Summary
Smith explores why we're disgusted when people openly display bodily needs like hunger or sexual desire, even though these are universal human experiences. The answer lies in our inability to truly share these physical sensations with others. When someone eats ravenously or cries out in pain, we can't feel what they feel, so we judge them as weak or improper. This creates a social rule: keep your bodily needs private. Smith contrasts this with emotional pain, which gets far more sympathy. We can imagine heartbreak or financial ruin because our minds can mirror another person's thoughts and fears. But we can't mirror their hunger pangs or toothache. That's why a broken heart makes for great drama, but a stomachache doesn't. Smith also explains why we admire people who endure physical pain silently. The person who doesn't cry out during torture commands our respect because they're matching our natural indifference to their suffering. They're not asking us to feel something we can't feel. This reveals something uncomfortable about human nature: we're more moved by imaginary suffering than real physical pain. A fictional tragedy about lost love affects us more than watching someone's actual medical procedure. Smith shows how social approval often depends not on what we feel, but on how well we hide what others can't share.
Coming Up in Chapter 7
Next, Smith examines the flip side: those emotions that spring purely from our imagination and thoughts. These passions of the mind follow completely different rules and earn very different reactions from others.
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An excerpt from the original text.(~500 words)
Of the passions which take their origin from the body. 1. It is indecent to express any strong degree of those passions which arise from a certain situation or disposition of the body; because the company, not being in the same disposition, cannot be expected to sympathize with them. Violent hunger, for example, though upon many occasions not only natural, but unavoidable, is always indecent, and to eat voraciously is universally regarded as a piece of ill manners. There is, however, some degree of sympathy, even with hunger. It is agreeable to see our companions eat with a good appetite, and all 35expressions of loathing are offensive. The disposition of body which is habitual to a man in health, makes his stomach easily keep time, if I may be allowed so coarse an expression, with the one, and not with the other. We can sympathize with the distress which excessive hunger occasions when we read the description of it in the journal of a siege, or of a sea voyage. We imagine ourselves in the situation of the sufferers, and thence readily conceive the grief, the fear and consternation, which must necessarily distract them. We feel, ourselves, some degree of those passions, and therefore sympathize with them: but as we do not grow hungry by reading the description, we cannot properly, even in this case, be said to sympathize with their hunger. It is the same case with the passion by which Nature unites the two sexes. Though naturally the most furious of all passions, all strong expressions of it are upon every occasion indecent, even between persons in whom its most complete indulgence is acknowledged by all laws, both human and divine, to be perfectly innocent. There seems, however, to be some degree of sympathy even with this passion. To talk to a woman as we should to a man is improper: it is expected that their company should inspire us with more gaiety, more pleasantry, and more attention; and an entire insensibility to the fair sex, renders a man contemptible in some measure even to the men. Such is our aversion for all the appetites which take their origin from the body: all strong expressions of them are loathsome and disagreeable. According 36to some ancient philosophers, these are the passions which we share in common with the brutes, and which having no connexion with the characteristical qualities of human nature, are upon that account beneath its dignity. But there are many other passions which we share in common with the brutes, such as resentment, natural affection, even gratitude, which do not, upon that account, appear to be so brutal. The true cause of the peculiar disgust which we conceive for the appetites of the body when we see them in other men, is that we cannot enter into them. To the person himself who feels them, as soon as they are gratified, the object that excited them ceases to be agreeable: even its presence often becomes offensive to...
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Intelligence Amplifier™ Analysis
The Road of Hidden Struggle - Why We Suffer Alone
People only sympathize with suffering they can mentally simulate, leaving physical and practical struggles invisible and unsupported.
Why This Matters
Connect literature to life
This chapter teaches you to recognize when and why people show compassion versus judgment based on their ability to mentally simulate someone else's experience.
Practice This Today
This week, notice when you feel more sympathy for emotional problems than physical ones, and catch yourself making assumptions about others' 'real' versus 'performed' struggles.
Now let's explore the literary elements.
Terms to Know
Sympathy
Smith's technical term for our ability to imagine ourselves in someone else's situation and feel what they might feel. It's not just pity - it's mental projection. We literally try to put ourselves in their shoes and experience their emotions secondhand.
Modern Usage:
This is why we cry at movies but scroll past real suffering on social media - we can sympathize with imaginary heartbreak but not actual physical pain.
Bodily passions
Physical needs and sensations like hunger, sexual desire, pain, or fatigue. Smith argues these create social awkwardness because others can't truly share these sensations. Your hunger pangs are yours alone - I can't feel them no matter how much I want to understand.
Modern Usage:
This explains why talking about bathroom needs, being hangry, or sexual frustration makes people uncomfortable in social settings.
Indecency
Not just sexual impropriety, but any public display of needs that others can't share or understand. Smith shows that social rules often protect us from having to witness what we can't sympathize with.
Modern Usage:
Like how we judge people who eat messily in public, complain constantly about being tired, or overshare about their medical problems.
Propriety
Matching your emotional expression to what observers can reasonably be expected to feel along with you. It's not about suppressing all feeling, but about calibrating your display to your audience's capacity for sympathy.
Modern Usage:
This is why we respect people who 'keep it together' during crisis and judge those who seem to fall apart over minor inconveniences.
Spectator
Smith's term for anyone observing another person's situation. Not just literal watchers, but anyone trying to judge whether someone's reaction is appropriate. We're all spectators of each other's lives, constantly evaluating and being evaluated.
Modern Usage:
Everyone on social media is both performer and spectator, judging others' posts while crafting their own image for judgment.
Natural disposition
The default state of someone who isn't experiencing the particular need or sensation. Smith argues we judge from our position of not being hungry, not being in pain, not being sexually aroused - which makes us naturally unsympathetic to those states.
Modern Usage:
This is why people without depression tell others to 'just think positive' or why the well-rested judge the exhausted as lazy.
Characters in This Chapter
The voracious eater
Negative example
Smith uses this person to show how displaying bodily needs publicly violates social norms. Their hunger is real and understandable, but their public display of it makes others uncomfortable because observers can't share the sensation.
Modern Equivalent:
The coworker who loudly complains about being hungry during meetings
The siege sufferers
Sympathetic victims
People described in journals who faced extreme hunger during wartime. Smith notes we can sympathize with their fear and desperation (emotions we can imagine) but not their actual hunger pangs (physical sensations we can't share).
Modern Equivalent:
Disaster victims we see on the news - we feel for their trauma but not their physical discomfort
The silent sufferer
Heroic ideal
Someone who endures physical pain without crying out or demanding sympathy. Smith argues we admire them because they don't ask us to feel what we can't feel - they match our natural indifference to their bodily experience.
Modern Equivalent:
The person who works through illness without complaining or posting about it online
Key Quotes & Analysis
"Violent hunger, though upon many occasions not only natural, but unavoidable, is always indecent, and to eat voraciously is universally regarded as a piece of ill manners."
Context: Smith explaining why we judge people for displaying bodily needs publicly
This reveals how social rules often contradict natural human needs. Even when hunger is completely justified, society still demands we hide it. Smith shows that 'good manners' often means protecting others from witnessing what they can't sympathize with.
In Today's Words:
Even when you're starving, scarfing down food in public makes people uncomfortable and judge you as lacking self-control.
"We can sympathize with the distress which excessive hunger occasions when we read the description of it in the journal of a siege, but as we do not grow hungry by reading the description, we cannot properly be said to sympathize with their hunger."
Context: Distinguishing between sympathizing with emotions versus physical sensations
Smith makes a crucial distinction here - we can feel someone's fear or desperation because those are mental states we can imagine, but we can't actually feel their physical hunger. This explains why emotional suffering gets more sympathy than physical pain.
In Today's Words:
You can feel bad for someone's anxiety about being broke, but you can't actually feel their empty stomach growling.
"The company, not being in the same disposition, cannot be expected to sympathize with them."
Context: Explaining why bodily passions make others uncomfortable
This is Smith's core insight about human social psychology - we can only sympathize with what we can imagine experiencing ourselves. When someone displays a physical need we don't currently have, we naturally withdraw our sympathy.
In Today's Words:
If you're not feeling what they're feeling, you can't really understand it, so their display of need just makes you uncomfortable.
Thematic Threads
Social Expectations
In This Chapter
Society demands we hide bodily needs and physical struggles to maintain social approval
Development
Builds on earlier chapters about performing for others' approval
In Your Life:
You might find yourself apologizing for being tired, hungry, or in pain because others can't relate to physical needs
Class
In This Chapter
Physical laborers must hide exhaustion and pain while knowledge workers can openly discuss mental fatigue
Development
Expands the class theme to show how different types of suffering get different social treatment
In Your Life:
Your job might value mental stress over physical demands, making your real challenges invisible
Human Relationships
In This Chapter
Relationships suffer when partners can't empathize with each other's different types of pain and need
Development
Deepens relationship dynamics by showing the limits of human sympathy
In Your Life:
You might feel closest to people who share similar physical experiences because they don't need explanations
Identity
In This Chapter
We define strength as suffering silently, creating false identities around enduring what others can't see
Development
Continues identity themes by showing how we perform strength for social acceptance
In Your Life:
You might pride yourself on 'pushing through' pain, not realizing this performance costs you real support
Personal Growth
In This Chapter
True wisdom means recognizing the limits of human empathy and finding appropriate support systems
Development
Introduced here as a new dimension of self-awareness
In Your Life:
Growing up might mean stopping the performance of strength and finding people who understand your real struggles
You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.
Discussion Questions
- 1
According to Smith, why do we judge someone for eating messily in public but feel sympathy for someone going through a breakup?
analysis • surface - 2
Why does Smith say we admire people who endure physical pain silently, even though staying quiet doesn't actually reduce their suffering?
analysis • medium - 3
Where do you see this empathy gap playing out today - people getting more sympathy for struggles others can imagine versus struggles they can't?
application • medium - 4
If you had a chronic illness or disability, how would you navigate a workplace that gives mental health days but questions physical limitations?
application • deep - 5
What does Smith's observation reveal about the difference between performing strength and actually being strong?
reflection • deep
Critical Thinking Exercise
Map Your Sympathy Blind Spots
Think of three people in your life dealing with ongoing challenges. For each person, write down whether their struggle is something you can mentally simulate or not. Notice which ones you find easier to support and which ones you might unconsciously judge or avoid. This exercise reveals your own empathy gaps and helps you become a more intentional supporter.
Consider:
- •Physical struggles (chronic pain, fatigue, illness) versus emotional ones (anxiety, heartbreak, stress)
- •How your own life experiences shape what you can and cannot imagine
- •The difference between understanding someone's situation intellectually versus feeling moved to help
Journaling Prompt
Write about a time when you felt like others didn't understand or believe your struggle. What did you need from them that you didn't get? How can you offer that same understanding to others facing invisible challenges?
Coming Up Next...
Chapter 7: Why We Can't Connect with Love
The coming pages reveal other people's romantic feelings seem ridiculous to us, and teach us to recognize when your passions might alienate others. These discoveries help us navigate similar situations in our own lives.