Summary
Pierre continues his spiritual journey through the Freemasons, recording his daily struggles in a personal diary. His entries reveal a man desperately trying to live up to his ideals while battling very human weaknesses. He serves on government committees, tries to moderate his eating and drinking, and attempts to control his temper and judgmental nature. When he sponsors Boris Drubetskoy's admission to the Masonic lodge, Pierre is disturbed by his own feelings of hatred and suspicion toward the young man, sensing Boris's insincerity and social climbing motives. Pierre's internal conflict intensifies as he struggles with anger, remembering past humiliations and lashing out at Boris despite his spiritual commitments. His dreams become increasingly symbolic and troubling, featuring attacking dogs that represent his passions, spiritual guides leading him toward virtue, and his deceased mentor Joseph Alexéevich appearing with cryptic messages about conjugal duties and spiritual regeneration. The final dream entry reveals Pierre's ongoing battle with what he calls 'debauchery,' suggesting deeper struggles with desire and spiritual purity. Through these intimate diary entries, Tolstoy shows how genuine spiritual seeking involves confronting uncomfortable truths about ourselves, including our capacity for self-deception, judgment, and contradiction between our ideals and actions.
Coming Up in Chapter 117
Pierre's spiritual struggles continue to evolve as external events begin to intrude on his inner journey. The larger world of Russian society and politics will soon demand his attention in ways he cannot ignore.
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An excerpt from the original text.(~500 words)
Pierre went on with his diary, and this is what he wrote in it during that time: 24th November Got up at eight, read the Scriptures, then went to my duties. (By Joseph Alexéevich’s advice Pierre had entered the service of the state and served on one of the committees.) Returned home for dinner and dined alone—the countess had many visitors I do not like. I ate and drank moderately and after dinner copied out some passages for the Brothers. In the evening I went down to the countess and told a funny story about B., and only remembered that I ought not to have done so when everybody laughed loudly at it. I am going to bed with a happy and tranquil mind. Great God, help me to walk in Thy paths, (1) to conquer anger by calmness and deliberation, (2) to vanquish lust by self-restraint and repulsion, (3) to withdraw from worldliness, but not avoid (a) the service of the state, (b) family duties, (c) relations with my friends, and the management of my affairs. 27th November I got up late. On waking I lay long in bed yielding to sloth. O God, help and strengthen me that I may walk in Thy ways! Read the Scriptures, but without proper feeling. Brother Urúsov came and we talked about worldly vanities. He told me of the Emperor’s new projects. I began to criticize them, but remembered my rules and my benefactor’s words—that a true Freemason should be a zealous worker for the state when his aid is required and a quiet onlooker when not called on to assist. My tongue is my enemy. Brothers G. V. and O. visited me and we had a preliminary talk about the reception of a new Brother. They laid on me the duty of Rhetor. I feel myself weak and unworthy. Then our talk turned to the interpretation of the seven pillars and steps of the Temple, the seven sciences, the seven virtues, the seven vices, and the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit. Brother O. was very eloquent. In the evening the admission took place. The new decoration of the Premises contributed much to the magnificence of the spectacle. It was Borís Drubetskóy who was admitted. I nominated him and was the Rhetor. A strange feeling agitated me all the time I was alone with him in the dark chamber. I caught myself harboring a feeling of hatred toward him which I vainly tried to overcome. That is why I should really like to save him from evil and lead him into the path of truth, but evil thoughts of him did not leave me. It seemed to me that his object in entering the Brotherhood was merely to be intimate and in favor with members of our lodge. Apart from the fact that he had asked me several times whether N. and S. were members of our lodge (a question to which I could not reply) and that according to my...
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Intelligence Amplifier™ Analysis
The Road of Spiritual Performance
Trying to perform ideal behavior instead of developing genuine virtue creates internal conflict and prevents real growth.
Why This Matters
Connect literature to life
This chapter teaches how to recognize when someone (including yourself) uses spiritual or self-improvement language to avoid dealing with real emotions and conflicts.
Practice This Today
This week, notice when you or others use phrases like 'I'm working on myself' or 'everything happens for a reason' to shut down difficult conversations or avoid taking action.
Now let's explore the literary elements.
Terms to Know
Freemasonry
A secret society that emerged in the 18th century, claiming to promote moral and spiritual development through rituals, symbols, and brotherhood. Members believed they could achieve enlightenment through study and self-improvement. In Russia, it attracted nobles seeking meaning beyond court life.
Modern Usage:
Today we see similar patterns in self-help groups, spiritual communities, or professional networking organizations that promise personal transformation through exclusive membership and special knowledge.
Spiritual diary
A personal journal focused on recording one's moral struggles, spiritual progress, and attempts at self-improvement. Pierre uses his to track his daily battles with temptation and measure his growth as a person.
Modern Usage:
This is like modern journaling apps, gratitude journals, or habit trackers where people monitor their personal development and hold themselves accountable.
Benefactor
In Masonic terms, an experienced member who guides and mentors a newcomer. Joseph Alexéevich serves as Pierre's spiritual guide, teaching him the principles and practices of the lodge.
Modern Usage:
Similar to a sponsor in AA, a mentor at work, or a life coach - someone who's been through the process and helps guide others on their journey.
Worldly vanities
Material pleasures, social status, gossip, and superficial concerns that distract from spiritual growth. Pierre struggles to avoid these while still participating in society.
Modern Usage:
Today this might be social media drama, keeping up with trends, celebrity gossip, or getting caught up in status symbols instead of focusing on what really matters.
Self-examination
The practice of honestly looking at your own thoughts, motivations, and behaviors to identify flaws and areas for improvement. Pierre does this through his diary entries.
Modern Usage:
This is what therapists encourage, what mindfulness practices promote, or what happens during honest conversations with close friends about your patterns and blind spots.
Conjugal duties
The obligations and responsibilities that come with marriage, including physical intimacy and emotional partnership. Pierre struggles with these in relation to his spiritual ideals.
Modern Usage:
Today we talk about this as 'working on your relationship,' balancing personal growth with partnership responsibilities, or navigating intimacy while dealing with other life stresses.
Characters in This Chapter
Pierre
Protagonist seeking spiritual transformation
Records his daily struggles in a diary, trying to live up to Masonic ideals while battling very human weaknesses like anger, judgment, and desire. His honest self-examination reveals the gap between his spiritual goals and actual behavior.
Modern Equivalent:
The person earnestly trying to better themselves through self-help, therapy, or spiritual practice but constantly falling short of their own standards
Boris Drubetskoy
Social climber seeking Masonic membership
Wants to join the Freemasons, but Pierre senses his motives are insincere and self-serving rather than genuinely spiritual. This triggers Pierre's anger and judgment, testing his commitment to brotherly love.
Modern Equivalent:
The networking opportunist who joins groups or causes not from genuine belief but to advance their career or social status
Brother Urúsov
Fellow Freemason and friend
Visits Pierre and engages him in conversation about worldly matters and the Emperor's projects, inadvertently tempting Pierre away from his spiritual focus and into gossip and criticism.
Modern Equivalent:
The friend who always brings drama or political arguments that pull you back into negative thinking patterns you're trying to avoid
Joseph Alexéevich
Deceased Masonic mentor
Appears in Pierre's dreams as a spiritual guide, offering cryptic advice about conjugal duties and spiritual regeneration. Even in death, he continues to influence Pierre's spiritual development.
Modern Equivalent:
The mentor or teacher whose wisdom you still hear in your head long after they're gone, guiding your decisions in difficult moments
The Countess
Pierre's social obligation
Represents the worldly social life Pierre tries to avoid but cannot completely escape. Her many visitors embody the 'worldly vanities' he struggles to resist.
Modern Equivalent:
The family member or social obligation that keeps pulling you back into drama or superficial concerns when you're trying to focus on personal growth
Key Quotes & Analysis
"Great God, help me to walk in Thy paths, (1) to conquer anger by calmness and deliberation, (2) to vanquish lust by self-restraint and repulsion, (3) to withdraw from worldliness"
Context: Pierre writes this prayer in his diary as he outlines his spiritual goals
This reveals Pierre's systematic approach to self-improvement and his recognition of his specific weaknesses. He's trying to create concrete strategies for spiritual growth, but the formal language suggests he's still somewhat disconnected from the reality of change.
In Today's Words:
God, help me stay calm instead of getting angry, control my desires, and not get caught up in superficial stuff
"I began to criticize them, but remembered my rules and my benefactor's words—that a true Freemason should be a zealous worker for the state"
Context: Pierre catches himself criticizing the Emperor's projects during conversation with Brother Urúsov
This shows Pierre's genuine attempt to change his habitual patterns of judgment and criticism. He's developing self-awareness and trying to apply his spiritual principles to real situations, though it's clearly a struggle.
In Today's Words:
I started talking trash about the government's plans, but then remembered I'm supposed to be supportive, not critical
"I felt hatred and could not conquer it"
Context: Pierre writes about his reaction to Boris seeking Masonic membership
Pierre's brutal honesty about his inability to control his emotions despite his spiritual aspirations. This admission reveals the genuine difficulty of personal transformation and the gap between intention and execution.
In Today's Words:
I really couldn't stand this guy and couldn't make myself feel differently, no matter how hard I tried
Thematic Threads
Identity
In This Chapter
Pierre struggles between his authentic self and his idealized Masonic identity, creating exhausting internal conflict
Development
Evolved from earlier external identity crises to deeper internal spiritual performance
In Your Life:
You might recognize this when you're exhausted from being 'the good one' at work or in your family.
Social Expectations
In This Chapter
The Masonic brotherhood expects Pierre to embody perfect virtue while Boris exploits these same expectations for advancement
Development
Expanded from aristocratic social climbing to spiritual/moral social climbing
In Your Life:
You see this in any group where people perform goodness for status rather than genuine growth.
Personal Growth
In This Chapter
Pierre's diary reveals the gap between spiritual performance and actual development, showing growth requires accepting human complexity
Development
Deepened from external changes to internal spiritual work and its contradictions
In Your Life:
You experience this when self-improvement efforts make you more judgmental rather than more compassionate.
Human Relationships
In This Chapter
Pierre's accurate instincts about Boris's manipulation are undermined by his spiritual performance requirements
Development
Continued exploration of how idealism can blind us to relationship realities
In Your Life:
You might ignore red flags about someone because you think 'good people' should trust everyone.
You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.
Discussion Questions
- 1
What specific behaviors is Pierre trying to change through his diary tracking, and what does this reveal about his approach to self-improvement?
analysis • surface - 2
Why does Pierre feel conflicted about his negative feelings toward Boris, and how does this create a cycle of self-judgment?
analysis • medium - 3
Where do you see people today performing virtue or wellness instead of actually developing it - in workplaces, social media, or personal relationships?
application • medium - 4
How can someone tell the difference between authentic personal growth and just performing the appearance of improvement?
application • deep - 5
What does Pierre's struggle suggest about the relationship between self-monitoring and genuine character development?
reflection • deep
Critical Thinking Exercise
Track Your Performance vs. Progress
Make two lists: behaviors you track or monitor about yourself (diet, mood, productivity, etc.) and genuine skills or wisdom you've developed over time. Look for patterns - which tracking actually leads to growth, and which just creates performance pressure? Consider one area where you might be performing virtue instead of developing it.
Consider:
- •Notice if your self-monitoring creates shame cycles rather than actual improvement
- •Ask whether you're developing skills or just suppressing natural responses
- •Consider if your energy goes toward appearing good or becoming more capable
Journaling Prompt
Write about a time when trying to be 'good' in someone else's eyes prevented you from trusting your own instincts about a situation. What would have happened if you'd honored your authentic response?
Coming Up Next...
Chapter 117: The Business of Marriage
The coming pages reveal social status shifts when you change environments, and teach us financial desperation makes families compromise their values. These discoveries help us navigate similar situations in our own lives.