An excerpt from the original text.(complete · 684 words)
HAT WE ARE TO AVOID PLEASURES, EVEN AT THE EXPENSE OF LIFE
I had long ago observed most of the opinions of the ancients to concur in
this, that it is high time to die when there is more ill than good in
living, and that to preserve life to our own torment and inconvenience is
contrary to the very rules of nature, as these old laws instruct us.
[“Either tranquil life, or happy death. It is well to die when life
is wearisome. It is better to die than to live miserable.”
--Stobaeus, Serm. xx.]
But to push this contempt of death so far as to employ it to the removing
our thoughts from the honours, riches, dignities, and other favours and
goods, as we call them, of fortune, as if reason were not sufficient to
persuade us to avoid them, without adding this new injunction, I had
never seen it either commanded or practised, till this passage of Seneca
fell into my hands; who advising Lucilius, a man of great power and
authority about the emperor, to alter his voluptuous and magnificent way
of living, and to retire himself from this worldly vanity and ambition,
to some solitary, quiet, and philosophical life, and the other alleging
some difficulties: “I am of opinion,” says he, “either that thou leave
that life of thine, or life itself; I would, indeed, advise thee to the
gentle way, and to untie, rather than to break, the knot thou hast
indiscreetly knit, provided, that if it be not otherwise to be untied,
thou resolutely break it. There is no man so great a coward, that had
not rather once fall than to be always falling.” I should have found
this counsel conformable enough to the Stoical roughness: but it appears
the more strange, for being borrowed from Epicurus, who writes the same
thing upon the like occasion to Idomeneus. And I think I have observed
something like it, but with Christian moderation, amongst our own people.
St. Hilary, Bishop of Poictiers, that famous enemy of the Arian heresy,
being in Syria, had intelligence thither sent him, that Abra, his only
daughter, whom he left at home under the eye and tuition of her mother,
was sought in marriage by the greatest noblemen of the country, as being
a virgin virtuously brought up, fair, rich, and in the flower of her age;
whereupon he wrote to her (as appears upon record), that she should
remove her affection from all the pleasures and advantages proposed to
her; for that he had in his travels found out a much greater and more
worthy fortune for her, a husband of much greater power and magnificence,
who would present her with robes and jewels of inestimable value; wherein
his design was to dispossess her of the appetite and use of worldly
delights, to join her wholly to God; but the nearest and most certain way
to this, being, as he conceived, the death of his daughter; he never
ceased, by vows, prayers, and orisons, to beg of the Almighty, that He
would please to call her out of this world, and to take her to Himself;
as accordingly it came to pass; for soon after his return, she died, at
which he expressed a singular joy. This seems to outdo the other,
forasmuch as he applies himself to this means at the outset, which they
only take subsidiarily; and, besides, it was towards his only daughter.
But I will not omit the latter end of this story, though it be for my
purpose; St. Hilary’s wife, having understood from him how the death of
their daughter was brought about by his desire and design, and how much
happier she was to be removed out of this world than to have stayed in
it, conceived so vivid an apprehension of the eternal and heavenly
beatitude, that she begged of her husband, with the extremest
importunity, to do as much for her; and God, at their joint request,
shortly after calling her to Him, it was a death embraced with singular
and mutual content.
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Let's Analyse the Pattern
Crisis forces us to choose what we value most, revealing our true priorities by making compromise impossible.
Why This Matters
Connect literature to life
This chapter teaches how to spot situations where trying to have everything means losing what matters most.
Practice This Today
This week, notice when someone offers you a 'solution' that requires abandoning your core principles—usually it's not really a solution.
Now let's explore the literary elements.
Key Quotes & Analysis
"I am of opinion that thou either leave that life of thine, or life itself"
Context: Advising Lucilius to abandon his luxurious lifestyle for philosophical living
This shocking ultimatum shows how seriously philosophers took moral choices. Seneca isn't being cruel but highlighting that some compromises aren't worth making if they destroy your integrity.
In Today's Words:
Either completely change how you're living, or what's the point of living at all?
"It is high time to die when there is more ill than good in living"
Context: Establishing the principle that life isn't worth preserving at any cost
This challenges our modern assumption that life is always precious. It suggests that quality matters more than quantity, and that clinging to miserable existence isn't virtuous.
In Today's Words:
When your life sucks more than it doesn't, maybe it's time to go.
"Either tranquil life, or happy death"
Context: Summarizing the ancient view that peace in life or peace in death are both acceptable
This presents death not as failure but as one of two good options. It removes the desperate fear that makes people accept terrible conditions just to keep breathing.
In Today's Words:
Live peacefully or die peacefully - both beat living miserably.
Thematic Threads
Values
In This Chapter
Montaigne examines how extreme situations force people to choose between competing values, revealing what they truly prioritize
Development
Introduced here
In Your Life:
You might recognize this when facing a decision that forces you to choose between security and integrity, or comfort and principle.
Social Expectations
In This Chapter
The wealthy Roman is expected to enjoy his luxury, St. Hilary's daughter should want marriage and worldly success, yet both stories challenge these assumptions
Development
Continues theme from earlier chapters
In Your Life:
You see this when society tells you to want something that feels wrong for your situation or values.
Sacrifice
In This Chapter
Characters make extreme sacrifices—wealth, comfort, even life—for higher principles they believe in
Development
Introduced here
In Your Life:
You might face this when protecting what matters most requires giving up something everyone else thinks you should want.
Belief Systems
In This Chapter
Different philosophies and religions lead to similar conclusions about what's worth living or dying for
Development
Introduced here
In Your Life:
You experience this when your personal beliefs conflict with what your family, workplace, or community expects from you.
Judgment
In This Chapter
Montaigne presents extreme examples without condemning them, exploring how sincere beliefs can lead to actions others find shocking
Development
Continues from earlier chapters
In Your Life:
You see this when you have to make decisions others don't understand, even when you know they're right for you.
You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.
Discussion Questions
- 1
What did Seneca tell the wealthy Roman to do, and what was St. Hilary's shocking decision about his daughter?
analysis • surface - 2
Why did these men believe that death was preferable to certain ways of living?
analysis • medium - 3
Where do you see people today making extreme choices to protect what they value most - walking away from money, status, or comfort?
application • medium - 4
When have you faced a moment where you had to choose between what looked good to others and what felt right to you?
reflection • deep - 5
What does this chapter reveal about how crisis forces us to discover our true priorities?
reflection • deep
Critical Thinking Exercise
Map Your Values Under Pressure
Think of a time when you felt pulled in different directions - maybe between a job opportunity and family time, or between fitting in and standing up for someone. Write down what you were being asked to choose between, then identify what value was most important to you in that moment. How did recognizing that core value help clarify your decision?
Consider:
- •Crisis doesn't create your values - it reveals them
- •The choice that feels hardest often protects what matters most
- •Sometimes saying no to good things protects what's essential
Journaling Prompt
Write about a decision you're facing now where you feel torn. What would happen if you could only protect one thing that matters to you? What does that tell you about your true priorities?
Coming Up Next...
Chapter 33: When Fortune Plays by Its Own Rules
After exploring death as life's ultimate decision-maker, Montaigne turns to examine how fortune and fate seem to follow their own mysterious logic. Sometimes what looks like random chance reveals surprising patterns of reason.




