Summary
Pierre returns to Moscow trying to avoid Natasha, but fate keeps throwing them together. When Marya Dmitrievna summons him urgently, he learns devastating news: Natasha has broken her engagement to Prince Andrew and tried to elope with Anatole Kuragin. The twist? Anatole is already secretly married, making Natasha's sacrifice meaningless. Pierre struggles to reconcile the charming girl he's known since childhood with this apparent betrayal. He bitterly reflects that 'they are all alike,' lumping Natasha together with his own unfaithful wife. But Tolstoy reveals something crucial: Natasha's cold, dignified expression masks overwhelming despair and shame. When Pierre must deliver the brutal truth about Anatole's marriage, Natasha's world crumbles completely. This chapter exposes how we often misread people's behavior—what looks like callousness might be someone drowning in shame. Pierre's task of being the messenger shows how sometimes friendship means delivering painful truths. The chapter also reveals how scandals ripple outward, threatening to destroy not just Natasha but potentially leading to duels involving her father, brother, and former fiancé. Tolstoy masterfully shows how one impulsive decision can unravel multiple lives, while also demonstrating that our first judgments about people's motivations are often wrong.
Coming Up in Chapter 165
With Natasha's world shattered and the truth finally revealed, Pierre faces the difficult task of confronting Anatole and protecting the Rostov family from further scandal. But will his intervention be enough to prevent the brewing storm?
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An excerpt from the original text.(~500 words)
From the day his wife arrived in Moscow Pierre had been intending to go away somewhere, so as not to be near her. Soon after the Rostóvs came to Moscow the effect Natásha had on him made him hasten to carry out his intention. He went to Tver to see Joseph Alexéevich’s widow, who had long since promised to hand over to him some papers of her deceased husband’s. When he returned to Moscow Pierre was handed a letter from Márya Dmítrievna asking him to come and see her on a matter of great importance relating to Andrew Bolkónski and his betrothed. Pierre had been avoiding Natásha because it seemed to him that his feeling for her was stronger than a married man’s should be for his friend’s fiancée. Yet some fate constantly threw them together. “What can have happened? And what can they want with me?” thought he as he dressed to go to Márya Dmítrievna’s. “If only Prince Andrew would hurry up and come and marry her!” thought he on his way to the house. On the Tverskóy Boulevard a familiar voice called to him. “Pierre! Been back long?” someone shouted. Pierre raised his head. In a sleigh drawn by two gray trotting-horses that were bespattering the dashboard with snow, Anatole and his constant companion Makárin dashed past. Anatole was sitting upright in the classic pose of military dandies, the lower part of his face hidden by his beaver collar and his head slightly bent. His face was fresh and rosy, his white-plumed hat, tilted to one side, disclosed his curled and pomaded hair besprinkled with powdery snow. “Yes, indeed, that’s a true sage,” thought Pierre. “He sees nothing beyond the pleasure of the moment, nothing troubles him and so he is always cheerful, satisfied, and serene. What wouldn’t I give to be like him!” he thought enviously. In Márya Dmítrievna’s anteroom the footman who helped him off with his fur coat said that the mistress asked him to come to her bedroom. When he opened the ballroom door Pierre saw Natásha sitting at the window, with a thin, pale, and spiteful face. She glanced round at him, frowned, and left the room with an expression of cold dignity. “What has happened?” asked Pierre, entering Márya Dmítrievna’s room. “Fine doings!” answered Dmítrievna. “For fifty-eight years have I lived in this world and never known anything so disgraceful!” And having put him on his honor not to repeat anything she told him, Márya Dmítrievna informed him that Natásha had refused Prince Andrew without her parents’ knowledge and that the cause of this was Anatole Kurágin into whose society Pierre’s wife had thrown her and with whom Natásha had tried to elope during her father’s absence, in order to be married secretly. Pierre raised his shoulders and listened open-mouthed to what was told him, scarcely able to believe his own ears. That Prince Andrew’s deeply loved affianced wife—the same Natásha Rostóva who used to be so charming—should give up Bolkónski...
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Intelligence Amplifier™ Analysis
The Road of Misreading Desperation
When overwhelmed by shame, people often appear cold or cruel while actually protecting themselves from further emotional damage.
Why This Matters
Connect literature to life
This chapter teaches how to recognize when someone's cold or difficult behavior is actually a protective response to overwhelming shame or pain.
Practice This Today
This week, notice when someone seems unusually formal or distant after a mistake—before judging them as heartless, ask yourself if they might be protecting themselves from further hurt.
Now let's explore the literary elements.
Terms to Know
Elopement
When a couple runs away to marry secretly, usually without family permission. In 19th century Russia, this was scandalous and could ruin a woman's reputation forever. It meant abandoning social expectations and family honor.
Modern Usage:
Today we see this when couples have destination weddings or courthouse ceremonies to avoid family drama or expensive weddings.
Betrothal
A formal engagement that was legally binding in aristocratic society. Breaking a betrothal was considered almost as serious as divorce. Families arranged these matches for social and financial advantage.
Modern Usage:
Similar to how some cultures still arrange marriages, or how breaking an engagement today can involve legal issues over rings, deposits, and shared property.
Social ruin
When scandal destroyed a person's standing in society. For women especially, one wrong move could make them unmarriageable and unwelcome in respectable homes. The consequences lasted for life.
Modern Usage:
Like how viral social media scandals can destroy careers and reputations, or how certain mistakes follow people forever in small towns.
Military dandy
Young officers who cared more about fashion and parties than duty. They wore elaborate uniforms, spent money freely, and often seduced women for sport. They represented privilege without responsibility.
Modern Usage:
Think of influencers or trust fund kids who live for appearances and drama, using their status to manipulate others.
Honor culture
A social system where family reputation mattered more than individual happiness. Insults or scandals required public response, often through duels. Men were expected to defend their family's name with violence if necessary.
Modern Usage:
Still exists in communities where family shame affects everyone, or where disrespect requires a public response to maintain credibility.
Arranged marriage
Marriages planned by families for social, political, or financial benefit rather than love. The couple's feelings were secondary to family advantage. This was normal practice among the wealthy.
Modern Usage:
Still common in many cultures, or similar to how some people marry for financial security, citizenship, or family pressure rather than love.
Characters in This Chapter
Pierre
Conflicted friend and messenger
Returns to Moscow trying to avoid Natasha because his feelings for her are inappropriate. Gets pulled into delivering the devastating news about Anatole's secret marriage. Struggles between judging Natasha harshly and understanding her pain.
Modern Equivalent:
The friend who has to tell you your partner is cheating
Natasha
Fallen woman seeking redemption
Has broken her engagement and attempted to elope with Anatole. Appears cold and dignified but is actually drowning in shame and despair. Her world crumbles when she learns Anatole was already married.
Modern Equivalent:
The young woman who got involved with the wrong guy and now faces the consequences
Anatole Kuragin
Charming predator
The seducer who convinced Natasha to abandon her engagement. Already secretly married, making his pursuit of her meaningless manipulation. Represents selfish charm that destroys others.
Modern Equivalent:
The player who lies about being single to hook up with committed women
Marya Dmitrievna
Family protector and truth-teller
Summons Pierre to help handle the crisis. Acts as the family's damage control, trying to protect Natasha while dealing with the scandal's fallout.
Modern Equivalent:
The family matriarch who handles crises and delivers hard truths
Prince Andrew
Absent betrayed fiancé
Natasha's former betrothed who is away and unaware of the scandal. His absence creates space for the crisis to unfold, and his potential return threatens violence.
Modern Equivalent:
The deployed soldier whose girlfriend cheats while he's overseas
Key Quotes & Analysis
"If only Prince Andrew would hurry up and come and marry her!"
Context: Pierre's thoughts as he tries to avoid his inappropriate feelings for Natasha
Shows how Pierre recognizes his feelings are wrong but hopes Andrew's return will solve the problem. Reveals his internal conflict between desire and loyalty to his friend.
In Today's Words:
I wish she'd just get married already so I can stop having these feelings
"They are all alike"
Context: Pierre's bitter reaction when he first hears about Natasha's betrayal
Pierre lumps Natasha together with his unfaithful wife, showing how betrayal makes us paint everyone with the same brush. This is his defense mechanism against disappointment.
In Today's Words:
All women are the same - they all cheat
"What can have happened? And what can they want with me?"
Context: Pierre's thoughts when summoned urgently by Marya Dmitrievna
Shows Pierre's anxiety and confusion about being pulled into drama. He senses something serious has happened but doesn't want to be involved.
In Today's Words:
Oh no, what's the emergency now and why are they dragging me into it?
Thematic Threads
Judgment
In This Chapter
Pierre initially judges Natasha harshly, thinking 'they are all alike' before recognizing her true despair
Development
Building from earlier themes of first impressions and social appearances
In Your Life:
You might catch yourself writing someone off based on their worst moment instead of seeing their whole story
Shame
In This Chapter
Natasha's dignified coldness masks overwhelming shame about her failed elopement attempt
Development
Introduced here as a driving force behind seemingly inexplicable behavior
In Your Life:
You might recognize times when your own defensive behavior pushed people away when you most needed support
Truth-telling
In This Chapter
Pierre must deliver the painful truth about Anatole's secret marriage to devastated Natasha
Development
Continues the theme of difficult conversations and moral obligations
In Your Life:
You might face moments when being a true friend means saying what someone needs to hear, not what they want to hear
Consequences
In This Chapter
One impulsive decision threatens to destroy multiple lives through potential duels and social ruin
Development
Expanding from individual choices to show ripple effects across relationships
In Your Life:
You might see how one person's crisis can spiral outward, affecting everyone who cares about them
Friendship
In This Chapter
Pierre's loyalty is tested as he navigates between protecting Natasha and delivering harsh realities
Development
Deepening exploration of what true friendship requires beyond pleasant social interaction
In Your Life:
You might recognize that real friendship sometimes means being the messenger of difficult truths
You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.
Discussion Questions
- 1
What news does Pierre learn about Natasha, and why is it so devastating?
analysis • surface - 2
Why does Pierre initially judge Natasha as being 'like all the others,' and what changes his mind?
analysis • medium - 3
Think about someone you've known who seemed cold or distant during a crisis. Could they have been protecting themselves from shame or pain?
application • medium - 4
When someone you care about makes a terrible mistake, how do you balance honesty with compassion in your response?
application • deep - 5
What does this chapter reveal about the difference between how people appear on the surface and what they're actually feeling inside?
reflection • deep
Critical Thinking Exercise
Decode the Protective Shell
Think of someone in your life who seems cold, distant, or difficult right now. Write down their behavior that bothers you. Then brainstorm three possible hidden emotions or fears that might be driving that behavior. What would change about your response if you assumed they were protecting themselves rather than attacking you?
Consider:
- •People often use distance or formality as emotional armor when they feel vulnerable
- •What looks like cruelty might actually be someone barely holding themselves together
- •Your response can either reinforce their protective shell or help them feel safe enough to drop it
Journaling Prompt
Write about a time when you put up a protective shell after making a mistake or feeling ashamed. How did people's reactions affect whether you felt safe enough to be vulnerable again?
Coming Up Next...
Chapter 165: Pierre Confronts Anatole
In the next chapter, you'll discover to confront someone who has wronged you without losing control, and learn protecting the innocent sometimes requires difficult conversations. These insights reveal timeless patterns that resonate in our own lives and relationships.