Summary
Montaigne explores how custom becomes our invisible master, shaping everything from our beliefs to our daily habits. He begins with the story of a woman who carried a calf daily until it became an ox, illustrating how gradual change makes the extraordinary seem normal. Custom, he argues, is like a gentle teacher who slowly becomes a tyrant—we don't notice her power until we're completely under her control. Through vivid examples from around the world, Montaigne shows how different cultures practice customs that would seem bizarre to outsiders: from eating habits to marriage rituals to ways of greeting. What seems natural to us is often just what we've grown accustomed to. He warns against both blind acceptance and reckless rejection of traditions. While some customs may be arbitrary or even harmful, changing established laws and social structures is dangerous—like pulling one brick from a building and causing the whole structure to collapse. Montaigne advocates for internal freedom of thought while maintaining external conformity to social norms. He believes we should think critically about customs but be cautious about revolutionary change. The essay reveals how our sense of 'normal' is largely constructed, yet suggests that stability often matters more than perfection. This tension between critical thinking and social harmony remains one of life's ongoing challenges.
Coming Up in Chapter 23
Having explored how custom shapes our world, Montaigne turns to examine how different perspectives can lead to vastly different outcomes from the same situation, revealing the complexity of human judgment and decision-making.
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An excerpt from the original text.(~500 words)
OF CUSTOM, AND THAT WE SHOULD NOT EASILY CHANGE A LAW RECEIVED He seems to me to have had a right and true apprehension of the power of custom, who first invented the story of a country-woman who, having accustomed herself to play with and carry a young calf in her arms, and daily continuing to do so as it grew up, obtained this by custom, that, when grown to be a great ox, she was still able to bear it. For, in truth, custom is a violent and treacherous schoolmistress. She, by little and little, slily and unperceived, slips in the foot of her authority, but having by this gentle and humble beginning, with the benefit of time, fixed and established it, she then unmasks a furious and tyrannic countenance, against which we have no more the courage or the power so much as to lift up our eyes. We see her, at every turn, forcing and violating the rules of nature: “Usus efficacissimus rerum omnium magister.” [“Custom is the best master of all things.” --Pliny, Nat. Hist.,xxvi. 2.] I refer to her Plato’s cave in his Republic, and the physicians, who so often submit the reasons of their art to her authority; as the story of that king, who by custom brought his stomach to that pass, as to live by poison, and the maid that Albertus reports to have lived upon spiders. In that new world of the Indies, there were found great nations, and in very differing climates, who were of the same diet, made provision of them, and fed them for their tables; as also, they did grasshoppers, mice, lizards, and bats; and in a time of scarcity of such delicacies, a toad was sold for six crowns, all which they cook, and dish up with several sauces. There were also others found, to whom our diet, and the flesh we eat, were venomous and mortal: “Consuetudinis magna vis est: pernoctant venatores in nive: in montibus uri se patiuntur: pugiles, caestibus contusi, ne ingemiscunt quidem.” [“The power of custom is very great: huntsmen will lie out all night in the snow, or suffer themselves to be burned up by the sun on the mountains; boxers, hurt by the caestus, never utter a groan.”--Cicero, Tusc., ii. 17] These strange examples will not appear so strange if we consider what we have ordinary experience of, how much custom stupefies our senses. We need not go to what is reported of the people about the cataracts of the Nile; and what philosophers believe of the music of the spheres, that the bodies of those circles being solid and smooth, and coming to touch and rub upon one another, cannot fail of creating a marvellous harmony, the changes and cadences of which cause the revolutions and dances of the stars; but that the hearing sense of all creatures here below, being universally, like that of the Egyptians, deafened, and stupefied with the continual noise, cannot, how great soever, perceive...
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Intelligence Amplifier™ Analysis
The Road of Invisible Influence - How Custom Shapes Everything
Gradual normalization of behaviors and beliefs through repeated exposure until they feel natural rather than learned.
Why This Matters
Connect literature to life
This chapter teaches how to recognize when small daily compromises are slowly reshaping your identity and values without your conscious awareness.
Practice This Today
This week, notice when you catch yourself saying 'that's just how things work here' and ask whether you chose this pattern or simply inherited it.
Now let's explore the literary elements.
Terms to Know
Custom
The invisible force of habit and tradition that shapes how we think and act. Montaigne shows how customs start gentle but become tyrannical masters we can't escape. What feels 'natural' to us is often just what we've grown used to.
Modern Usage:
We see this in everything from workplace culture to family traditions - what seems normal in one company or household can seem bizarre to outsiders.
Plato's Cave
A famous philosophical story about prisoners chained in a cave who mistake shadows on the wall for reality. Montaigne uses it to show how custom keeps us trapped in limited thinking. We assume our way of life is the only reasonable way.
Modern Usage:
Like people who've never traveled assuming their hometown's way of doing things is universal, or getting culture shock when visiting different regions.
The New World
Montaigne's term for the recently discovered Americas, where European explorers found completely different ways of living. These discoveries challenged Europeans' assumptions about what was 'natural' or 'civilized' human behavior.
Modern Usage:
Today we experience this through social media and global communication - constantly seeing how other cultures live differently than us.
Laws Received
Established laws and social rules that society has accepted over time. Montaigne warns against changing them rashly, even if they seem imperfect, because social stability matters more than theoretical perfection.
Modern Usage:
Like workplace policies or family rules that might seem arbitrary but keep things running smoothly - changing them can cause more problems than they solve.
Internal Freedom
Montaigne's idea that you can think critically and question customs in your mind while still following social expectations outwardly. You don't have to believe something just because you participate in it.
Modern Usage:
Going along with office holiday parties or family traditions while privately thinking they're silly - keeping the peace while maintaining your own perspective.
Gradual Conditioning
The process by which we slowly adapt to changes until something extraordinary becomes normal. Like the woman carrying the growing calf, we don't notice how much we've adjusted until we're in a completely different situation.
Modern Usage:
How we gradually accept longer work hours, higher prices, or new technology until what once seemed impossible becomes our everyday reality.
Characters in This Chapter
The Country-woman
Example figure
She carried a calf daily as it grew into an ox, demonstrating how gradual change makes the impossible seem normal. Her story shows how custom works - slowly, invisibly, until we're doing things that would have seemed impossible at the start.
Modern Equivalent:
The parent who gradually takes on more responsibilities until they're doing everything
The King who lived by poison
Historical example
A ruler who gradually built up immunity to poison by taking small doses daily until poison became his food. Montaigne uses him to show how custom can override even basic survival instincts.
Modern Equivalent:
The workaholic who's so used to stress they can't function without it
The maid who lived upon spiders
Extreme example
A girl who ate spiders as her regular diet, showing how custom can make the most repulsive things seem normal. Montaigne uses her to illustrate that our ideas of what's disgusting or natural are largely learned.
Modern Equivalent:
The person with unusual food preferences who thinks everyone else is picky
Montaigne
Narrator and philosopher
The author examining his own assumptions and those of his society. He questions customs while acknowledging their power, trying to find balance between critical thinking and social stability.
Modern Equivalent:
The thoughtful friend who questions everything but still shows up for family dinner
Key Quotes & Analysis
"Custom is a violent and treacherous schoolmistress. She, by little and little, slily and unperceived, slips in the foot of her authority."
Context: Explaining how custom gains power over us gradually and invisibly
This reveals how social conditioning works - not through force but through gentle, repeated exposure until we can't imagine living differently. The personification of custom as a deceptive teacher shows how what seems helpful becomes controlling.
In Today's Words:
Habits sneak up on you - they start small and harmless, then before you know it, they're running your whole life.
"We see her, at every turn, forcing and violating the rules of nature."
Context: Describing how powerful custom becomes once established
This shows that many things we consider 'natural' are actually just customary. Custom can make us act against our basic instincts or rational thinking because we've been conditioned to see certain behaviors as normal.
In Today's Words:
Once you're used to something, it can make you do things that go against common sense.
"Custom is the best master of all things."
Context: Supporting the idea that habit shapes everything we do
This ancient wisdom reinforces Montaigne's point that custom is more powerful than reason, education, or even natural instinct. It suggests that repeated practice teaches us more effectively than any other method.
In Today's Words:
Practice makes perfect - and what you practice becomes who you are.
Thematic Threads
Social Expectations
In This Chapter
Custom becomes the invisible rulebook that governs behavior without conscious awareness
Development
Introduced here as the foundation of how society shapes individual identity
In Your Life:
You might find yourself following workplace or family 'rules' that no one ever explicitly stated but everyone somehow knows.
Identity
In This Chapter
What we consider our 'natural' personality is largely shaped by cultural programming
Development
Introduced here as the constructed nature of personal identity
In Your Life:
Your communication style, work habits, and relationship patterns may feel personal but were largely learned from your environment.
Class
In This Chapter
Different social groups develop distinct customs that seem bizarre to outsiders
Development
Introduced here as cultural relativism across social boundaries
In Your Life:
You might feel out of place in different social or professional settings because the unspoken rules are different from what you learned.
Personal Growth
In This Chapter
Growth requires questioning inherited customs while maintaining social stability
Development
Introduced here as the tension between critical thinking and conformity
In Your Life:
You face the challenge of changing limiting beliefs or habits while maintaining important relationships and responsibilities.
Human Relationships
In This Chapter
Relationships operate according to learned patterns that feel natural but are culturally specific
Development
Introduced here as the customary nature of social interaction
In Your Life:
Your relationship dynamics—how you argue, show affection, or handle problems—follow patterns you absorbed rather than consciously chose.
You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.
Discussion Questions
- 1
What does Montaigne mean when he describes custom as a 'gentle teacher who slowly becomes a tyrant'? How does the story of the woman and the calf illustrate this process?
analysis • surface - 2
Why does Montaigne argue that we should think critically about customs but be cautious about changing them? What's the difference between internal freedom and external conformity?
analysis • medium - 3
Where do you see 'invisible programming' in your own workplace, family, or community? What behaviors or beliefs feel 'natural' but might actually be learned customs?
application • medium - 4
Think of a custom or tradition you follow that no longer serves you. How would you apply Montaigne's advice about gradual change rather than revolutionary upheaval?
application • deep - 5
What does this essay reveal about the balance between belonging to a community and maintaining individual judgment? How do we navigate when group customs conflict with personal values?
reflection • deep
Critical Thinking Exercise
Map Your Invisible Influences
Choose one area of your life where you feel stuck or frustrated. Write down three 'rules' you follow in this area that you've never questioned—they just feel like 'how things are done.' For each rule, ask: Where did I learn this? Is this serving me or limiting me? What would happen if I gradually adjusted this pattern?
Consider:
- •Focus on patterns you repeat automatically, not conscious choices
- •Look for rules that create stress or limit your options
- •Consider both family and cultural programming
Journaling Prompt
Write about a time when you realized something you thought was 'just how things work' was actually a choice. How did that recognition change your approach to similar situations?
Coming Up Next...
Chapter 23: When Mercy Meets Politics
What lies ahead teaches us showing mercy can be both noble and dangerous in leadership, and shows us fortune plays a larger role in success than we want to admit. These patterns appear in literature and life alike.