An excerpt from the original text.(complete · 918 words)
NOT TO COUNTERFEIT BEING SICK
There is an epigram in Martial, and one of the very good ones--for he has
of all sorts--where he pleasantly tells the story of Caelius, who, to
avoid making his court to some great men of Rome, to wait their rising,
and to attend them abroad, pretended to have the gout; and the better to
colour this anointed his legs, and had them lapped up in a great many
swathings, and perfectly counterfeited both the gesture and countenance
of a gouty person; till in the end, Fortune did him the kindness to make
him one indeed:
“Quantum curs potest et ars doloris
Desiit fingere Caelius podagram.”
[“How great is the power of counterfeiting pain: Caelius has ceased
to feign the gout; he has got it.”--Martial, Ep., vii. 39, 8.]
I think I have read somewhere in Appian a story like this, of one who to
escape the proscriptions of the triumvirs of Rome, and the better to be
concealed from the discovery of those who pursued him, having hidden
himself in a disguise, would yet add this invention, to counterfeit
having but one eye; but when he came to have a little more liberty, and
went to take off the plaster he had a great while worn over his eye, he
found he had totally lost the sight of it indeed, and that it was
absolutely gone. ‘Tis possible that the action of sight was dulled from
having been so long without exercise, and that the optic power was wholly
retired into the other eye: for we evidently perceive that the eye we
keep shut sends some part of its virtue to its fellow, so that it will
swell and grow bigger; and so inaction, with the heat of ligatures and,
plasters, might very well have brought some gouty humour upon the
counterfeiter in Martial.
Reading in Froissart the vow of a troop of young English gentlemen, to
keep their left eyes bound up till they had arrived in France and
performed some notable exploit upon us, I have often been tickled with
this thought, that it might have befallen them as it did those others,
and they might have returned with but an eye a-piece to their mistresses,
for whose sakes they had made this ridiculous vow.
Mothers have reason to rebuke their children when they counterfeit having
but one eye, squinting, lameness, or any other personal defect; for,
besides that their bodies being then so tender, may be subject to take an
ill bent, fortune, I know not how, sometimes seems to delight in taking
us at our word; and I have heard several examples related of people who
have become really sick, by only feigning to be so. I have always used,
whether on horseback or on foot, to carry a stick in my hand, and even to
affect doing it with an elegant air; many have threatened that this fancy
would one day be turned into necessity: if so, I should be the first of
my family to have the gout.
But let us a little lengthen this chapter, and add another anecdote
concerning blindness. Pliny reports of one who, dreaming he was blind,
found himself so indeed in the morning without any preceding infirmity in
his eyes. The force of imagination might assist in this case, as I have
said elsewhere, and Pliny seems to be of the same opinion; but it is more
likely that the motions which the body felt within, of which physicians,
if they please, may find out the cause, taking away his sight, were the
occasion of his dream.
Let us add another story, not very improper for this subject, which
Seneca relates in one of his epistles: “You know,” says he, writing to
Lucilius, “that Harpaste, my wife’s fool, is thrown upon me as an
hereditary charge, for I have naturally an aversion to those monsters;
and if I have a mind to laugh at a fool, I need not seek him far; I can
laugh at myself. This fool has suddenly lost her sight: I tell you a
strange, but a very true thing she is not sensible that she is blind, but
eternally importunes her keeper to take her abroad, because she says the
house is dark. That what we laugh at in her, I pray you to believe,
happens to every one of us: no one knows himself to be avaricious or
grasping; and, again, the blind call for a guide, while we stray of our
own accord. I am not ambitious, we say; but a man cannot live otherwise
at Rome; I am not wasteful, but the city requires a great outlay; ‘tis
not my fault if I am choleric--if I have not yet established any certain
course of life: ‘tis the fault of youth. Let us not seek our disease out
of ourselves; ‘tis in us, and planted in our bowels; and the mere fact
that we do not perceive ourselves to be sick, renders us more hard to be
cured. If we do not betimes begin to see to ourselves, when shall we
have provided for so many wounds and evils wherewith we abound? And yet
we have a most sweet and charming medicine in philosophy; for of all the
rest we are sensible of no pleasure till after the cure: this pleases and
heals at once.” This is what Seneca says, that has carried me from my
subject, but there is advantage in the change.
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Let's Analyse the Pattern
We gradually become what we consistently pretend to be, as our minds and bodies adapt to the roles we repeatedly perform.
Why This Matters
Connect literature to life
This chapter teaches how to recognize when we're training ourselves into limitations through repeated behaviors and excuses.
Practice This Today
This week, notice when you fake incompetence, illness, or helplessness to avoid tasks—then ask where that performance might lead if you keep it up.
Now let's explore the literary elements.
Key Quotes & Analysis
"How great is the power of counterfeiting pain: Caelius has ceased to feign the gout; he has got it."
Context: The punchline of Martial's epigram about the man who faked illness
This quote captures the central irony of the chapter: that our pretenses can become our reality. It suggests that our bodies and minds don't always distinguish between what we're faking and what's real, especially when we maintain the act for too long.
In Today's Words:
Be careful what you fake—you might end up stuck with it for real.
"We are all patchwork, and so shapeless and diverse in composition that each bit, each moment, plays its own game."
Context: His reflection on human inconsistency and self-deception
Montaigne acknowledges that we're all contradictory beings, constantly changing and often inconsistent. This quote shows his understanding that self-knowledge is difficult precisely because we're not fixed, stable creatures but complex, shifting combinations of traits and impulses.
In Today's Words:
We're all a hot mess of contradictions, and every day we're basically winging it.
"There is no man so good that if he placed all his actions and thoughts under the scrutiny of the laws, he would not deserve hanging ten times over."
Context: His observation about universal human imperfection
This quote reveals Montaigne's belief that we all have dark thoughts and impulses we'd rather not acknowledge. It's both humbling and liberating—humbling because it admits our flaws, liberating because it suggests we're all in the same boat of imperfection.
In Today's Words:
If everyone's browser history became public, we'd all be canceled.
Thematic Threads
Self-Deception
In This Chapter
Montaigne shows how we blind ourselves to our own faults while clearly seeing others' problems
Development
Builds on earlier themes of self-knowledge, showing the active ways we avoid truth
In Your Life:
You might refuse to see your own anger while criticizing others for losing their temper
Identity
In This Chapter
Characters literally become the false identities they've adopted through prolonged pretense
Development
Deepens earlier exploration of authentic self by showing how performance shapes identity
In Your Life:
The persona you put on at work might be slowly becoming your real personality
Physical Reality
In This Chapter
Bodies respond to mental states and behaviors, making fake ailments become real ones
Development
Introduced here as a new dimension of mind-body connection
In Your Life:
Stress you pretend not to have might manifest as actual physical symptoms
Social Expectations
In This Chapter
People fake conditions to meet social demands or escape obligations
Development
Continues theme of how social pressure shapes behavior, now showing long-term consequences
In Your Life:
You might exaggerate being busy to avoid commitments you don't want
Personal Growth
In This Chapter
Montaigne's honest self-examination about his walking stick shows awareness of this pattern
Development
Reinforces ongoing theme of brutal self-honesty as path to wisdom
In Your Life:
Real growth requires admitting what you're actually doing versus what you claim to be doing
You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.
Discussion Questions
- 1
What happened to the people who faked illnesses in Montaigne's stories, and why is this significant?
analysis • surface - 2
Why does Montaigne think our pretending can become our reality? What's the mechanism behind this transformation?
analysis • medium - 3
Where do you see people 'becoming what they pretend to be' in modern workplaces, relationships, or social media?
application • medium - 4
How would you use this knowledge to deliberately shape who you become, while avoiding the trap of harmful pretending?
application • deep - 5
What does Montaigne's insight about self-deception reveal about why it's so hard for people to change or see their own flaws clearly?
reflection • deep
Critical Thinking Exercise
Track Your Performance Patterns
List three roles or behaviors you 'perform' regularly—at work, at home, or socially. For each one, identify whether this performance is moving you toward who you want to become or away from it. Consider both positive performances (acting confident when you're not) and negative ones (playing helpless to avoid responsibility).
Consider:
- •Notice which performances feel automatic versus deliberate
- •Consider how others respond to your performances and reinforce them
- •Think about which masks might be becoming your actual face
Journaling Prompt
Write about one performance you've been maintaining that might be shaping you in ways you don't want. What would happen if you stopped this performance tomorrow?
Coming Up Next...
Chapter 82: The Power of Thumbs
From the dangers of pretense, Montaigne shifts to examining a seemingly simple body part that reveals profound truths about human nature and capability. The humble thumb becomes a window into what makes us uniquely human.
