Dark Night of the Soul

This chapter reveals a crucial pattern: genuine progress often feels like regression, especially during major life transitions. When we're truly growing, we lose satisfaction in things that used to work for us, feel anxious about our performance, and find our old coping strategies suddenly ineffective. This isn't failure—it's evolution. The mechanism works like this: real growth requires leaving behind familiar frameworks that no longer serve us. Our brains interpret this loss of familiar pleasure and competence as danger, triggering anxiety and self-doubt. We assume we're doing something wrong when actually we're doing something right. The discomfort comes from being between old patterns and new ones—a necessary but unsettling transition space. This pattern appears everywhere in modern life. The nurse who's outgrown her current role feels restless and worried she's becoming lazy, not recognizing she needs new challenges. The parent whose teenager no longer responds to childhood discipline tactics feels like a failure, not seeing this signals the need for adult relationship skills. The worker who used to find satisfaction in just getting by now feels empty, not realizing they're ready for more meaningful work. The person in recovery who can't pray or meditate the way they used to panics, not understanding their spiritual needs are maturing. When you recognize this pattern, resist the urge to force old solutions or panic about regression. Instead, sit with the discomfort and look for what's trying to emerge. Ask: What am I outgrowing? What new capacity is trying to develop? Get support from others who've navigated similar transitions. Remember that feeling incompetent at the beginning of a new level is normal—you're not broken, you're upgrading. When you can name the pattern of uncomfortable growth, predict its temporary nature, and navigate it with patience rather than panic—that's amplified intelligence.