Summary
Becoming Herself
The Awakening by Kate Chopin
Edna reflects on her recent outburst of breaking her wedding ring and vase, realizing such dramatic gestures were childish. Instead, she begins living more authentically—abandoning social obligations, ignoring household duties, and painting when she feels like it. Her husband Mr. Pontellier is bewildered and angry at her transformation. He compares her unfavorably to Madame Ratignolle, who maintains her music while still being a proper wife and mother. But Edna insists she's not abandoning duties for painting—it's something deeper she can't explain. The narrator reveals the crucial insight: Mr. Pontellier can't see that his wife isn't losing herself but finding herself, shedding the 'fictitious self' she wore like clothing for the world. Edna throws herself into her art, using household members as models, though she's never quite satisfied with her work. She experiences intense mood swings—days of inexplicable happiness where she feels one with nature and seeks solitary places to dream, alternating with days of profound emptiness where life seems meaningless. This chapter captures the messy, non-linear process of self-discovery. Edna is learning to distinguish between who she really is and who she's been expected to be—a painful but necessary process that often looks like breakdown to others but is actually breakthrough.
Coming Up in Chapter 20
As Edna continues her journey of self-discovery, she begins to make more dramatic changes to her living situation, decisions that will further challenge the expectations of her social world.
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An excerpt from the original text.(~500 words)
Edna could not help but think that it was very foolish, very childish, to have stamped upon her wedding ring and smashed the crystal vase upon the tiles. She was visited by no more outbursts, moving her to such futile expedients. She began to do as she liked and to feel as she liked. She completely abandoned her Tuesdays at home, and did not return the visits of those who had called upon her. She made no ineffectual efforts to conduct her household _en bonne ménagère_, going and coming as it suited her fancy, and, so far as she was able, lending herself to any passing caprice. Mr. Pontellier had been a rather courteous husband so long as he met a certain tacit submissiveness in his wife. But her new and unexpected line of conduct completely bewildered him. It shocked him. Then her absolute disregard for her duties as a wife angered him. When Mr. Pontellier became rude, Edna grew insolent. She had resolved never to take another step backward. “It seems to me the utmost folly for a woman at the head of a household, and the mother of children, to spend in an atelier days which would be better employed contriving for the comfort of her family.” “I feel like painting,” answered Edna. “Perhaps I shan’t always feel like it.” “Then in God’s name paint! but don’t let the family go to the devil. There’s Madame Ratignolle; because she keeps up her music, she doesn’t let everything else go to chaos. And she’s more of a musician than you are a painter.” “She isn’t a musician, and I’m not a painter. It isn’t on account of painting that I let things go.” “On account of what, then?” “Oh! I don’t know. Let me alone; you bother me.” It sometimes entered Mr. Pontellier’s mind to wonder if his wife were not growing a little unbalanced mentally. He could see plainly that she was not herself. That is, he could not see that she was becoming herself and daily casting aside that fictitious self which we assume like a garment with which to appear before the world. Her husband let her alone as she requested, and went away to his office. Edna went up to her atelier—a bright room in the top of the house. She was working with great energy and interest, without accomplishing anything, however, which satisfied her even in the smallest degree. For a time she had the whole household enrolled in the service of art. The boys posed for her. They thought it amusing at first, but the occupation soon lost its attractiveness when they discovered that it was not a game arranged especially for their entertainment. The quadroon sat for hours before Edna’s palette, patient as a savage, while the house-maid took charge of the children, and the drawing-room went undusted. But the house-maid, too, served her term as model when Edna perceived that the young woman’s back and shoulders were molded on classic lines,...
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Intelligence Amplifier™ Analysis
The Road of Authentic Rebellion
When someone stops performing an expected role and begins living authentically, others perceive this self-discovery as destructive rebellion because it threatens their comfort with the previous dynamic.
Why This Matters
Connect literature to life
This chapter teaches how to recognize when someone is shedding false identity layers versus actually falling apart.
Practice This Today
This week, notice when your changes get labeled 'selfish' by people who benefited from your old patterns—that's often a sign you're moving toward authenticity.
Now let's explore the literary elements.
Terms to Know
en bonne ménagère
French phrase meaning 'as a good housekeeper' or 'like a proper housewife.' In Edna's time, this meant managing servants, planning meals, receiving visitors, and maintaining social appearances. It was the full-time job expected of upper-class wives.
Modern Usage:
Today we call this 'the mental load' - keeping track of everyone's schedules, managing household tasks, and being the family's social coordinator.
atelier
An artist's studio or workshop. For women in the 1890s, having a dedicated space for creative work was radical - it meant claiming time and space for yourself instead of being available to family 24/7.
Modern Usage:
Like having a home office, craft room, or any space that's yours alone - somewhere you can focus on your own projects without interruption.
Tuesdays at home
A Victorian social custom where wealthy women designated specific days to receive visitors. You had to be home, dressed properly, and ready to entertain whoever dropped by. It was like mandatory networking for housewives.
Modern Usage:
Similar to feeling obligated to attend every work happy hour, neighborhood party, or family gathering even when you'd rather stay home.
tacit submissiveness
Unspoken agreement to go along with what your husband wants without arguing. Women were expected to defer to their husbands' wishes automatically, even if they disagreed privately.
Modern Usage:
Like always being the one who says 'whatever you want to watch' or 'wherever you want to eat' to avoid conflict, even when you have preferences.
fictitious self
The fake version of yourself you present to meet others' expectations. Chopin suggests we wear these false selves like clothing - they feel natural until we try to take them off.
Modern Usage:
Your 'work personality' or how you act around certain family members - the version of yourself that keeps the peace but isn't really you.
caprice
A sudden change of mind or whim. In Edna's era, following your impulses instead of duty was seen as selfish and irresponsible, especially for mothers.
Modern Usage:
Like deciding to take a mental health day, change your hair drastically, or quit a job without having another one lined up.
Characters in This Chapter
Edna Pontellier
Protagonist undergoing transformation
She's done with dramatic gestures and is now quietly but firmly living on her own terms. She paints when she wants, ignores social duties, and refuses to back down when her husband gets angry. She's learning the difference between her real self and the role she's been playing.
Modern Equivalent:
The woman who stops people-pleasing and starts setting boundaries
Mr. Pontellier
Controlling husband
He's bewildered and angry that his formerly compliant wife is now doing what she wants instead of what he expects. He tries to shame her by comparing her to other wives who manage to have interests while still being 'proper.'
Modern Equivalent:
The partner who's fine with your hobbies as long as they don't interfere with what he needs from you
Madame Ratignolle
Foil character (mentioned)
She's held up as the ideal - a woman who has creative interests but never lets them interfere with her duties as wife and mother. She represents the 'acceptable' way for women to have personal interests.
Modern Equivalent:
The mom who has it all together - works out at 5am, meal preps, and never seems overwhelmed
Key Quotes & Analysis
"She had resolved never to take another step backward."
Context: After Edna becomes more assertive in response to her husband's rudeness
This marks a turning point where Edna decides she won't return to her old submissive ways, no matter how uncomfortable it makes others. It's a line in the sand - she's choosing authenticity over peace.
In Today's Words:
She was done going back to being a doormat just to keep everyone else comfortable.
"I feel like painting. Perhaps I shan't always feel like it."
Context: Her response when her husband criticizes her for spending time in her studio
Edna is claiming the right to follow her impulses and interests without having to justify them with long-term plans or practical reasons. She's learning to honor her feelings in the moment.
In Today's Words:
This is what I want to do right now, and I don't need to have a five-year plan about it.
"Mr. Pontellier had been a rather courteous husband so long as he met a certain tacit submissiveness in his wife."
Context: Explaining the dynamic of their marriage before Edna's awakening
This reveals that his 'courtesy' was conditional on her compliance. He was nice as long as she did what he expected without question. It exposes how many 'good' relationships are actually based on unequal power.
In Today's Words:
He was a decent husband as long as she never challenged him or had her own agenda.
"She began to do as she liked and to feel as she liked."
Context: Describing Edna's new approach to life after her dramatic outburst
This simple statement is actually revolutionary - it suggests that doing and feeling what you want is a choice you can make, not something that just happens to you. Edna is actively choosing authenticity.
In Today's Words:
She stopped asking permission to be herself.
Thematic Threads
Identity
In This Chapter
Edna sheds her 'fictitious self' and begins discovering who she actually is beneath social expectations
Development
Evolved from earlier awakening moments to active identity reconstruction
In Your Life:
You might recognize this when you realize you've been performing a version of yourself to keep others comfortable.
Social Expectations
In This Chapter
Mr. Pontellier expects Edna to maintain duties while pursuing art, like Madame Ratignolle does with music
Development
Deepened from general social pressure to specific spousal demands for performance
In Your Life:
You see this when others want you to change just enough to be interesting but not enough to inconvenience them.
Personal Growth
In This Chapter
Edna experiences the messy, non-linear process of self-discovery with mood swings and contradictions
Development
Progressed from initial stirrings to active transformation with all its complications
In Your Life:
You might notice this in your own journey when growth feels chaotic and others question your choices.
Class
In This Chapter
Edna abandons upper-class social obligations and household management expectations
Development
Extended from earlier class consciousness to active rejection of class-based role performance
In Your Life:
You experience this when you stop performing the version of success others expect from your background.
Human Relationships
In This Chapter
The marriage dynamic shifts as Edna's authenticity threatens the established power balance
Development
Evolved from subtle marital tensions to open conflict over identity and expectations
In Your Life:
You see this when your personal growth creates tension with people who preferred the old version of you.
You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.
Discussion Questions
- 1
What specific changes does Edna make in her daily life, and how does her husband react to them?
analysis • surface - 2
Why can't Mr. Pontellier understand what's happening to his wife, even though the narrator explains it clearly to us?
analysis • medium - 3
When have you seen someone get criticized for 'changing' when they were actually just stopping a performance that others had grown comfortable with?
application • medium - 4
How would you handle the guilt and pushback that comes when you stop automatically saying yes to everyone's expectations?
application • deep - 5
What does this chapter reveal about the difference between being selfish and being authentic?
reflection • deep
Critical Thinking Exercise
Map Your Performance vs. Your Authentic Self
Draw two columns on paper. In the left column, list roles or behaviors you perform because others expect them. In the right column, list what you'd actually choose if no one was watching or judging. Look for the biggest gaps between the columns - these are your pressure points where authenticity feels most risky.
Consider:
- •Notice which performances feel most exhausting to maintain
- •Identify who benefits most from your current performances
- •Consider which authentic choices would face the strongest pushback
Journaling Prompt
Write about one small way you could start living more authentically this week, and what resistance you might face from others who prefer your performance.
Coming Up Next...
Chapter 20: The Hunt for Connection
In the next chapter, you'll discover obstacles can intensify our desire for what we seek, and learn some people become social outcasts and how others react to them. These insights reveal timeless patterns that resonate in our own lives and relationships.