Summary
Sue and Jude postpone their marriage after Sue's conversation with Arabella leaves her questioning whether legal obligation will destroy their passionate love. She fears that being 'tied up' by law will change their relationship's essential freedom. Just as they settle into comfortable procrastination, Arabella drops a bombshell: she reveals that Jude has a son, born eight months after she left him. The boy has been living with her parents in Australia, but they're sending him to England because they can no longer care for him. This revelation forces Sue and Jude to confront immediate practical realities. Jude accepts responsibility without question, showing his philosophical belief that all children deserve care regardless of biological parentage. Sue, initially dismayed, embraces the idea of becoming the boy's adoptive mother. When the child arrives—a pale, prematurely aged boy with haunting eyes—he immediately asks Sue if she's his 'real mother.' The encounter is deeply moving, revealing the child's desperate need for belonging and Sue's maternal instincts. His presence makes Sue reconsider marriage, thinking it might provide a more stable home for the boy. The chapter shows how external circumstances can push people toward conventional choices they've been avoiding, and how children often become repositories for adult dreams and regrets. The boy's arrival represents both hope and burden, forcing Jude and Sue to move from philosophical discussions about love and marriage to concrete decisions about family responsibility.
Coming Up in Chapter 38
With the child's arrival changing everything, Sue and Jude make their second, more deliberate attempt at marriage. But will legal commitment bring the stability they hope for, or the constraints Sue fears?
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An excerpt from the original text.(~500 words)
When Sue reached home Jude was awaiting her at the door to take the initial step towards their marriage. She clasped his arm, and they went along silently together, as true comrades oft-times do. He saw that she was preoccupied, and forbore to question her. “Oh Jude—I’ve been talking to her,” she said at last. “I wish I hadn’t! And yet it is best to be reminded of things.” “I hope she was civil.” “Yes. I—I can’t help liking her—just a little bit! She’s not an ungenerous nature; and I am so glad her difficulties have all suddenly ended.” She explained how Arabella had been summoned back, and would be enabled to retrieve her position. “I was referring to our old question. What Arabella has been saying to me has made me feel more than ever how hopelessly vulgar an institution legal marriage is—a sort of trap to catch a man—I can’t bear to think of it. I wish I hadn’t promised to let you put up the banns this morning!” “Oh, don’t mind me. Any time will do for me. I thought you might like to get it over quickly, now.” “Indeed, I don’t feel any more anxious now than I did before. Perhaps with any other man I might be a little anxious; but among the very few virtues possessed by your family and mine, dear, I think I may set staunchness. So I am not a bit frightened about losing you, now I really am yours and you really are mine. In fact, I am easier in my mind than I was, for my conscience is clear about Richard, who now has a right to his freedom. I felt we were deceiving him before.” “Sue, you seem when you are like this to be one of the women of some grand old civilization, whom I used to read about in my bygone, wasted, classical days, rather than a denizen of a mere Christian country. I almost expect you to say at these times that you have just been talking to some friend whom you met in the Via Sacra, about the latest news of Octavia or Livia; or have been listening to Aspasia’s eloquence, or have been watching Praxiteles chiselling away at his latest Venus, while Phryne made complaint that she was tired of posing.” They had now reached the house of the parish clerk. Sue stood back, while her lover went up to the door. His hand was raised to knock when she said: “Jude!” He looked round. “Wait a minute, would you mind?” He came back to her. “Just let us think,” she said timidly. “I had such a horrid dream one night! … And Arabella—” “What did Arabella say to you?” he asked. “Oh, she said that when people were tied up you could get the law of a man better if he beat you—and how when couples quarrelled… Jude, do you think that when you must have me with you by law, we...
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Intelligence Amplifier™ Analysis
The Road of Forced Choices - When Life Decides for You
External circumstances eliminate the luxury of postponing important decisions, pushing people toward conventional choices they've been avoiding.
Why This Matters
Connect literature to life
This chapter teaches how external pressures eliminate the luxury of postponing important choices, forcing us from comfortable indecision into immediate action.
Practice This Today
This week, notice what important decisions you're postponing—ask yourself what external event could force your hand, then choose proactively rather than waiting for crisis to choose for you.
Now let's explore the literary elements.
Terms to Know
Banns
A public announcement in church that two people intend to marry, posted for three consecutive weeks before the wedding. This gave the community time to object if there were legal reasons the marriage shouldn't happen. It was the standard way to get married in Victorian England.
Modern Usage:
Like posting your engagement on social media - it makes your relationship intentions public and official.
Legal marriage as a trap
Sue's view that marriage laws turn love into a business contract that benefits men more than women. In Victorian times, married women lost most legal rights and property to their husbands. Sue fears legal obligation will kill their natural affection.
Modern Usage:
Similar to how some people today worry that signing a lease together or getting married will change the dynamic of their relationship.
Staunchness
Loyalty and reliability, especially in relationships. Sue believes both their families have this trait - they stick by people they love through difficulties. She's saying Jude won't abandon her even without legal marriage.
Modern Usage:
Being someone's 'ride or die' - the person who stays loyal no matter what happens.
Biological vs. social parentage
The difference between being someone's biological parent and actually raising them. Jude accepts responsibility for his son even though he barely knows the child, while the boy's grandparents who raised him are giving up.
Modern Usage:
Like stepparents, adoptive parents, or anyone who steps up to raise a child who isn't biologically theirs.
Prematurely aged child
A child who seems older than their years due to difficult experiences. Hardy often wrote about children forced to grow up too fast by poverty and family instability. The boy has adult-like seriousness and sadness.
Modern Usage:
Kids who've been through trauma or instability often seem 'old for their age' - too serious, too worried about adult problems.
Maternal instincts
The natural protective and nurturing feelings that arise when caring for a child. Sue, who has been intellectual and somewhat detached, finds herself emotionally moved by the boy's need for a mother figure.
Modern Usage:
That immediate protective feeling people get around vulnerable children, even if they're not the biological parent.
Characters in This Chapter
Sue
Female protagonist
She's torn between her intellectual rejection of marriage and her emotional desire to provide stability for Jude's son. Her conversation with Arabella has made her more conflicted about legal marriage, but the child's arrival makes her reconsider.
Modern Equivalent:
The independent woman who questions traditional relationships but softens when children are involved
Jude
Male protagonist
He accepts responsibility for his son without question, showing his moral character. He's patient with Sue's hesitations about marriage and willing to wait for her to be ready.
Modern Equivalent:
The guy who steps up when he finds out he has a kid, even if the timing is terrible
Arabella
Jude's estranged wife
She drops the bombshell about Jude's son and arranges for the child to come live with them. Her practical approach to the situation contrasts with Sue and Jude's philosophical discussions.
Modern Equivalent:
The ex who shows up with life-changing news just when you thought you'd moved on
Little Father Time
Jude's young son
His arrival forces Sue and Jude to make concrete decisions about their relationship and future. His desperate question about Sue being his 'real mother' reveals his deep need for belonging and stability.
Modern Equivalent:
The kid caught in the middle of adult drama who just wants someone to love him consistently
Key Quotes & Analysis
"I can't help liking her—just a little bit! She's not an ungenerous nature"
Context: Sue talking to Jude about her conversation with Arabella
This shows Sue's complexity - she can appreciate Arabella's good qualities even though Arabella represents everything Sue opposes about conventional marriage. It reveals Sue's fairness and emotional maturity.
In Today's Words:
I hate to admit it, but she's actually not that bad of a person.
"What a hopelessly vulgar an institution legal marriage is—a sort of trap to catch a man"
Context: Sue explaining why she doesn't want to post the banns
Sue sees marriage as reducing love to a legal contract that benefits society more than the individuals involved. She fears it will destroy the genuine affection she and Jude share.
In Today's Words:
Marriage just turns love into a business deal that traps people.
"Are you my real mother at last?"
Context: The boy's first question when he meets Sue
This heartbreaking question reveals the child's desperate need for a stable mother figure. He's been passed between caregivers and is hoping Sue will finally be the permanent parent he needs.
In Today's Words:
Are you going to be my actual mom now, or are you just another temporary person?
Thematic Threads
Responsibility
In This Chapter
Jude immediately accepts responsibility for his son without question, showing how parenthood transforms abstract philosophy into concrete duty
Development
Evolved from Jude's earlier struggles with social expectations to accepting biological obligations
In Your Life:
You might recognize this when unexpected family obligations force you to abandon plans you thought were flexible.
Identity
In This Chapter
Sue must decide whether to become a mother figure, while the boy desperately seeks to know who his 'real mother' is
Development
Builds on Sue's ongoing struggle between independence and conventional roles
In Your Life:
You see this when life circumstances push you into roles you never planned to take on.
Social Expectations
In This Chapter
The child's presence makes marriage seem more necessary for respectability and stability, despite their previous resistance
Development
Continues the theme of how society pressures unconventional relationships toward traditional forms
In Your Life:
You encounter this when personal choices become public responsibilities that require conventional solutions.
Love
In This Chapter
Sue's immediate maternal response to the boy shows how love can transcend biological bonds and transform priorities
Development
Expands from romantic love between Sue and Jude to include familial love and responsibility
In Your Life:
You experience this when caring for someone changes what you're willing to sacrifice or compromise.
Class
In This Chapter
The boy arrives from Australia where working-class grandparents couldn't provide for him, highlighting economic vulnerability
Development
Reinforces how class limitations affect family stability and children's opportunities
In Your Life:
You see this in how economic pressures force family separations or difficult childcare decisions.
You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.
Discussion Questions
- 1
What forces Sue and Jude to reconsider their decision to postpone marriage, and how does the arrival of Jude's son change their priorities?
analysis • surface - 2
Why does external pressure from a child's needs succeed in pushing them toward conventional choices when their own philosophical discussions couldn't?
analysis • medium - 3
Think of a time when an unexpected responsibility or crisis forced you or someone you know to make a decision you'd been avoiding. What happened?
application • medium - 4
When you're comfortable postponing important decisions, what strategies could help you choose proactively before circumstances force your hand?
application • deep - 5
What does this chapter reveal about how we balance personal freedom with responsibility to others, especially when vulnerable people depend on our choices?
reflection • deep
Critical Thinking Exercise
Map Your Postponement Patterns
List three important decisions you've been postponing or avoiding. For each one, identify what external circumstance could force your hand, and what values or principles you might compromise under pressure. Then consider: what would making this choice proactively, on your own timeline, look like instead?
Consider:
- •Consider both positive and negative external pressures that could eliminate your choice
- •Think about whether postponing serves you or just feels comfortable
- •Examine what you're really afraid of losing by deciding
Journaling Prompt
Write about a decision you made reactively under pressure versus one you made proactively on your own terms. How did the process and outcome differ? What would you do differently now?
Coming Up Next...
Chapter 38: The Wedding That Never Was
What lies ahead teaches us past trauma can sabotage present happiness, and shows us overthinking important decisions can paralyze action. These patterns appear in literature and life alike.