The Odyssey

THE FIGHT WITH IRUS—ULYSSES WARNS AMPHINOMUS—PENELOPE GETS PRESENTS
FROM THE SUITORS—THE BRAZIERS—ULYSSES REBUKES EURYMACHUS.


Now there came a certain common tramp who used to go begging all over
the city of Ithaca, and was notorious as an incorrigible glutton and
drunkard. This man had no strength nor stay in him, but he was a great
hulking fellow to look at; his real name, the one his mother gave him,
was Arnaeus, but the young men of the place called him Irus,148 because
he used to run errands for any one who would send him. As soon as he
came he began to insult Ulysses, and to try and drive him out of his
own house.

“Be off, old man,” he cried, “from the doorway, or you shall be dragged
out neck and heels. Do you not see that they are all giving me the
wink, and wanting me to turn you out by force, only I do not like to do
so? Get up then, and go of yourself, or we shall come to blows.”

Ulysses frowned on him and said, “My friend, I do you no manner of
harm; people give you a great deal, but I am not jealous. There is room
enough in this doorway for the pair of us, and you need not grudge me
things that are not yours to give. You seem to be just such another
tramp as myself, but perhaps the gods will give us better luck by and
by. Do not, however, talk too much about fighting or you will incense
me, and old though I am, I shall cover your mouth and chest with blood.
I shall have more peace tomorrow if I do, for you will not come to the
house of Ulysses any more.”

Irus was very angry and answered, “You filthy glutton, you run on
trippingly like an old fish-fag. I have a good mind to lay both hands
about you, and knock your teeth out of your head like so many boar’s
tusks. Get ready, therefore, and let these people here stand by and
look on. You will never be able to fight one who is so much younger
than yourself.”

Thus roundly did they rate one another on the smooth pavement in front
of the doorway,149 and when Antinous saw what was going on he laughed
heartily and said to the others, “This is the finest sport that you
ever saw; heaven never yet sent anything like it into this house. The
stranger and Irus have quarreled and are going to fight, let us set
them on to do so at once.”

The suitors all came up laughing, and gathered round the two ragged
tramps. “Listen to me,” said Antinous, “there are some goats’ paunches
down at the fire, which we have filled with blood and fat, and set
aside for supper; he who is victorious and proves himself to be the
better man shall have his pick of the lot; he shall be free of our
table and we will not allow any other beggar about the house at all.”

The others all agreed, but Ulysses, to throw them off the scent, said,
“Sirs, an old man like myself, worn out with suffering, cannot hold his
own against a young one; but my irrepressible belly urges me on, though
I know it can only end in my getting a drubbing. You must swear,
however that none of you will give me a foul blow to favour Irus and
secure him the victory.”

They swore as he told them, and when they had completed their oath
Telemachus put in a word and said, “Stranger, if you have a mind to
settle with this fellow, you need not be afraid of any one here.
Whoever strikes you will have to fight more than one. I am host, and
the other chiefs, Antinous and Eurymachus, both of them men of
understanding, are of the same mind as I am.”

Every one assented, and Ulysses girded his old rags about his loins,
thus baring his stalwart thighs, his broad chest and shoulders, and his
mighty arms; but Minerva came up to him and made his limbs even
stronger still. The suitors were beyond measure astonished, and one
would turn towards his neighbour saying, “The stranger has brought such
a thigh out of his old rags that there will soon be nothing left of
Irus.”

Irus began to be very uneasy as he heard them, but the servants girded
him by force, and brought him [into the open part of the court] in such
a fright that his limbs were all of a tremble. Antinous scolded him and
said, “You swaggering bully, you ought never to have been born at all
if you are afraid of such an old broken down creature as this tramp is.
I say, therefore—and it shall surely be—if he beats you and proves
himself the better man, I shall pack you off on board ship to the
mainland and send you to king Echetus, who kills every one that comes
near him. He will cut off your nose and ears, and draw out your
entrails for the dogs to eat.”

This frightened Irus still more, but they brought him into the middle
of the court, and the two men raised their hands to fight. Then Ulysses
considered whether he should let drive so hard at him as to make an end
of him then and there, or whether he should give him a lighter blow
that should only knock him down; in the end he deemed it best to give
the lighter blow for fear the Achaeans should begin to suspect who he
was. Then they began to fight, and Irus hit Ulysses on the right
shoulder; but Ulysses gave Irus a blow on the neck under the ear that
broke in the bones of his skull, and the blood came gushing out of his
mouth; he fell groaning in the dust, gnashing his teeth and kicking on
the ground, but the suitors threw up their hands and nearly died of
laughter, as Ulysses caught hold of him by the foot and dragged him
into the outer court as far as the gate-house. There he propped him up
against the wall and put his staff in his hands. “Sit here,” said he,
“and keep the dogs and pigs off; you are a pitiful creature, and if you
try to make yourself king of the beggars any more you shall fare still
worse.”

Then he threw his dirty old wallet, all tattered and torn over his
shoulder with the cord by which it hung, and went back to sit down upon
the threshold; but the suitors went within the cloisters, laughing and
saluting him, “May Jove, and all the other gods,” said they, “grant you
whatever you want for having put an end to the importunity of this
insatiable tramp. We will take him over to the mainland presently, to
king Echetus, who kills every one that comes near him.”

Ulysses hailed this as of good omen, and Antinous set a great goat’s
paunch before him filled with blood and fat. Amphinomus took two loaves
out of the bread-basket and brought them to him, pledging him as he did
so in a golden goblet of wine. “Good luck to you,” he said, “father
stranger, you are very badly off at present, but I hope you will have
better times by and by.”

To this Ulysses answered, “Amphinomus, you seem to be a man of good
understanding, as indeed you may well be, seeing whose son you are. I
have heard your father well spoken of; he is Nisus of Dulichium, a man
both brave and wealthy. They tell me you are his son, and you appear to
be a considerable person; listen, therefore, and take heed to what I am
saying. Man is the vainest of all creatures that have their being upon
earth. As long as heaven vouchsafes him health and strength, he thinks
that he shall come to no harm hereafter, and even when the blessed gods
bring sorrow upon him, he bears it as he needs must, and makes the best
of it; for God almighty gives men their daily minds day by day. I know
all about it, for I was a rich man once, and did much wrong in the
stubbornness of my pride, and in the confidence that my father and my
brothers would support me; therefore let a man fear God in all things
always, and take the good that heaven may see fit to send him without
vain glory. Consider the infamy of what these suitors are doing; see
how they are wasting the estate, and doing dishonour to the wife, of
one who is certain to return some day, and that, too, not long hence.
Nay, he will be here soon; may heaven send you home quietly first that
you may not meet with him in the day of his coming, for once he is here
the suitors and he will not part bloodlessly.”

With these words he made a drink-offering, and when he had drunk he put
the gold cup again into the hands of Amphinomus, who walked away
serious and bowing his head, for he foreboded evil. But even so he did
not escape destruction, for Minerva had doomed him to fall by the hand
of Telemachus. So he took his seat again at the place from which he had
come.

Then Minerva put it into the mind of Penelope to show herself to the
suitors, that she might make them still more enamoured of her, and win
still further honour from her son and husband. So she feigned a mocking
laugh and said, “Eurynome, I have changed my mind, and have a fancy to
show myself to the suitors although I detest them. I should like also
to give my son a hint that he had better not have anything more to do
with them. They speak fairly enough but they mean mischief.”

“My dear child,” answered Eurynome, “all that you have said is true, go
and tell your son about it, but first wash yourself and anoint your
face. Do not go about with your cheeks all covered with tears; it is
not right that you should grieve so incessantly; for Telemachus, whom
you always prayed that you might live to see with a beard, is already
grown up.”

“I know, Eurynome,” replied Penelope, “that you mean well, but do not
try and persuade me to wash and to anoint myself, for heaven robbed me
of all my beauty on the day my husband sailed; nevertheless, tell
Autonoe and Hippodamia that I want them. They must be with me when I am
in the cloister; I am not going among the men alone; it would not be
proper for me to do so.”

On this the old woman150 went out of the room to bid the maids go to
their mistress. In the meantime Minerva bethought her of another
matter, and sent Penelope off into a sweet slumber; so she lay down on
her couch and her limbs became heavy with sleep. Then the goddess shed
grace and beauty over her that all the Achaeans might admire her. She
washed her face with the ambrosial loveliness that Venus wears when she
goes dancing with the Graces; she made her taller and of a more
commanding figure, while as for her complexion it was whiter than sawn
ivory. When Minerva had done all this she went away, whereon the maids
came in from the women’s room and woke Penelope with the sound of their
talking.

“What an exquisitely delicious sleep I have been having,” said she, as
she passed her hands over her face, “in spite of all my misery. I wish
Diana would let me die so sweetly now at this very moment, that I might
no longer waste in despair for the loss of my dear husband, who
possessed every kind of good quality and was the most distinguished man
among the Achaeans.”

With these words she came down from her upper room, not alone but
attended by two of her maidens, and when she reached the suitors she
stood by one of the bearing-posts supporting the roof of the cloister,
holding a veil before her face, and with a staid maid servant on either
side of her. As they beheld her the suitors were so overpowered and
became so desperately enamoured of her, that each one prayed he might
win her for his own bed fellow.

“Telemachus,” said she, addressing her son, “I fear you are no longer
so discreet and well conducted as you used to be. When you were younger
you had a greater sense of propriety; now, however, that you are grown
up, though a stranger to look at you would take you for the son of a
well to do father as far as size and good looks go, your conduct is by
no means what it should be. What is all this disturbance that has been
going on, and how came you to allow a stranger to be so disgracefully
ill-treated? What would have happened if he had suffered serious injury
while a suppliant in our house? Surely this would have been very
discreditable to you.”

“I am not surprised, my dear mother, at your displeasure,” replied
Telemachus, “I understand all about it and know when things are not as
they should be, which I could not do when I was younger; I cannot,
however, behave with perfect propriety at all times. First one and then
another of these wicked people here keeps driving me out of my mind,
and I have no one to stand by me. After all, however, this fight
between Irus and the stranger did not turn out as the suitors meant it
to do, for the stranger got the best of it. I wish Father Jove,
Minerva, and Apollo would break the neck of every one of these wooers
of yours, some inside the house and some out; and I wish they might all
be as limp as Irus is over yonder in the gate of the outer court. See
how he nods his head like a drunken man; he has had such a thrashing
that he cannot stand on his feet nor get back to his home, wherever
that may be, for he has no strength left in him.”

Thus did they converse. Eurymachus then came up and said, “Queen
Penelope, daughter of Icarius, if all the Achaeans in Iasian Argos
could see you at this moment, you would have still more suitors in your
house by tomorrow morning, for you are the most admirable woman in the
whole world both as regards personal beauty and strength of
understanding.”

To this Penelope replied, “Eurymachus, heaven robbed me of all my
beauty whether of face or figure when the Argives set sail for Troy and
my dear husband with them. If he were to return and look after my
affairs, I should both be more respected and show a better presence to
the world. As it is, I am oppressed with care, and with the afflictions
which heaven has seen fit to heap upon me. My husband foresaw it all,
and when he was leaving home he took my right wrist in his hand—‘Wife,’
he said, ‘we shall not all of us come safe home from Troy, for the
Trojans fight well both with bow and spear. They are excellent also at
fighting from chariots, and nothing decides the issue of a fight sooner
than this. I know not, therefore, whether heaven will send me back to
you, or whether I may not fall over there at Troy. In the meantime do
you look after things here. Take care of my father and mother as at
present, and even more so during my absence, but when you see our son
growing a beard, then marry whom you will, and leave this your present
home.’ This is what he said and now it is all coming true. A night will
come when I shall have to yield myself to a marriage which I detest,
for Jove has taken from me all hope of happiness. This further grief,
moreover, cuts me to the very heart. You suitors are not wooing me
after the custom of my country. When men are courting a woman who they
think will be a good wife to them and who is of noble birth, and when
they are each trying to win her for himself, they usually bring oxen
and sheep to feast the friends of the lady, and they make her
magnificent presents, instead of eating up other people’s property
without paying for it.”

This was what she said, and Ulysses was glad when he heard her trying
to get presents out of the suitors, and flattering them with fair words
which he knew she did not mean.

Then Antinous said, “Queen Penelope, daughter of Icarius, take as many
presents as you please from any one who will give them to you; it is
not well to refuse a present; but we will not go about our business nor
stir from where we are, till you have married the best man among us
whoever he may be.”

The others applauded what Antinous had said, and each one sent his
servant to bring his present. Antinous’s man returned with a large and
lovely dress most exquisitely embroidered. It had twelve beautifully
made brooch pins of pure gold with which to fasten it. Eurymachus
immediately brought her a magnificent chain of gold and amber beads
that gleamed like sunlight. Eurydamas’s two men returned with some
earrings fashioned into three brilliant pendants which glistened most
beautifully; while king Pisander son of Polyctor gave her a necklace of
the rarest workmanship, and every one else brought her a beautiful
present of some kind.

Then the queen went back to her room upstairs, and her maids brought
the presents after her. Meanwhile the suitors took to singing and
dancing, and stayed till evening came. They danced and sang till it
grew dark; they then brought in three braziers151 to give light, and
piled them up with chopped firewood very old and dry, and they lit
torches from them, which the maids held up turn and turn about. Then
Ulysses said:

“Maids, servants of Ulysses who has so long been absent, go to the
queen inside the house; sit with her and amuse her, or spin, and pick
wool. I will hold the light for all these people. They may stay till
morning, but shall not beat me, for I can stand a great deal.”

The maids looked at one another and laughed, while pretty Melantho
began to gibe at him contemptuously. She was daughter to Dolius, but
had been brought up by Penelope, who used to give her toys to play
with, and looked after her when she was a child; but in spite of all
this she showed no consideration for the sorrows of her mistress, and
used to misconduct herself with Eurymachus, with whom she was in love.

“Poor wretch,” said she, “are you gone clean out of your mind? Go and
sleep in some smithy, or place of public gossips, instead of chattering
here. Are you not ashamed of opening your mouth before your betters—so
many of them too? Has the wine been getting into your head, or do you
always babble in this way? You seem to have lost your wits because you
beat the tramp Irus; take care that a better man than he does not come
and cudgel you about the head till he pack you bleeding out of the
house.”

“Vixen,” replied Ulysses, scowling at her, “I will go and tell
Telemachus what you have been saying, and he will have you torn limb
from limb.”

With these words he scared the women, and they went off into the body
of the house. They trembled all over, for they thought he would do as
he said. But Ulysses took his stand near the burning braziers, holding
up torches and looking at the people—brooding the while on things that
should surely come to pass.

But Minerva would not let the suitors for one moment cease their
insolence, for she wanted Ulysses to become even more bitter against
them; she therefore set Eurymachus son of Polybus on to gibe at him,
which made the others laugh. “Listen to me,” said he, “you suitors of
Queen Penelope, that I may speak even as I am minded. It is not for
nothing that this man has come to the house of Ulysses; I believe the
light has not been coming from the torches, but from his own head—for
his hair is all gone, every bit of it.”

Then turning to Ulysses he said, “Stranger, will you work as a servant,
if I send you to the wolds and see that you are well paid? Can you
build a stone fence, or plant trees? I will have you fed all the year
round, and will find you in shoes and clothing. Will you go, then? Not
you; for you have got into bad ways, and do not want to work; you had
rather fill your belly by going round the country begging.”

“Eurymachus,” answered Ulysses, “if you and I were to work one against
the other in early summer when the days are at their longest—give me a
good scythe, and take another yourself, and let us see which will last
the longer or mow the stronger, from dawn till dark when the mowing
grass is about. Or if you will plough against me, let us each take a
yoke of tawny oxen, well-mated and of great strength and endurance:
turn me into a four acre field, and see whether you or I can drive the
straighter furrow. If, again, war were to break out this day, give me a
shield, a couple of spears and a helmet fitting well upon my
temples—you would find me foremost in the fray, and would cease your
gibes about my belly. You are insolent and cruel, and think yourself a
great man because you live in a little world, and that a bad one. If
Ulysses comes to his own again, the doors of his house are wide, but
you will find them narrow when you try to fly through them.”

Eurymachus was furious at all this. He scowled at him and cried, “You
wretch, I will soon pay you out for daring to say such things to me,
and in public too. Has the wine been getting into your head or do you
always babble in this way? You seem to have lost your wits because you
beat the tramp Irus.” With this he caught hold of a footstool, but
Ulysses sought protection at the knees of Amphinomus of Dulichium, for
he was afraid. The stool hit the cupbearer on his right hand and
knocked him down: the man fell with a cry flat on his back, and his
wine-jug fell ringing to the ground. The suitors in the covered
cloister were now in an uproar, and one would turn towards his
neighbour, saying, “I wish the stranger had gone somewhere else, bad
luck to him, for all the trouble he gives us. We cannot permit such
disturbance about a beggar; if such ill counsels are to prevail we
shall have no more pleasure at our banquet.”

On this Telemachus came forward and said, “Sirs, are you mad? Can you
not carry your meat and your liquor decently? Some evil spirit has
possessed you. I do not wish to drive any of you away, but you have had
your suppers, and the sooner you all go home to bed the better.”

The suitors bit their lips and marvelled at the boldness of his speech;
but Amphinomus the son of Nisus, who was son to Aretias, said, “Do not
let us take offence; it is reasonable, so let us make no answer.
Neither let us do violence to the stranger nor to any of Ulysses’
servants. Let the cupbearer go round with the drink-offerings, that we
may make them and go home to our rest. As for the stranger, let us
leave Telemachus to deal with him, for it is to his house that he has
come.”

Thus did he speak, and his saying pleased them well, so Mulius of
Dulichium, servant to Amphinomus, mixed them a bowl of wine and water
and handed it round to each of them man by man, whereon they made their
drink-offerings to the blessed gods: Then, when they had made their
drink-offerings and had drunk each one as he was minded, they took
their several ways each of them to his own abode.