Summary
Kitty Shcherbatsky sits in her family's drawing room, nervously awaiting what she believes will be Vronsky's proposal. She's dressed in her finest gown, heart racing with anticipation as she imagines her future as a countess. But when Vronsky arrives, something feels off. He's polite but distant, making small talk instead of declaring his love. The evening drags on painfully as Kitty realizes with growing horror that he's not going to propose at all. When he finally leaves, she's left devastated and humiliated. This chapter captures that brutal moment when our expectations crash into reality. Kitty had built an entire future in her mind based on what she thought were clear signals from Vronsky, but she misread the situation completely. Tolstoy shows us how young women of this era were taught to interpret male attention as romantic interest, leaving them vulnerable to crushing disappointment. The scene also reveals Vronsky's character - he's not deliberately cruel, but he's careless with other people's feelings. He enjoyed Kitty's admiration without considering the hopes he was raising. This moment will reshape Kitty's entire understanding of herself and love. It's a coming-of-age experience disguised as a social disaster, the kind that teaches us painful but necessary lessons about reading people and managing our own expectations. For working-class readers, this resonates with any time we've misread a situation at work or in relationships, building up hopes only to have them crushed by reality.
Coming Up in Chapter 20
The fallout from Vronsky's rejection spreads through the Shcherbatsky household like wildfire. Kitty's world has just collapsed, and her family scrambles to pick up the pieces while trying to understand what went wrong.
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An excerpt from the original text.(~500 words)
When Anna went into the room, Dolly was sitting in the little drawing-room with a white-headed fat little boy, already like his father, giving him a lesson in French reading. As the boy read, he kept twisting and trying to tear off a button that was nearly off his jacket. His mother had several times taken his hand from it, but the fat little hand went back to the button again. His mother pulled the button off and put it in her pocket. “Keep your hands still, Grisha,” she said, and she took up her work, a coverlet she had long been making. She always set to work on it at depressed moments, and now she knitted at it nervously, twitching her fingers and counting the stitches. Though she had sent word the day before to her husband that it was nothing to her whether his sister came or not, she had made everything ready for her arrival, and was expecting her sister-in-law with emotion. Dolly was crushed by her sorrow, utterly swallowed up by it. Still she did not forget that Anna, her sister-in-law, was the wife of one of the most important personages in Petersburg, and was a Petersburg _grande dame_. And, thanks to this circumstance, she did not carry out her threat to her husband—that is to say, she remembered that her sister-in-law was coming. “And, after all, Anna is in no wise to blame,” thought Dolly. “I know nothing of her except the very best, and I have seen nothing but kindness and affection from her towards myself.” It was true that as far as she could recall her impressions at Petersburg at the Karenins’, she did not like their household itself; there was something artificial in the whole framework of their family life. “But why should I not receive her? If only she doesn’t take it into her head to console me!” thought Dolly. “All consolation and counsel and Christian forgiveness, all that I have thought over a thousand times, and it’s all no use.” All these days Dolly had been alone with her children. She did not want to talk of her sorrow, but with that sorrow in her heart she could not talk of outside matters. She knew that in one way or another she would tell Anna everything, and she was alternately glad at the thought of speaking freely, and angry at the necessity of speaking of her humiliation with her, his sister, and of hearing her ready-made phrases of good advice and comfort. She had been on the lookout for her, glancing at her watch every minute, and, as so often happens, let slip just that minute when her visitor arrived, so that she did not hear the bell. Catching a sound of skirts and light steps at the door, she looked round, and her care-worn face unconsciously expressed not gladness, but wonder. She got up and embraced her sister-in-law. “What, here already!” she said as she kissed her. “Dolly, how...
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Intelligence Amplifier™ Analysis
The Road of Misread Signals
Building elaborate expectations based on misinterpreted signals, leading to inevitable disappointment when reality doesn't match our constructed narrative.
Why This Matters
Connect literature to life
This chapter teaches how to distinguish between genuine opportunity indicators and routine workplace politeness.
Practice This Today
Next time someone at work seems unusually friendly or complimentary, ask yourself what concrete actions back up their words before adjusting your expectations.
Now let's explore the literary elements.
Terms to Know
Drawing room
The formal living room where wealthy families received visitors and conducted social business. This was where important conversations happened and where young women were 'on display' for potential suitors.
Modern Usage:
Like the front room where you meet your daughter's boyfriend for the first time - the space where you put your best foot forward.
Social season
The time of year when wealthy families gathered in the city for parties, balls, and matchmaking. Young women 'came out' into society to find husbands during this period.
Modern Usage:
Similar to how certain times of year are 'wedding season' or 'hiring season' - when everyone's focused on the same goal.
Courtship rituals
The formal process of wooing someone for marriage in 19th century society. There were strict rules about how men and women could interact, with specific signals that indicated serious romantic interest.
Modern Usage:
Like the unspoken rules of dating today - who texts first, what it means when someone introduces you to their friends.
Mixed signals
When someone's words and actions don't match up, leaving the other person confused about their true intentions. Vronsky enjoyed Kitty's attention without meaning to encourage marriage proposals.
Modern Usage:
When your boss acts friendly but never promotes you, or when someone flirts but won't commit to plans.
Social expectations
The unwritten rules about how people should behave based on their class, gender, and age. Kitty was expected to marry well and soon, which created pressure to read romantic interest into every interaction.
Modern Usage:
Like feeling pressure to have kids by a certain age, or to own a house, because 'that's what people do.'
Emotional investment
When we put so much hope and energy into an outcome that we start acting as if it's already guaranteed. Kitty had mentally planned her whole future with Vronsky.
Modern Usage:
Like counting on a job before you get the offer, or planning how you'll spend money you don't have yet.
Characters in This Chapter
Kitty Shcherbatsky
Young protagonist facing romantic disappointment
She's dressed in her finest clothes, waiting for what she believes will be Vronsky's proposal. Her crushing disappointment when he doesn't propose shows how young women were set up for heartbreak by social expectations.
Modern Equivalent:
The girl who gets all dressed up thinking tonight's the night he'll make it official
Count Vronsky
Unintentionally cruel romantic interest
He arrives but acts distant and polite instead of romantic. He's not deliberately mean, but he's been careless about the hopes he's raised in Kitty through his previous attention.
Modern Equivalent:
The guy who acts like your boyfriend but won't define the relationship
Princess Shcherbatsky
Anxious mother
Kitty's mother who has been encouraging her daughter's hopes about Vronsky and is likely as nervous as Kitty about the evening's outcome.
Modern Equivalent:
The mom who's more invested in her daughter's love life than her daughter is
Key Quotes & Analysis
"She felt that all eyes were upon her, and that everyone was waiting for something to happen."
Context: As Kitty sits waiting for Vronsky's visit, dressed in her best gown
This captures the horrible pressure of having your private hopes become public expectations. Everyone in her family knows what tonight is supposed to bring, making her eventual disappointment even more humiliating.
In Today's Words:
When everyone knows you're expecting good news and you have to tell them it didn't happen.
"He spoke to her as he might have spoken to any young lady at a ball."
Context: Describing Vronsky's distant, polite behavior during his visit
This shows how Vronsky treats Kitty like a casual acquaintance rather than someone he's been courting. His formal politeness is actually cruel because it ignores all their previous intimate conversations.
In Today's Words:
He talked to her like she was just some random person, not someone he'd been texting every day.
"The terrible thing was that she could not even be angry with him."
Context: Kitty's realization after Vronsky leaves without proposing
This captures the worst part of being let down by someone who was never actually committed to you. Vronsky never promised anything, so Kitty can't even blame him - she has to face that she misread everything.
In Today's Words:
The worst part was she couldn't even be mad at him because he never actually said he wanted to be with her.
Thematic Threads
Social Expectations
In This Chapter
Kitty expects Vronsky to propose based on his previous attention and social conventions about courtship
Development
Building from earlier chapters where social rules seemed clear and predictable
In Your Life:
When you assume workplace friendliness means job security or mistake professional courtesy for personal interest
Self-Deception
In This Chapter
Kitty convinces herself that Vronsky's polite behavior indicates romantic intention
Development
Introduced here as Kitty's first major reality check
In Your Life:
When you interpret someone's basic kindness as special treatment or read more into situations than actually exists
Class Vulnerability
In This Chapter
Kitty's lower social position makes her vulnerable to misreading signals from higher-status Vronsky
Development
Expanding from previous class dynamics to show how status affects perception
In Your Life:
When you misread signals from supervisors, doctors, or others in authority positions because you want their approval
Coming of Age
In This Chapter
Kitty's painful lesson about reading people and managing expectations marks her transition from naive girl to experienced woman
Development
Introduced here as Kitty's first major life lesson
In Your Life:
When harsh reality teaches you that your assumptions about how the world works were wrong, forcing you to develop better judgment
Emotional Carelessness
In This Chapter
Vronsky enjoys Kitty's attention without considering the hopes he's raising in her
Development
Introduced here, showing how privileged people can be thoughtlessly harmful
In Your Life:
When someone's casual behavior creates expectations in you that they never intended, or when you accidentally do this to others
You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.
Discussion Questions
- 1
What specific signs did Kitty interpret as romantic interest from Vronsky, and how did the evening actually unfold?
analysis • surface - 2
Why did Kitty build such elaborate expectations when Vronsky never actually promised anything concrete?
analysis • medium - 3
Where do you see people today building relationships or career hopes on assumptions rather than clear communication?
application • medium - 4
How would you distinguish between genuine interest and polite attention in your own workplace or social situations?
application • deep - 5
What does Kitty's experience reveal about how hope can distort our ability to read situations accurately?
reflection • deep
Critical Thinking Exercise
Reality-Test Your Assumptions
Think of a current situation where you're hoping for a specific outcome from someone else - a promotion, a relationship development, or social acceptance. Write down what concrete evidence you have versus what you're assuming. Then list three direct questions you could ask to verify your interpretation instead of continuing to guess.
Consider:
- •Separate what the person actually said or did from what you interpreted it to mean
- •Consider whether your desire for the outcome is making you see signals that aren't really there
- •Think about how you could get clarity without risking embarrassment or conflict
Journaling Prompt
Write about a time when you built expectations on assumptions that turned out to be wrong. What did that experience teach you about reading people and situations more accurately?
Coming Up Next...
Chapter 20
In the next chapter, you'll discover key events and character development in this chapter, and learn thematic elements and literary techniques. These insights reveal timeless patterns that resonate in our own lives and relationships.