the countess as her mother and called her so)
“that I am spoiling
Nicholas’ career and am heartless and ungrateful, while truly... God
is my witness,” and she made the sign of the cross, “I love her so
much, and all of you, only Véra... And what for? What have I done
to her? I am so grateful to you that I would willingly sacrifice
everything, only I have nothing....”

Sónya could not continue, and again hid her face in her hands and in
the feather bed. Natásha began consoling her, but her face showed that
she understood all the gravity of her friend’s trouble.

“Sónya,” she suddenly exclaimed, as if she had guessed the true
reason of her friend’s sorrow, “I’m sure Véra has said something
to you since dinner? Hasn’t she?”

“Yes, these verses Nicholas wrote himself and I copied some others,
and she found them on my table and said she’d show them to Mamma, and
that I was ungrateful, and that Mamma would never allow him to marry
me, but that he’ll marry Julie. You see how he’s been with her all
day... Natásha, what have I done to deserve it?...”

And again she began to sob, more bitterly than before. Natásha lifted
her up, hugged her, and, smiling through her tears, began comforting
her.

“Sónya, don’t believe her, darling! Don’t believe her! Do you
remember how we and Nicholas, all three of us, talked in the sitting
room after supper? Why, we settled how everything was to be. I don’t
quite remember how, but don’t you remember that it could all be
arranged and how nice it all was? There’s Uncle Shinshín’s brother
has married his first cousin. And we are only second cousins, you know.
And Borís says it is quite possible. You know I have told him all about
it. And he is so clever and so good!” said Natásha. “Don’t
you cry, Sónya, dear love, darling Sónya!” and she kissed her and
laughed. “Véra’s spiteful; never mind her! And all will come right
and she won’t say anything to Mamma. Nicholas will tell her himself,
and he doesn’t care at all for Julie.”

Natásha kissed her on the hair.

Sónya sat up. The little kitten brightened, its eyes shone, and it
seemed ready to lift its tail, jump down on its soft paws, and begin
playing with the ball of worsted as a kitten should.

“Do you think so?... Really? Truly?” she said, quickly smoothing her
frock and hair.

“Really, truly!” answered Natásha, pushing in a crisp lock that had
strayed from under her friend’s plaits.

Both laughed.

“Well, let’s go and sing ‘The Brook.’”

“Come along!”

“Do you know, that fat Pierre who sat opposite me is so funny!” said
Natásha, stopping suddenly. “I feel so happy!”

And she set off at a run along the passage.

Sónya, shaking off some down which clung to her and tucking away the
verses in the bosom of her dress close to her bony little chest, ran
after Natásha down the passage into the sitting room with flushed face
and light, joyous steps. At the visitors’ request the young people
sang the quartette, “The Brook,” with which everyone was delighted.
Then Nicholas sang a song he had just learned:

At nighttime in the moon’s fair glow
How sweet, as fancies wander free,
To feel that in this world there’s one
Who still is thinking but of thee!

That while her fingers touch the harp
Wafting sweet music o’er the lea,
It is for thee thus swells her heart,
Sighing its message out to thee...

A day or two, then bliss unspoilt,
But oh! till then I cannot live!...

He had not finished the last verse before the young people began to
get ready to dance in the large hall, and the sound of the feet and the
coughing of the musicians were heard from the gallery.

Pierre was sitting in the drawing room where Shinshín had engaged him,
as a man recently returned from abroad, in a political conversation in
which several others joined but which bored Pierre. When the music began
Natásha came in and walking straight up to Pierre said, laughing and
blushing:

“Mamma told me to ask you to join the dancers.”

“I am afraid of mixing the figures,” Pierre replied; “but if you
will be my teacher...” And lowering his big arm he offered it to the
slender little girl.

While the couples were arranging themselves and the musicians tuning up,
Pierre sat down with his little partner. Natásha was perfectly happy;
she was dancing with a grown-up man, who had been abroad. She was
sitting in a conspicuous place and talking to him like a grown-up lady.
She had a fan in her hand that one of the ladies had given her to hold.
Assuming quite the pose of a society woman (heaven knows when and where
she had learned it)
she talked with her partner, fanning herself and
smiling over the fan.

“Dear, dear! Just look at her!” exclaimed the countess as she
crossed the ballroom, pointing to Natásha.

Natásha blushed and laughed.

“Well, really, Mamma! Why should you? What is there to be surprised
at?”

In the midst of the third écossaise there was a clatter of chairs being
pushed back in the sitting room where the count and Márya Dmítrievna
had been playing cards with the majority of the more distinguished and
older visitors. They now, stretching themselves after sitting so long,
and replacing their purses and pocketbooks, entered the ballroom. First
came Márya Dmítrievna and the count, both with merry countenances. The
count, with playful ceremony somewhat in ballet style, offered his
bent arm to Márya Dmítrievna. He drew himself up, a smile of debonair
gallantry lit up his face and as soon as the last figure of the
écossaise was ended, he clapped his hands to the musicians and shouted
up to their gallery, addressing the first violin:

“Semën! Do you know the Daniel Cooper?”

This was the count’s favorite dance, which he had danced in his youth.
(Strictly speaking, Daniel Cooper was one figure of the anglaise.)

“Look at Papa!” shouted Natásha to the whole company, and quite
forgetting that she was dancing with a grown-up partner she bent her
curly head to her knees and made the whole room ring with her laughter.

And indeed everybody in the room looked with a smile of pleasure at the
jovial old gentleman, who standing beside his tall and stout partner,
Márya Dmítrievna, curved his arms, beat time, straightened his
shoulders, turned out his toes, tapped gently with his foot, and, by
a smile that broadened his round face more and more, prepared the
onlookers for what was to follow. As soon as the provocatively gay
strains of Daniel Cooper (somewhat resembling those of a merry peasant
dance)
began to sound, all the doorways of the ballroom were suddenly
filled by the domestic serfs—the men on one side and the women on
the other—who with beaming faces had come to see their master making
merry.

“Just look at the master! A regular eagle he is!” loudly remarked
the nurse, as she stood in one of the doorways.

The count danced well and knew it. But his partner could not and did not
want to dance well. Her enormous figure stood erect, her powerful arms
hanging down (she had handed her reticule to the countess), and only her
stern but handsome face really joined in the dance. What was expressed
by the whole of the count’s plump figure, in Márya Dmítrievna found
expression only in her more and more beaming face and quivering nose.
But if the count, getting more and more into the swing of it, charmed
the spectators by the unexpectedness of his adroit maneuvers and
the agility with which he capered about on his light feet, Márya
Dmítrievna produced no less impression by slight exertions—the least
effort to move her shoulders or bend her arms when turning, or stamp
her foot—which everyone appreciated in view of her size and habitual
severity. The dance grew livelier and livelier. The other couples could
not attract a moment’s attention to their own evolutions and did not
even try to do so. All were watching the count and Márya Dmítrievna.
Natásha kept pulling everyone by sleeve or dress, urging them to
“look at Papa!” though as it was they never took their eyes off the
couple. In the intervals of the dance the count, breathing deeply, waved
and shouted to the musicians to play faster. Faster, faster, and faster;
lightly, more lightly, and yet more lightly whirled the count, flying
round Márya Dmítrievna, now on his toes, now on his heels; until,
turning his partner round to her seat, he executed the final pas,
raising his soft foot backwards, bowing his perspiring head, smiling
and making a wide sweep with his arm, amid a thunder of applause and
laughter led by Natásha. Both partners stood still, breathing heavily
and wiping their faces with their cambric handkerchiefs.

“That’s how we used to dance in our time, ma chère,” said the
count.

“That was a Daniel Cooper!” exclaimed Márya Dmítrievna, tucking up
her sleeves and puffing heavily.

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Let's Analyse the Pattern

Pattern: Crisis Friendship Response
This chapter reveals a powerful pattern: true friendship transforms us from self-focused individuals into people who immediately prioritize another's crisis over our own comfort. When Natasha finds Sonya sobbing, she doesn't hesitate—her own evening of fun becomes secondary to her friend's heartbreak. The mechanism works through emotional contagion and genuine care. Natasha doesn't just offer empty comfort; she actively problem-solves, recalls previous conversations, and provides specific hope (mentioning other cousin marriages that worked). She doesn't minimize Sonya's pain or rush to fix it—she sits with it, then systematically addresses each fear. This transforms Sonya from despair back to hope because she feels truly heard and supported. This exact pattern appears everywhere today. When your coworker breaks down about their divorce, do you stay late to listen or rush home? When your neighbor mentions struggling with medical bills, do you research resources or just say 'that sucks'? When your sister calls crying about her teenager, do you drop what you're doing to really help, or offer quick advice? The pattern shows up in hospital break rooms when one nurse comforts another after losing a patient, in factory break areas when someone's kid gets arrested, in apartment hallways when a single mom can't make rent. Here's your navigation framework: Crisis friendship requires three actions—Stop (drop your agenda immediately), Sit (be fully present with their pain), and Solve (offer specific, actionable hope). Don't minimize, don't compare to your problems, don't rush to fix. True friends become temporary crisis managers for each other. When you can recognize someone's genuine crisis moment and respond with this three-step framework, you build the kind of friendships that sustain you through your own dark times. That's amplified intelligence—knowing that investing in others' crises creates the support network you'll need for your own.

True friendship means immediately dropping your own agenda to become a temporary crisis manager when someone you care about is genuinely struggling.

Why This Matters

Connect literature to life

Skill: Crisis Response Recognition

This chapter teaches how to distinguish between someone having a bad day and someone in genuine crisis, then respond appropriately to each.

Practice This Today

This week, notice when someone's distress feels different—more raw, more desperate—and practice the Stop-Sit-Solve framework instead of offering quick fixes.

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Now let's explore the literary elements.

Key Quotes & Analysis

"The chest in the passage was the place of mourning for the younger female generation in the Rostov household."

— Narrator

Context: When Natasha finds Sonya crying in their secret hiding spot

This reveals that even in wealthy households, young women had so little privacy and control that they needed secret places to express their real emotions. It shows how their feelings were considered unimportant by the adult world.

In Today's Words:

Every house has that one spot where the kids go to cry when life gets overwhelming.

"Uncle married his first cousin, and we are only second cousins, you know."

— Natasha

Context: When she's trying to give Sonya hope about marrying Nicholas

Natasha uses practical examples to show Sonya that their situation isn't hopeless. She's being a good friend by offering concrete reasons for optimism rather than just empty comfort.

In Today's Words:

Look, if they could make it work, so can you - your situation isn't even as complicated as theirs was.

"Nicholas does not care for Julie at all, I know he doesn't."

— Natasha

Context: Reassuring Sonya about the competition from wealthy Julie

This shows Natasha's loyalty and her ability to read people's true feelings. She's not just saying what Sonya wants to hear - she's sharing genuine observations to give her friend real hope.

In Today's Words:

Trust me, he's totally not into her - I can tell.

Thematic Threads

Class Barriers

In This Chapter

Sonya's romantic hopes are crushed by class expectations—cousin marriages need permission, and Vera pushes Nicholas toward wealthy Julie instead

Development

Deepening from earlier social distinctions to show how class directly destroys personal relationships

In Your Life:

You might recognize this when family pressures you to date someone 'appropriate' rather than who you actually love.

Female Solidarity

In This Chapter

Natasha immediately abandons her own fun to comfort Sonya, while Vera uses social pressure to crush her romantic rival

Development

Introduced here as contrast between supportive and competitive female relationships

In Your Life:

You see this choice daily—whether to support other women or compete with them for limited opportunities.

Hope vs Despair

In This Chapter

Sonya transforms from sobbing despair to renewed hope through Natasha's specific reassurances and problem-solving

Development

Introduced here as showing how genuine support can shift emotional states

In Your Life:

You experience this when someone takes time to really listen and help you see solutions instead of just problems.

Social Performance

In This Chapter

The evening continues with music and dancing, everyone performing happiness while real dramas play out behind the scenes

Development

Building on earlier themes of maintaining appearances while managing private struggles

In Your Life:

You do this when you smile through family gatherings while dealing with personal crises no one else knows about.

Generational Joy

In This Chapter

The Count and Marya Dmitrievna's enthusiastic dancing delights everyone, bridging age gaps through shared celebration

Development

Introduced here as showing how authentic joy transcends social boundaries

In Your Life:

You see this when older relatives let loose at weddings and everyone remembers they're still people, not just authority figures.

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You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.

Discussion Questions

  1. 1

    What specific actions did Natasha take when she found Sonya crying, and how did those actions change Sonya's emotional state?

    analysis • surface
  2. 2

    Why was Natasha's approach to comforting Sonya more effective than just saying 'everything will be okay'?

    analysis • medium
  3. 3

    Think about your workplace or family - when have you seen someone drop everything to help a friend in crisis? What made that response effective or ineffective?

    application • medium
  4. 4

    If your best friend came to you sobbing about a seemingly impossible situation, how would you apply Natasha's three-step approach: Stop, Sit, and Solve?

    application • deep
  5. 5

    What does this chapter reveal about the difference between surface-level friendship and the kind that sustains us through real hardship?

    reflection • deep

Critical Thinking Exercise

10 minutes

Crisis Response Audit

Think of the last three times someone came to you with a real problem or crisis. Write down what you actually did versus what Natasha did. Did you Stop (drop your agenda), Sit (be fully present), and Solve (offer specific help)? Rate your response honestly and identify which step you typically skip.

Consider:

  • •Most people rush to the 'Solve' step without doing 'Stop' and 'Sit' first
  • •Your natural tendency might be to minimize problems or compare them to your own
  • •The quality of your crisis response determines whether people will come to you again

Journaling Prompt

Write about a time when someone responded to your crisis the way Natasha responded to Sonya's. How did their response change your relationship with them?

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Coming Up Next...

Chapter 21: Vultures Circle the Dying Count

The party winds down, but the evening's emotional revelations have set new dynamics in motion. Meanwhile, Pierre finds himself drawn deeper into conversations that will challenge his understanding of the world around him.

Continue to Chapter 21
Previous
War Talk and Dinner Courage
Contents
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Vultures Circle the Dying Count

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