Evelina, Or, the History of a Young Lady's Entrance into the World

ETTER LIV.

EVELINA IN CONTINUATION. July 3rd.

O SIR, how much uneasiness must I suffer, to counterbalance one short
morning of happiness!

Yesterday the Branghtons proposed a party to Kensington Gardens; and,
as usual, Madame Duval insisted upon my attendance.

We went in a hackney-coach to Piccadilly, and then had a walk through
Hyde Park; which in any other company would have been delightful. I
was much pleased with Kensington Gardens, and think them infinitely
preferable to those of Vauxhall.

Young Branghton was extremely troublesome; he insisted upon walking
by my side, and talked with me almost by compulsion; however, my
reserve and coldness prevented his entering upon the hateful subject
which Madame Duval had prepared me to apprehend. Once, indeed, when
I was accidentally a few yards before the rest, he said, "I suppose,
Miss, aunt has told you about-you know what?-ha'n't she, Miss?"-But
I turned from him without making any answer. Neither Mr. Smith nor
Mr. Brown were of the party; and poor M. Du Bois, when he found that
I avoided him, looked so melancholy, that I was really sorry for him.

While we were strolling round the garden, I perceived, walking with a
party of ladies at some distance, Lord Orville! I instantly retreated
behind Miss Branghton, and kept out of sight till we had passed him;
for I dreaded being seen by him again in a public walk with a party
of which I was ashamed.

Happily I succeeded in my design, and saw no more of him; for a sudden
and violent shower of rain made us all hasten out of the gardens. We
ran till we came to a small green-shop, where we begged shelter. Here
we found ourselves in company with two footmen, whom the rain had
driven into the shop. Their livery I thought I had before seen; and,
upon looking from the window, I perceived the same upon a coachman
belonging to a carriage, which I immediately recollected to be Lord
Orville's.

Fearing to be know, I whispered Miss Branghton not to speak my
name. Had I considered but a moment, I should have been sensible of the
inutility of such a caution, since not one of the party call me by any
other appellation than that of Cousin or of Miss; but I am perpetually
involved in some distress or dilemma from my own heedlessness.

This request excited very strongly her curiosity: and she attacked
me with such eagerness and bluntness of enquiry, that I could not
avoid telling her the reason of my making it, and, consequently,
that I was known to Lord Orville: an acknowledgment which proved
the most unfortunate in the world; for she would not rest till she
had drawn from me the circumstances attending my first making the
acquaintance. Then, calling to her sister, she said, "Lord, Polly,
only think! Miss has danced with a Lord!"

"Well," cried Polly, "that's a thing I should never have thought
of! And pray, Miss, what did he say to you?"

This question was much sooner asked than answered; and they both became
so very inquisitive and earnest, that they soon drew the attention of
Madame Duval and the rest of the party; to whom, in a very short time,
they repeated all they had gathered from me.

"Goodness, then," cried young Branghton, "if I was Miss, if I would
not make free with his Lordship's coach, to take me to town."

"Why, ay," said the father, "there would be some sense in that; that
would be making some use of a Lord's acquaintance, for it would save
us coach-hire."

"Lord, Miss," cried Polly, "I wish you would; for I should like of
all things to ride in a coronet-coach."

"I promise you," said Madame Duval, "I'm glad you've thought of it,
for I don't see no objection;-so let's have the coachman called."

"Not for the world," cried I, very much alarmed: "indeed it is
utterly impossible."

"Why so?" demanded Mr. Branghton: "pray, where's the good of your
knowing a Lord, if your never the better for him?"

"Ma foi, child," said Madame Duval, "you don't know no more of the
world that if you was a baby. Pray, Sir, (to one of the footmen)
tell that coachman to draw up, for I wants to speak to him."

The man stared, but did not move. "Pray, pray, Madame," said I,
"pray, Mr. Branghton, have the goodness to give up this plan; I
know but very little of his Lordship, and cannot, upon any account,
take so great a liberty."

"Don't say nothing about it," said Madam Duval, "for I shall have
it my own way: so, if you won't call the coachman, Sir, I'll promise
you I'll call him myself."

The footman, very impertinently, laughed and turned upon his
heel. Madame Duval, extremely irritated, ran out in the rain, and
beckoned the coachman, who instantly obeyed her summons. Shocked
beyond all expression, I flew after her, and entreated her, with
the utmost earnestness, to let us return in a hackney coach:-but,
oh!-she is impenetrable to persuasion! She told the man she wanted him
to carry her directly to town, and that she would answer for him to
Lord Orville. The man, with a sneer, thanked her, but said he should
answer for himself; and was driving off; when another footman came
up to him, with information that his Lord was gone into Kensington
Palace, and would not want him for an hour or two.

"Why, then, friend," said Mr. Branghton (for we were followed by all
the party), "where will be the great harm of your taking us to town?"

"Besides," said the son, "I'll promise you a pot of beer for my
own share."

These speeches had no other answer from the coachman than a loud
laugh, which was echoed by the insolent footmen. I rejoiced at their
resistance; though I was certain that, if their Lord had witnessed
their impertinence, they would have been instantly dismissed his
service.

"Pardi," cried Madame Duval, "if I don't think all the footmen are
the most impudentest fellows in the kingdom! But I'll promise you
I'll have your master told of your airs; so you'll get no good by 'em."

"Why, pray," said the coachman, rather alarmed, "did my Lord give
you leave to use the coach?"

"It's no matter for that," answered she; "I'm sure if he's a gentleman,
he'd let us have it sooner than we should be wet to the skin; but
I'll promise you he shall know how saucy you've been, for this young
lady knows him very well."

"Ay, that she does," said Miss Polly; "and she's danced with him too."

Oh, how I repented my foolish mismanagement! The men bit their lips,
and looked at one another in some confusion. This was perceived by
our party; who, taking advantage of it, protested they would write
Lord Orville word of their ill behaviour without delay. This quite
startled them; and one of the footmen offered to run to the palace,
and ask his Lord's permission for our having the carriage.

This proposal really made me tremble, and the Branghtons all hung back
upon it; but Madame Duval is never to be dissuaded from a scheme she
has once formed. "Do so," cried she; "and give this child's compliments
to your master; and tell him, as we ha'n't no coach here, we should
be glad to go just as far as Holborn in his."

"No, no, no!" cried I; "don't go,-I know nothing of his Lordship,-I
send no message,-I have nothing to say to him!"

The men, very much perplexed, could with difficulty restrain themselves
from resuming their impertinent mirth. Madame Duval scolded me vary
angrily, and then desired them to go directly. "Pray, then," said
the coachman, "what name is to be given to my Lord?"

"Anville," answered Madame Duval; "tell him Miss Anville wants the
coach; the young lady he danced with once."

I was really in an agony; but the winds could not have been more deaf
to me, than those to whom I pleaded! and therefore the footman, urged
by the repeated threats of Madame Duval, and perhaps recollecting the
name himself, actually went to the palace with this strange message!

He returned in a few minutes; and, bowing to me with the greatest
respect, said, "My Lord desires his compliments, and his carriage
will be always at Miss Anville's service."

I was so much affected by this politeness, and chagrined at the
whole affair, that I could scarce refrain from tears. Madame Duval,
and the Miss Branghtons eagerly jumped into the coach, and desired me
to follow. I would rather have submitted to the severest punishment;
but all resistance was vain.

During the whole ride I said not a word: however, the rest of the party
were so talkative, that my silence was very immaterial. We stopped at
our lodgings; but, when Madame Duval and I alighted, the Branghtons
asked if they could not be carried on to Snow-Hill? The servants,
now all civility, made no objection. Remonstrances from me would,
I too well knew, be fruitless; and therefore, with a heavy heart,
I retired to my room, and left them to their own direction.

Seldom have I passed a night in greater uneasiness.-So lately to
have cleared myself in the good opinion of Lord Orville,-so soon to
forfeit it!-to give him reason to suppose I presumed to boast of his
acquaintance!-to publish his having danced with me!-to take with him
a liberty I should have blushed to have taken with the most intimate
of my friends!-to treat with such impertinent freedom, one who has
honoured me with such distinguished respect!-Indeed, Sir, I could
have met with no accident that would so cruelly have tormented me!

If such were, then, my feelings, imagine,-for I cannot describe,
what I suffered during the scene I am now going to write.

This morning, while I was alone in the dining-room, young Branghton
called. He entered with a most important air; and, strutting up to me,
said, "Miss, Lord Orville sends his compliments to you."

"Lord Orville!" repeated I, much amazed.

"Yes, Miss, Lord Orville; for I know his Lordship now, as well as
you.-And a very civil gentleman he is, for all he's a Lord."

"For Heaven's sake," cried I, "explain yourself."

"Why, you must know, Miss, after we left you, we met with a little
misfortune; but I don't mind it now, for it's all turned out for the
best: but, just as we were a-going up Snow-Hill, plump we comes against
a cart, with such a jogg it almost pulled the coach-wheel off. However,
that i'n't the worst; for, as I went to open the door in a hurry,
a-thinking the coach would be broke down, as ill-luck would have it,
I never minded that the glass was up, and so I poked my head fairly
through it.-Only see, Miss, how I've cut my forehead!"

A much worse accident to himself would not, I believe, at that moment
have given me any concern for him: however, he proceeded with his
account, for I was too much confounded to interrupt him.

"Goodness, Miss, we were in such a stew, us, and the servants, and all,
as you can't think; for, besides the glass being broke, the coachman
said how the coach wouldn't be safe to go back to Kensington. So we
didn't know what to do; however, the footmen said they'd go and tell
his Lordship what had happened. So then father grew quite uneasy like,
for fear of his Lordship's taking offence, and prejudicing us in our
business; so he said I should go this morning and ask his pardon,
cause of having broke the glass. So then I asked the footmen the
direction, and they told me he lived in Berkeley-square; so this
morning I went,-and I soon found out the house."

"You did!" cried I, quite out of breath with apprehension.

"Yes, Miss, and a very fine house it is.-Did you ever see it?"

"No."

"No!-why, then, Miss, I know more of his Lordship than you do,
for all you knew him first. So, when I came to the door, I was in
a peck of troubles, a-thinking what I should say to him: however,
the servants had no mind I should see him; for they told me he was
busy, but I might leave my message. So I was just a-coming away,
when I bethought myself to say I came from you."

"From me!"

"Yes, Miss, for you know, why should I have such a long walk as that
for nothing? So I says to the porter, says I, tell his Lordship, says
I, one wants to speak to him as comes from one Miss Anville, says I."

"Good God," cried I, "and by what authority did you take such
a liberty?"

"Goodness, Miss don't be in such a hurry, for you'll be as glad as me,
when you hear how well it all turned out. So then they made way for
me, and said his Lordship would see me directly: and there I was led
through such a heap of servants, and so many rooms, that my heart
quite misgave me; for I thought, thinks I, he'll be so proud he'll
hardly let me speak; but he's no more proud than I am, and he was
as civil as if I'd been a lord myself. So then I said, I hoped he
wouldn't take it amiss about the glass, for it was quite an accident;
but he bid me not mention it, for it did not signify. And then he
said he hoped you got safe home, and wasn't frightened so I said yes,
and I gave your duty to him."

"My duty to him!" exclaimed I,-"and who gave you leave?-who desired
you?"

"O, I did it out of my own head, just to make him think I came from
you. But I should have told you before, how the footman said he was
going out of town to-morrow evening, and that his sister was soon to
be married, and that he was a-ordering a heap of things for that; so
it come into my head, as he was so affable, that I'd ask him for his
custom. So I says, says I, my Lord, says I, if your Lordship i'n't
engaged particularly, my father is a silversmith, and he'll be very
proud to serve you, says I; and Miss Anville, as danced with you, is
his cousin, and she's my cousin too, and she'd be very much obligated
to you, I'm sure."

"You'll drive me wild," cried I, starting from my seat, "you have
done me an irreparable injury;-but I will hear no more!"-and then I
ran into my own room.

I was half frantic, I really raved; the good opinion of Lord Orville
seemed now irretrievable lost: a faint hope, which in the morning I
had vainly encouraged, that I might see him again, and explain the
transaction, wholly vanished, now I found he was so soon to leave
town: and I could not but conclude, that, for the rest of my life,
he would regard me as an object of utter contempt.

The very idea was a dagger to my heart!-I could not support it,
and-but I blush to proceed-I fear your disapprobation; yet I should
not be conscious of having merited it, but that the repugnance I
feel to relate to you what I have done, makes me suspect I must have
erred. Will you forgive me, if I won that I first wrote an account of
this transaction to Miss Mirvan?-and that I even thought of concealing
it from you?-Short-lived, however, was the ungrateful idea, and sooner
will I risk the justice of your displeasure, than unworthily betray
your generous confidence.

You are now probably prepared for what follows-which is a letter-a
hasty letter, that, in the height of my agitation, I wrote to Lord
Orville.

"My Lord,

"I am so infinitely ashamed of the application made yesterday
for your Lordship's carriage in my name, and so greatly
shocked at hearing how much it was injured, that I cannot
forbear writing a few lines, to clear myself from the
imputation of an impertinence which I blush to be suspected
of, and to acquaint you, that the request for your carriage
was made against my consent, and the visit with which you were
importuned this morning without my knowledge.

"I am inexpressibly concerned at having been the instrument,
however innocently, of so much trouble to your Lordship; but I
beg you to believe, that the reading these lines is the only
part of it which I have given voluntarily. I am, my Lord,

"Your Lordship's most Humble servant, "EVELINA ANVILLE."

I applied to the maid of the house to get this note conveyed to
Berkley-square; but scarce had I parted with it, before I regretted
having written at all; and I was flying down stairs to recover it,
when the voice of Sir Clement Willoughby stopped me. As Madame Duval
had ordered we should be denied to him, I was obliged to return up
stairs; and after he was gone, my application was too late, as the
maid had given it to a porter.

My time did not pass very serenely while he was gone; however, he
brought me no answer, but that Lord Orville was not at home. Whether or
not he will take the trouble to send any,-or whether he will condescend
to call,-or whether the affair will rest as it is, I know not;-but,
in being ignorant, am most cruelly anxious.