Summary
Sue's wedding announcement hits Jude like a physical blow. She's marrying Phillotson in just weeks, signing her letter with her full formal name—a clear signal that everything between them has changed. But then she asks something devastating: will Jude give her away at the wedding? She has no one else, she says, calling him her only 'married relation' nearby. The phrase cuts deep—it reduces their intense connection to a mere technicality. Jude agrees because he loves her, even though it means actively participating in what he sees as her destruction. Sue moves into his building for the required residency period before the wedding. They barely speak, both aware of the emotional minefield they're navigating. On the morning of the ceremony, Sue impulsively suggests they visit the church where she'll be married. Walking arm-in-arm—something she's never done before—they rehearse the very walk she'll take with Phillotson in hours. The moment is both tender and excruciating. When they encounter Phillotson unexpectedly, Sue blurts out their church visit with painful honesty. At the actual ceremony, Jude realizes the full cruelty of what Sue has asked him to do. Is she punishing him for his secret marriage? Testing her own feelings? Or is she simply too naive to understand what she's putting them both through? As Sue leaves with her new husband, she runs back for a forgotten handkerchief—but Jude suspects she really wanted to tell him something she couldn't bring herself to say. The chapter exposes how people can make irreversible decisions based on pride, revenge, or confusion rather than genuine desire.
Coming Up in Chapter 26
As Sue departs with Phillotson, Jude is left wondering what she truly meant to say in that final moment. Did she really forget her handkerchief, or was it an excuse to steal one last private moment with him?
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An excerpt from the original text.(~500 words)
Tidings from Sue a day or two after passed across Jude like a withering blast. Before reading the letter he was led to suspect that its contents were of a somewhat serious kind by catching sight of the signature—which was in her full name, never used in her correspondence with him since her first note: MY DEAR JUDE,—I have something to tell you which perhaps you will not be surprised to hear, though certainly it may strike you as being accelerated (as the railway companies say of their trains). Mr. Phillotson and I are to be married quite soon—in three or four weeks. We had intended, as you know, to wait till I had gone through my course of training and obtained my certificate, so as to assist him, if necessary, in the teaching. But he generously says he does not see any object in waiting, now I am not at the training school. It is so good of him, because the awkwardness of my situation has really come about by my fault in getting expelled. Wish me joy. Remember I say you are to, and you mustn’t refuse!—Your affectionate cousin, SUSANNA FLORENCE MARY BRIDEHEAD. Jude staggered under the news; could eat no breakfast; and kept on drinking tea because his mouth was so dry. Then presently he went back to his work and laughed the usual bitter laugh of a man so confronted. Everything seemed turning to satire. And yet, what could the poor girl do? he asked himself, and felt worse than shedding tears. “O Susanna Florence Mary!” he said as he worked. “You don’t know what marriage means!” Could it be possible that his announcement of his own marriage had pricked her on to this, just as his visit to her when in liquor may have pricked her on to her engagement? To be sure, there seemed to exist these other and sufficient reasons, practical and social, for her decision; but Sue was not a very practical or calculating person; and he was compelled to think that a pique at having his secret sprung upon her had moved her to give way to Phillotson’s probable representations, that the best course to prove how unfounded were the suspicions of the school authorities would be to marry him off-hand, as in fulfilment of an ordinary engagement. Sue had, in fact, been placed in an awkward corner. Poor Sue! He determined to play the Spartan; to make the best of it, and support her; but he could not write the requested good wishes for a day or two. Meanwhile there came another note from his impatient little dear: Jude, will you give me away? I have nobody else who could do it so conveniently as you, being the only married relation I have here on the spot, even if my father were friendly enough to be willing, which he isn’t. I hope you won’t think it a trouble? I have been looking at the marriage service in the prayer-book, and...
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Intelligence Amplifier™ Analysis
The Road of Self-Sabotage Through Others
When we can't make a decision we know is wrong, we manipulate others into helping us do it anyway, spreading the guilt and responsibility.
Why This Matters
Connect literature to life
This chapter teaches you to spot when someone makes you complicit in their bad decisions to avoid taking full responsibility.
Practice This Today
This week, notice when someone asks you to help with something that makes you uncomfortable—if it feels like torture, ask yourself what they're really avoiding.
Now let's explore the literary elements.
Terms to Know
Giving Away the Bride
A wedding tradition where a male relative formally presents the bride to her groom, symbolically transferring responsibility for her from one man to another. In Victorian times, this reflected women's legal status as property who moved from father's to husband's control.
Modern Usage:
We still do this tradition today, though most people see it as ceremonial rather than about ownership - though the symbolism still makes some couples uncomfortable.
Formal Correspondence
Using someone's full legal name in letters was a Victorian way of creating emotional distance or signaling that a relationship had become official rather than personal. Sue switching from casual to formal signals she's putting walls up.
Modern Usage:
Like when someone starts texting you with proper punctuation and your full name instead of nicknames - you know something's changed.
Marriage of Convenience
A marriage entered for practical reasons rather than love - financial security, social status, or solving a problem. Victorian women had few options for independence, making such marriages common survival strategies.
Modern Usage:
Still happens today when people marry for citizenship, health insurance, or to escape difficult family situations rather than for love.
Banns of Marriage
Public announcements read in church for three consecutive weeks before a wedding, allowing anyone to object if they knew of legal impediments. Required residency in the parish was part of this process.
Modern Usage:
Like posting your relationship status on social media - it makes private decisions public and gives others a chance to weigh in.
Emotional Manipulation
Using someone's feelings against them to get what you want, often without fully understanding the harm you're causing. Sue asks Jude to participate in what hurts him most, possibly without realizing the cruelty.
Modern Usage:
Like asking your ex to help you move in with your new partner - technically reasonable but emotionally brutal.
Self-Sabotage
Making choices that work against your own best interests, often driven by fear, guilt, or confusion. People sometimes choose the 'safe' wrong thing over the risky right thing.
Modern Usage:
Like staying in a job you hate because it's secure, or pushing away someone you love because you're scared of getting hurt.
Characters in This Chapter
Jude
Tragic protagonist
Agrees to give Sue away at her wedding despite the emotional torture it causes him. His willingness to participate in what he sees as her destruction shows both his deep love and his tendency toward self-sacrifice that borders on self-destruction.
Modern Equivalent:
The friend who helps their crush get ready for dates with other people
Sue
Complex love interest
Makes the devastating request for Jude to give her away, then behaves with painful intimacy during their church rehearsal. Her actions suggest she's either testing her feelings, punishing Jude, or genuinely oblivious to the emotional damage she's causing.
Modern Equivalent:
The person who sends mixed signals right up until they commit to someone else
Phillotson
Unwitting rival
The older schoolmaster Sue is marrying, appearing briefly but significantly when he encounters Sue and Jude during their emotional church visit. His presence makes their intimacy feel even more inappropriate and painful.
Modern Equivalent:
The decent but clueless partner who doesn't realize their fiancé has complicated feelings for someone else
Key Quotes & Analysis
"Your affectionate cousin, SUSANNA FLORENCE MARY BRIDEHEAD"
Context: How she signs her wedding announcement letter to Jude
The formal full name creates distance just when she's asking for the most intimate favor possible. It's like putting on armor while asking someone to stab you - or in this case, asking them to stab themselves.
In Today's Words:
She's basically saying 'We're just family now, nothing more' while asking him to do the hardest thing imaginable.
"Everything seemed turning to satire"
Context: Jude's reaction to Sue's wedding announcement
Life has become so absurd and cruel that it feels like a dark joke. When reality becomes more twisted than fiction, people often feel like they're living in a nightmare or a bad comedy.
In Today's Words:
His life had become such a mess it felt like a sick joke the universe was playing on him.
"Will you give me away?"
Context: Her request to Jude in her follow-up letter
The most devastating request possible - asking the man who loves her to formally hand her over to another man. It's either incredible cruelty or incredible naivety, and both possibilities are heartbreaking.
In Today's Words:
Will you help me marry someone else when you're the one I should probably be with?
Thematic Threads
Self-Sabotage
In This Chapter
Sue forces the man she loves to participate in her marriage to someone else, ensuring maximum emotional damage to both
Development
Evolved from Sue's earlier pattern of running from genuine connection
In Your Life:
You might recognize this when you ask others to help you do things you know will hurt you
Manipulation
In This Chapter
Sue uses emotional manipulation—claiming she has no one else—to force Jude into an impossible position
Development
Building on earlier subtle manipulations, now becoming overt emotional coercion
In Your Life:
You see this when people use guilt or obligation to make you participate in their bad decisions
Pride
In This Chapter
Both characters let pride prevent honest communication about their feelings, leading to mutual destruction
Development
Continuing theme of pride blocking authentic connection and decision-making
In Your Life:
Your pride might stop you from admitting a decision is wrong or asking for what you really want
Class
In This Chapter
Sue's formal signature and reference to 'married relation' emphasize social propriety over genuine feeling
Development
Ongoing tension between social expectations and personal desires intensifies
In Your Life:
You might prioritize what looks right socially over what feels right personally
Unspoken Communication
In This Chapter
The arm-in-arm walk and forgotten handkerchief reveal what neither can say directly
Development
Pattern of meaningful gestures replacing honest conversation continues to escalate
In Your Life:
You might find yourself communicating through actions when you can't say what you really mean
You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.
Discussion Questions
- 1
Why does Sue ask Jude to give her away at her wedding, and why does he agree?
analysis • surface - 2
What does Sue accomplish by making Jude participate in her wedding ceremony? How does this protect her psychologically?
analysis • medium - 3
When have you seen someone ask others to help them make a decision they knew was wrong? What happened?
application • medium - 4
How would you respond if someone asked you to participate in something that felt like helping them hurt themselves?
application • deep - 5
What does this chapter reveal about how people handle guilt and responsibility when making difficult decisions?
reflection • deep
Critical Thinking Exercise
Recognize the Manipulation Pattern
Think of a time when someone asked you to help them do something that didn't feel right to you. Write down what they asked, why you think they involved you, and what happened afterward. Then identify the warning signs you could watch for in similar situations.
Consider:
- •Did they have other options, or did they specifically need you involved?
- •How did they react when you agreed or disagreed with their choice?
- •What responsibility did they try to shift to you, and why?
Journaling Prompt
Write about a decision you're currently facing where you might be tempted to involve others to share the responsibility. What would it look like to own the choice completely yourself?
Coming Up Next...
Chapter 26: Ghosts and Unexpected Reunions
As the story unfolds, you'll explore unresolved relationships can ambush us when we're most vulnerable, while uncovering the difference between legal obligations and emotional reality in relationships. These lessons connect the classic to contemporary challenges we all face.