Don Quixote

OF THE COUNSELS WHICH DON QUIXOTE GAVE SANCHO PANZA BEFORE HE SET OUT
TO GOVERN THE ISLAND, TOGETHER WITH OTHER WELL-CONSIDERED MATTERS
The duke and duchess were so well pleased with the successful and droll
result of the adventure of the Distressed One, that they resolved to
carry on the joke, seeing what a fit subject they had to deal with for
making it all pass for reality. So having laid their plans and given
instructions to their servants and vassals how to behave to Sancho in
his government of the promised island, the next day, that following
Clavileño’s flight, the duke told Sancho to prepare and get ready to go
and be governor, for his islanders were already looking out for him as
for the showers of May.

Sancho made him an obeisance, and said, “Ever since I came down from
heaven, and from the top of it beheld the earth, and saw how little it
is, the great desire I had to be a governor has been partly cooled in
me; for what is there grand in being ruler on a grain of mustard seed,
or what dignity or authority in governing half a dozen men about as big
as hazel nuts; for, so far as I could see, there were no more on the
whole earth? If your lordship would be so good as to give me ever so
small a bit of heaven, were it no more than half a league, I’d rather
have it than the best island in the world.”

“Recollect, Sancho,” said the duke, “I cannot give a bit of heaven, no
not so much as the breadth of my nail, to anyone; rewards and favours
of that sort are reserved for God alone. What I can give I give you,
and that is a real, genuine island, compact, well proportioned, and
uncommonly fertile and fruitful, where, if you know how to use your
opportunities, you may, with the help of the world’s riches, gain those
of heaven.”

“Well then,” said Sancho, “let the island come; and I’ll try and be
such a governor, that in spite of scoundrels I’ll go to heaven; and
it’s not from any craving to quit my own humble condition or better
myself, but from the desire I have to try what it tastes like to be a
governor.”

“If you once make trial of it, Sancho,” said the duke, “you’ll eat your
fingers off after the government, so sweet a thing is it to command and
be obeyed. Depend upon it when your master comes to be emperor (as he
will beyond a doubt from the course his affairs are taking), it will be
no easy matter to wrest the dignity from him, and he will be sore and
sorry at heart to have been so long without becoming one.”

“Señor,” said Sancho, “it is my belief it’s a good thing to be in
command, if it’s only over a drove of cattle.”

“May I be buried with you, Sancho,” said the duke, “but you know
everything; I hope you will make as good a governor as your sagacity
promises; and that is all I have to say; and now remember to-morrow is
the day you must set out for the government of the island, and this
evening they will provide you with the proper attire for you to wear,
and all things requisite for your departure.”

“Let them dress me as they like,” said Sancho; “however I’m dressed
I’ll be Sancho Panza.”

“That’s true,” said the duke; “but one’s dress must be suited to the
office or rank one holds; for it would not do for a jurist to dress
like a soldier, or a soldier like a priest. You, Sancho, shall go
partly as a lawyer, partly as a captain, for, in the island I am giving
you, arms are needed as much as letters, and letters as much as arms.”

“Of letters I know but little,” said Sancho, “for I don’t even know the
A B C; but it is enough for me to have the Christus in my memory to be
a good governor. As for arms, I’ll handle those they give me till I
drop, and then, God be my help!”

“With so good a memory,” said the duke, “Sancho cannot go wrong in
anything.”

Here Don Quixote joined them; and learning what passed, and how soon
Sancho was to go to his government, he with the duke’s permission took
him by the hand, and retired to his room with him for the purpose of
giving him advice as to how he was to demean himself in his office. As
soon as they had entered the chamber he closed the door after him, and
almost by force made Sancho sit down beside him, and in a quiet tone
thus addressed him: “I give infinite thanks to heaven, friend Sancho,
that, before I have met with any good luck, fortune has come forward to
meet thee. I who counted upon my good fortune to discharge the
recompense of thy services, find myself still waiting for advancement,
while thou, before the time, and contrary to all reasonable
expectation, seest thyself blessed in the fulfillment of thy desires.
Some will bribe, beg, solicit, rise early, entreat, persist, without
attaining the object of their suit; while another comes, and without
knowing why or wherefore, finds himself invested with the place or
office so many have sued for; and here it is that the common saying,
‘There is good luck as well as bad luck in suits,’ applies. Thou, who,
to my thinking, art beyond all doubt a dullard, without early rising or
night watching or taking any trouble, with the mere breath of
knight-errantry that has breathed upon thee, seest thyself without more
ado governor of an island, as though it were a mere matter of course.
This I say, Sancho, that thou attribute not the favour thou hast
received to thine own merits, but give thanks to heaven that disposes
matters beneficently, and secondly thanks to the great power the
profession of knight-errantry contains in itself. With a heart, then,
inclined to believe what I have said to thee, attend, my son, to thy
Cato here who would counsel thee and be thy polestar and guide to
direct and pilot thee to a safe haven out of this stormy sea wherein
thou art about to ingulf thyself; for offices and great trusts are
nothing else but a mighty gulf of troubles.

“First of all, my son, thou must fear God, for in the fear of him is
wisdom, and being wise thou canst not err in aught.

“Secondly, thou must keep in view what thou art, striving to know
thyself, the most difficult thing to know that the mind can imagine. If
thou knowest thyself, it will follow thou wilt not puff thyself up like
the frog that strove to make himself as large as the ox; if thou dost,
the recollection of having kept pigs in thine own country will serve as
the ugly feet for the wheel of thy folly.”

“That’s the truth,” said Sancho; “but that was when I was a boy;
afterwards when I was something more of a man it was geese I kept, not
pigs. But to my thinking that has nothing to do with it; for all who
are governors don’t come of a kingly stock.”

“True,” said Don Quixote, “and for that reason those who are not of
noble origin should take care that the dignity of the office they hold
be accompanied by a gentle suavity, which wisely managed will save them
from the sneers of malice that no station escapes.

“Glory in thy humble birth, Sancho, and be not ashamed of saying thou
art peasant-born; for when it is seen thou art not ashamed no one will
set himself to put thee to the blush; and pride thyself rather upon
being one of lowly virtue than a lofty sinner. Countless are they who,
born of mean parentage, have risen to the highest dignities, pontifical
and imperial, and of the truth of this I could give thee instances
enough to weary thee.

“Remember, Sancho, if thou make virtue thy aim, and take a pride in
doing virtuous actions, thou wilt have no cause to envy those who have
princely and lordly ones, for blood is an inheritance, but virtue an
acquisition, and virtue has in itself alone a worth that blood does not
possess.

“This being so, if perchance anyone of thy kinsfolk should come to see
thee when thou art in thine island, thou art not to repel or slight
him, but on the contrary to welcome him, entertain him, and make much
of him; for in so doing thou wilt be approved of heaven (which is not
pleased that any should despise what it hath made), and wilt comply
with the laws of well-ordered nature.

“If thou carriest thy wife with thee (and it is not well for those that
administer governments to be long without their wives), teach and
instruct her, and strive to smooth down her natural roughness; for all
that may be gained by a wise governor may be lost and wasted by a
boorish stupid wife.

“If perchance thou art left a widower—a thing which may happen—and in
virtue of thy office seekest a consort of higher degree, choose not one
to serve thee for a hook, or for a fishing-rod, or for the hood of thy
‘won’t have it;’ for verily, I tell thee, for all the judge’s wife
receives, the husband will be held accountable at the general calling
to account; where he will have repay in death fourfold, items that in
life he regarded as naught.

“Never go by arbitrary law, which is so much favoured by ignorant men
who plume themselves on cleverness.

“Let the tears of the poor man find with thee more compassion, but not
more justice, than the pleadings of the rich.

“Strive to lay bare the truth, as well amid the promises and presents
of the rich man, as amid the sobs and entreaties of the poor.

“When equity may and should be brought into play, press not the utmost
rigour of the law against the guilty; for the reputation of the stern
judge stands not higher than that of the compassionate.

“If perchance thou permittest the staff of justice to swerve, let it be
not by the weight of a gift, but by that of mercy.

“If it should happen to thee to give judgment in the cause of one who
is thine enemy, turn thy thoughts away from thy injury and fix them on
the justice of the case.

“Let not thine own passion blind thee in another man’s cause; for the
errors thou wilt thus commit will be most frequently irremediable; or
if not, only to be remedied at the expense of thy good name and even of
thy fortune.

“If any handsome woman come to seek justice of thee, turn away thine
eyes from her tears and thine ears from her lamentations, and consider
deliberately the merits of her demand, if thou wouldst not have thy
reason swept away by her weeping, and thy rectitude by her sighs.

“Abuse not by word him whom thou hast to punish in deed, for the pain
of punishment is enough for the unfortunate without the addition of
thine objurgations.

“Bear in mind that the culprit who comes under thy jurisdiction is but
a miserable man subject to all the propensities of our depraved nature,
and so far as may be in thy power show thyself lenient and forbearing;
for though the attributes of God are all equal, to our eyes that of
mercy is brighter and loftier than that of justice.

“If thou followest these precepts and rules, Sancho, thy days will be
long, thy fame eternal, thy reward abundant, thy felicity unutterable;
thou wilt marry thy children as thou wouldst; they and thy
grandchildren will bear titles; thou wilt live in peace and concord
with all men; and, when life draws to a close, death will come to thee
in calm and ripe old age, and the light and loving hands of thy
great-grandchildren will close thine eyes.

“What I have thus far addressed to thee are instructions for the
adornment of thy mind; listen now to those which tend to that of the
body.”

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