Evelina, Or, the History of a Young Lady's Entrance into the World

ETTER LIII.

EVELINA IN CONTINUATION. Holborn, July 1st.

LISTLESS, uneasy, and without either spirit or courage to employ
myself, from the time I had finished my last letter, I indolently
seated myself at the window, where, while I waited Madame Duval's
summons to breakfast, I perceived, among the carriages which passed
by, a coronet-coach, and in a few minutes, from the window of it,
Lord Orville! I instantly retreated, but not I believe, unseen;
for the coach immediately drove up to our door.

Indeed, my dear Sir, I must own I was greatly agitated; the idea
of receiving Lord Orville by myself,-the knowledge that his visit
was entirely to me,-the wish of explaining the unfortunate adventure
of yesterday,-and the mortification of my present circumstances,-all
these thoughts, occurring to me nearly at the same time, occasioned me
more anxiety, confusion, and perplexity, than I can possibly express.

I believe he meant to sent up his name; but the maid, unused to such
a ceremony, forgot it by the way, and only told me, that a great
Lord was below, and desired to see me; and, the next moment, he
appeared himself.

If, formerly, when in the circle of high life, and accustomed to its
manners, I so much admired and distinguished the grace, the elegance
of Lord Orville, think Sir, how they must strike me now,-now, when
far removed from that splendid circle, I live with those to whom even
civility is unknown, and decorum a stranger!

I am sure I received him very awkwardly: depressed by a situation
so disagreeable-could I do otherwise? When his first enquiries were
made, "I think myself very fortunate," he said, "in meeting with Miss
Anville at home, and still more so in finding her disengaged."

I only courtsied. He then talked of Mrs. Mirvan, asked how long I
had been in town, and other such general questions, which happily
gave me time to recover from my embarrassment. After which he said,
"If Miss Anville will allow me the honour of sitting by her a few
minutes (for we were both standing) I will venture to tell her the
motive which, next to enquiring after her health, has prompted me to
wait on her thus early."

We were then both seated; and, after a short pause, he said, "How to
apologize for so great a liberty as I am upon the point of taking,
I know not;-shall I, therefore, rely wholly upon your goodness,
and not apologize at all?"

I only bowed.

"I should be extremely sorry to appear impertinent,-yet hardly know
how to avoid it."

"Impertinent! O, my Lord," cried I, eagerly, "that, I am sure,
is impossible!"

"You are very good," answered he, "and encourage me to be ingenuous-"

Again he stopped: but my expectation was too great for speech. At
last, without looking at me, in a low voice, and hesitating manner,
he said, "Were those ladies with whom I saw you last night ever in
your company before?"

"No, my Lord," cried I, rising and colouring violently, "nor will
they ever be again."

He rose too; and, with an air of the most condescending concern, said,
"Pardon, Madam, the abruptness of a question which I knew not how
to introduce as I ought, and for which I have no excuse to offer but
my respect for Mrs. Mirvan, joined to the sincerest wishes for your
happiness: yet I fear I have gone too far!"

"I am very sensible of the honour of your lordship's attention,"
said I; "but-"

"Permit me to assure you," cried he, finding I hesitated, "that
officiousness is not my characteristic; and that I would by no means
have risked your displeasure, had I not been fully satisfied you were
too generous to be offended without a real cause of offence."

"Offended!" cried I, "no, my Lord, I am only grieved-grieved,
indeed! to find myself in a situation so unfortunate as to be obliged
to make explanations, which cannot but mortify and shock me."

"It is I alone," cried he, with some eagerness, "who am shocked, as
it is I who deserve to be mortified. I seek no explanation, for I have
no doubt; but in mistaking me, Miss Anville injures herself: allow me
therefore, frankly and openly, to tell you the intention of my visit."

I bowed, and we both returned to our seats.

"I will own myself to have been greatly surprised," continued he,
"when I met you yesterday evening, in company with two persons who
I was sensible merited not the honour of your notice: nor was it
easy for me to conjecture the cause of your being so situated; yet,
believe me, my incertitude did not for a moment do you injury. I was
satisfied that their characters must be unknown to you; and I thought,
with concern, of the shock you would sustain when you discovered their
unworthiness. I should not, however, upon so short an acquaintance,
have usurped the privilege of intimacy, in giving my unasked sentiments
upon so delicate a subject, had I not known that credulity is the
sister of innocence, and therefore feared you might be deceived. A
something which I could not resist, urged me to the freedom I have
taken to caution you; but I shall not easily forgive myself if I have
been so unfortunate as to give you pain."

The pride which his first question had excited, now subsided into
delight and gratitude; and I instantly related to him, as well as I
could, the accident which had occasioned my joining the unhappy women
with whom he had met me. He listened with an attention so flattering,
seemed so much interested during the recital, and, when I had done,
thanked me in terms so polite, for what he was pleased to call my
condescension, that I was almost ashamed either to look at or hear him.

Soon after the maid came to tell me, that Madame Duval desired to
have breakfast made in her own room.

"I fear," cried Lord Orville, instantly rising, "that I have intruded
upon your time;-yet who, so situated, could do otherwise?" Then,
taking my hand, "Will Miss Anville allow me thus to seal my peace?" he
pressed it to his lips, and took leave.

Generous, noble Lord Orville! how disinterested his conduct! how
delicate his whole behaviour! Willing to advise, yet afraid to
wound me!-Can I ever, in future, regret the adventure I met with at
Marybone, since it has been productive of a visit so flattering? Had
my mortifications been still more humiliating, my terrors still
more alarming, such a mark of esteem-may I not call it so?-from Lord
Orville, would have made me ample amends.

And indeed, my dear Sir, I require some consolation in my present
very disagreeable situation; for, since he went, two incidents have
happened, that, had not my spirits been particularly elated, would
greatly have disconcerted me.

During breakfast, Madame Duval, very abruptly, asked, if I should
like to be married? and added, that Mr. Branghton had been proposing
a match for me with his son. Surprised, and, I must own, provoked,
I assured her that in thinking of me, Mr. Branghton would very vainly
lose his time.

"Why," cried she, "I have had grander views for you myself, if once
I could get you to Paris, and make you be owned; but if I can't do
that, and you can do no better, why, as you are both my relations,
I think to leave my fortune between you; and then, if you marry,
you never need want for nothing."

I begged her not to pursue the subject, as, I assured her,
Mr. Branghton was totally disagreeable to me; but she continued her
admonitions and reflections, with her usual disregard of whatever
I could answer. She charged me, very peremptorily, neither wholly to
discourage, nor yet to accept Mr. Branghton's offer, till she saw what
could be done for me: the young man, she added, had often intended
to speak to me himself, but, not well knowing how to introduce the
subject, he had desired her to pave the way for him.

I scrupled not, warmly and freely, to declare my aversion to this
proposal; but it was to no effect; she concluded, just as she had
begun, by saying, that I should not have him, if I could do better.

Nothing, however, shall persuade me to listen to any other person
concerning this odious affair.

My second cause of uneasiness arises, very unexpectedly, from M. Du
Bois; who, to my infinite surprise, upon Madame Duval's quitting
the room after dinner, put into my hand a note, and immediately left
the house.

This note contains an open declaration of an attachment to me;
which, he says, he should never have presumed to have acknowledged,
had he not been informed that Madame Duval destined my hand to young
Branghton,-a match which he cannot endure to think of. He beseeches
me earnestly to pardon his temerity; professes the most inviolable
respect; and commits his fate to time, patience, and pity.

This conduct in M. du Bois gives me real concern, as I was disposed
to think very well of him. It will not, however, be difficult to
discourage him; and therefore, I shall not acquaint Madame Duval of
his letter, as I have reason to believe it would greatly displease her.