An excerpt from the original text.(complete · 3194 words)
ABRIEL’S RESOLVE—THE VISIT—THE MISTAKE
The only superiority in women that is tolerable to the rival sex is, as
a rule, that of the unconscious kind; but a superiority which
recognizes itself may sometimes please by suggesting possibilities of
capture to the subordinated man.
This well-favoured and comely girl soon made appreciable inroads upon
the emotional constitution of young Farmer Oak.
Love, being an extremely exacting usurer (a sense of exorbitant profit,
spiritually, by an exchange of hearts, being at the bottom of pure
passions, as that of exorbitant profit, bodily or materially, is at the
bottom of those of lower atmosphere), every morning Oak’s feelings were
as sensitive as the money-market in calculations upon his chances. His
dog waited for his meals in a way so like that in which Oak waited for
the girl’s presence, that the farmer was quite struck with the
resemblance, felt it lowering, and would not look at the dog. However,
he continued to watch through the hedge for her regular coming, and
thus his sentiments towards her were deepened without any corresponding
effect being produced upon herself. Oak had nothing finished and ready
to say as yet, and not being able to frame love phrases which end where
they begin; passionate tales—
—Full of sound and fury,
—Signifying nothing—
he said no word at all.
By making inquiries he found that the girl’s name was Bathsheba
Everdene, and that the cow would go dry in about seven days. He dreaded
the eighth day.
At last the eighth day came. The cow had ceased to give milk for that
year, and Bathsheba Everdene came up the hill no more. Gabriel had
reached a pitch of existence he never could have anticipated a short
time before. He liked saying “Bathsheba” as a private enjoyment instead
of whistling; turned over his taste to black hair, though he had sworn
by brown ever since he was a boy, isolated himself till the space he
filled in the public eye was contemptibly small. Love is a possible
strength in an actual weakness. Marriage transforms a distraction into
a support, the power of which should be, and happily often is, in
direct proportion to the degree of imbecility it supplants. Oak began
now to see light in this direction, and said to himself, “I’ll make her
my wife, or upon my soul I shall be good for nothing!”
All this while he was perplexing himself about an errand on which he
might consistently visit the cottage of Bathsheba’s aunt.
He found his opportunity in the death of a ewe, mother of a living
lamb. On a day which had a summer face and a winter constitution—a fine
January morning, when there was just enough blue sky visible to make
cheerfully-disposed people wish for more, and an occasional gleam of
silvery sunshine, Oak put the lamb into a respectable Sunday basket,
and stalked across the fields to the house of Mrs. Hurst, the
aunt—George, the dog walking behind, with a countenance of great
concern at the serious turn pastoral affairs seemed to be taking.
Gabriel had watched the blue wood-smoke curling from the chimney with
strange meditation. At evening he had fancifully traced it down the
chimney to the spot of its origin—seen the hearth and Bathsheba beside
it—beside it in her out-door dress; for the clothes she had worn on the
hill were by association equally with her person included in the
compass of his affection; they seemed at this early time of his love a
necessary ingredient of the sweet mixture called Bathsheba Everdene.
He had made a toilet of a nicely-adjusted kind—of a nature between the
carefully neat and the carelessly ornate—of a degree between
fine-market-day and wet-Sunday selection. He thoroughly cleaned his
silver watch-chain with whiting, put new lacing straps to his boots,
looked to the brass eyelet-holes, went to the inmost heart of the
plantation for a new walking-stick, and trimmed it vigorously on his
way back; took a new handkerchief from the bottom of his clothes-box,
put on the light waistcoat patterned all over with sprigs of an elegant
flower uniting the beauties of both rose and lily without the defects
of either, and used all the hair-oil he possessed upon his usually dry,
sandy, and inextricably curly hair, till he had deepened it to a
splendidly novel colour, between that of guano and Roman cement, making
it stick to his head like mace round a nutmeg, or wet seaweed round a
boulder after the ebb.
Nothing disturbed the stillness of the cottage save the chatter of a
knot of sparrows on the eaves; one might fancy scandal and rumour to be
no less the staple topic of these little coteries on roofs than of
those under them. It seemed that the omen was an unpropitious one, for,
as the rather untoward commencement of Oak’s overtures, just as he
arrived by the garden gate, he saw a cat inside, going into various
arched shapes and fiendish convulsions at the sight of his dog George.
The dog took no notice, for he had arrived at an age at which all
superfluous barking was cynically avoided as a waste of breath—in fact,
he never barked even at the sheep except to order, when it was done
with an absolutely neutral countenance, as a sort of
Commination-service, which, though offensive, had to be gone through
once now and then to frighten the flock for their own good.
A voice came from behind some laurel-bushes into which the cat had run:
“Poor dear! Did a nasty brute of a dog want to kill it;—did he, poor
dear!”
“I beg your pardon,” said Oak to the voice, “but George was walking on
behind me with a temper as mild as milk.”
Almost before he had ceased speaking, Oak was seized with a misgiving
as to whose ear was the recipient of his answer. Nobody appeared, and
he heard the person retreat among the bushes.
Gabriel meditated, and so deeply that he brought small furrows into his
forehead by sheer force of reverie. Where the issue of an interview is
as likely to be a vast change for the worse as for the better, any
initial difference from expectation causes nipping sensations of
failure. Oak went up to the door a little abashed: his mental rehearsal
and the reality had had no common grounds of opening.
Bathsheba’s aunt was indoors. “Will you tell Miss Everdene that
somebody would be glad to speak to her?” said Mr. Oak. (Calling one’s
self merely Somebody, without giving a name, is not to be taken as an
example of the ill-breeding of the rural world: it springs from a
refined modesty, of which townspeople, with their cards and
announcements, have no notion whatever.)
Bathsheba was out. The voice had evidently been hers.
“Will you come in, Mr. Oak?”
“Oh, thank ’ee,” said Gabriel, following her to the fireplace. “I’ve
brought a lamb for Miss Everdene. I thought she might like one to rear;
girls do.”
“She might,” said Mrs. Hurst, musingly; “though she’s only a visitor
here. If you will wait a minute, Bathsheba will be in.”
“Yes, I will wait,” said Gabriel, sitting down. “The lamb isn’t really
the business I came about, Mrs. Hurst. In short, I was going to ask her
if she’d like to be married.”
“And were you indeed?”
“Yes. Because if she would, I should be very glad to marry her. D’ye
know if she’s got any other young man hanging about her at all?”
“Let me think,” said Mrs. Hurst, poking the fire superfluously....
“Yes—bless you, ever so many young men. You see, Farmer Oak, she’s so
good-looking, and an excellent scholar besides—she was going to be a
governess once, you know, only she was too wild. Not that her young men
ever come here—but, Lord, in the nature of women, she must have a
dozen!”
“That’s unfortunate,” said Farmer Oak, contemplating a crack in the
stone floor with sorrow. “I’m only an every-day sort of man, and my
only chance was in being the first comer.... Well, there’s no use in my
waiting, for that was all I came about: so I’ll take myself off
home-along, Mrs. Hurst.”
When Gabriel had gone about two hundred yards along the down, he heard
a “hoi-hoi!” uttered behind him, in a piping note of more treble
quality than that in which the exclamation usually embodies itself when
shouted across a field. He looked round, and saw a girl racing after
him, waving a white handkerchief.
Oak stood still—and the runner drew nearer. It was Bathsheba Everdene.
Gabriel’s colour deepened: hers was already deep, not, as it appeared,
from emotion, but from running.
“Farmer Oak—I—” she said, pausing for want of breath pulling up in
front of him with a slanted face and putting her hand to her side.
“I have just called to see you,” said Gabriel, pending her further
speech.
“Yes—I know that,” she said panting like a robin, her face red and
moist from her exertions, like a peony petal before the sun dries off
the dew. “I didn’t know you had come to ask to have me, or I should
have come in from the garden instantly. I ran after you to say—that my
aunt made a mistake in sending you away from courting me—”
Gabriel expanded. “I’m sorry to have made you run so fast, my dear,” he
said, with a grateful sense of favours to come. “Wait a bit till you’ve
found your breath.”
“—It was quite a mistake—aunt’s telling you I had a young man already,”
Bathsheba went on. “I haven’t a sweetheart at all—and I never had one,
and I thought that, as times go with women, it was such a pity to
send you away thinking that I had several.”
“Really and truly I am glad to hear that!” said Farmer Oak, smiling one
of his long special smiles, and blushing with gladness. He held out his
hand to take hers, which, when she had eased her side by pressing it
there, was prettily extended upon her bosom to still her loud-beating
heart. Directly he seized it she put it behind her, so that it slipped
through his fingers like an eel.
“I have a nice snug little farm,” said Gabriel, with half a degree less
assurance than when he had seized her hand.
“Yes; you have.”
“A man has advanced me money to begin with, but still, it will soon be
paid off, and though I am only an every-day sort of man, I have got on
a little since I was a boy.” Gabriel uttered “a little” in a tone to
show her that it was the complacent form of “a great deal.” He
continued: “When we be married, I am quite sure I can work twice as
hard as I do now.”
He went forward and stretched out his arm again. Bathsheba had
overtaken him at a point beside which stood a low stunted holly bush,
now laden with red berries. Seeing his advance take the form of an
attitude threatening a possible enclosure, if not compression, of her
person, she edged off round the bush.
“Why, Farmer Oak,” she said, over the top, looking at him with rounded
eyes, “I never said I was going to marry you.”
“Well—that is a tale!” said Oak, with dismay. “To run after anybody
like this, and then say you don’t want him!”
“What I meant to tell you was only this,” she said eagerly, and yet
half conscious of the absurdity of the position she had made for
herself—“that nobody has got me yet as a sweetheart, instead of my
having a dozen, as my aunt said; I hate to be thought men’s property
in that way, though possibly I shall be had some day. Why, if I’d
wanted you I shouldn’t have run after you like this; ’twould have been
the forwardest thing! But there was no harm in hurrying to correct a
piece of false news that had been told you.”
“Oh, no—no harm at all.” But there is such a thing as being too
generous in expressing a judgment impulsively, and Oak added with a
more appreciative sense of all the circumstances—“Well, I am not quite
certain it was no harm.”
“Indeed, I hadn’t time to think before starting whether I wanted to
marry or not, for you’d have been gone over the hill.”
“Come,” said Gabriel, freshening again; “think a minute or two. I’ll
wait a while, Miss Everdene. Will you marry me? Do, Bathsheba. I love
you far more than common!”
“I’ll try to think,” she observed, rather more timorously; “if I can
think out of doors; my mind spreads away so.”
“But you can give a guess.”
“Then give me time.” Bathsheba looked thoughtfully into the distance,
away from the direction in which Gabriel stood.
“I can make you happy,” said he to the back of her head, across the
bush. “You shall have a piano in a year or two—farmers’ wives are
getting to have pianos now—and I’ll practise up the flute right well to
play with you in the evenings.”
“Yes; I should like that.”
“And have one of those little ten-pound gigs for market—and nice
flowers, and birds—cocks and hens I mean, because they be useful,”
continued Gabriel, feeling balanced between poetry and practicality.
“I should like it very much.”
“And a frame for cucumbers—like a gentleman and lady.”
“Yes.”
“And when the wedding was over, we’d have it put in the newspaper list
of marriages.”
“Dearly I should like that!”
“And the babies in the births—every man jack of ’em! And at home by the
fire, whenever you look up, there I shall be—and whenever I look up
there will be you.”
“Wait, wait, and don’t be improper!”
Her countenance fell, and she was silent awhile. He regarded the red
berries between them over and over again, to such an extent, that holly
seemed in his after life to be a cypher signifying a proposal of
marriage. Bathsheba decisively turned to him.
“No; ’tis no use,” she said. “I don’t want to marry you.”
“Try.”
“I have tried hard all the time I’ve been thinking; for a marriage
would be very nice in one sense. People would talk about me, and think
I had won my battle, and I should feel triumphant, and all that. But a
husband—”
“Well!”
“Why, he’d always be there, as you say; whenever I looked up, there
he’d be.”
“Of course he would—I, that is.”
“Well, what I mean is that I shouldn’t mind being a bride at a wedding,
if I could be one without having a husband. But since a woman can’t
show off in that way by herself, I shan’t marry—at least yet.”
“That’s a terrible wooden story!”
At this criticism of her statement Bathsheba made an addition to her
dignity by a slight sweep away from him.
“Upon my heart and soul, I don’t know what a maid can say stupider than
that,” said Oak. “But dearest,” he continued in a palliative voice,
“don’t be like it!” Oak sighed a deep honest sigh—none the less so in
that, being like the sigh of a pine plantation, it was rather
noticeable as a disturbance of the atmosphere. “Why won’t you have me?”
he appealed, creeping round the holly to reach her side.
“I cannot,” she said, retreating.
“But why?” he persisted, standing still at last in despair of ever
reaching her, and facing over the bush.
“Because I don’t love you.”
“Yes, but—”
She contracted a yawn to an inoffensive smallness, so that it was
hardly ill-mannered at all. “I don’t love you,” she said.
“But I love you—and, as for myself, I am content to be liked.”
“Oh Mr. Oak—that’s very fine! You’d get to despise me.”
“Never,” said Mr Oak, so earnestly that he seemed to be coming, by the
force of his words, straight through the bush and into her arms. “I
shall do one thing in this life—one thing certain—that is, love you,
and long for you, and keep wanting you till I die.” His voice had a
genuine pathos now, and his large brown hands perceptibly trembled.
“It seems dreadfully wrong not to have you when you feel so much!” she
said with a little distress, and looking hopelessly around for some
means of escape from her moral dilemma. “How I wish I hadn’t run after
you!” However she seemed to have a short cut for getting back to
cheerfulness, and set her face to signify archness. “It wouldn’t do,
Mr. Oak. I want somebody to tame me; I am too independent; and you
would never be able to, I know.”
Oak cast his eyes down the field in a way implying that it was useless
to attempt argument.
“Mr. Oak,” she said, with luminous distinctness and common sense, “you
are better off than I. I have hardly a penny in the world—I am staying
with my aunt for my bare sustenance. I am better educated than you—and
I don’t love you a bit: that’s my side of the case. Now yours: you are
a farmer just beginning; and you ought in common prudence, if you marry
at all (which you should certainly not think of doing at present), to
marry a woman with money, who would stock a larger farm for you than
you have now.”
Gabriel looked at her with a little surprise and much admiration.
“That’s the very thing I had been thinking myself!” he naïvely said.
Farmer Oak had one-and-a-half Christian characteristics too many to
succeed with Bathsheba: his humility, and a superfluous moiety of
honesty. Bathsheba was decidedly disconcerted.
“Well, then, why did you come and disturb me?” she said, almost
angrily, if not quite, an enlarging red spot rising in each cheek.
“I can’t do what I think would be—would be—”
“Right?”
“No: wise.”
“You have made an admission now, Mr. Oak,” she exclaimed, with even
more hauteur, and rocking her head disdainfully. “After that, do you
think I could marry you? Not if I know it.”
He broke in passionately. “But don’t mistake me like that! Because I am
open enough to own what every man in my shoes would have thought of,
you make your colours come up your face, and get crabbed with me. That
about your not being good enough for me is nonsense. You speak like a
lady—all the parish notice it, and your uncle at Weatherbury is, I have
heerd, a large farmer—much larger than ever I shall be. May I call in
the evening, or will you walk along with me o’ Sundays? I don’t want
you to make-up your mind at once, if you’d rather not.”
“No—no—I cannot. Don’t press me any more—don’t. I don’t love you—so
’twould be ridiculous,” she said, with a laugh.
No man likes to see his emotions the sport of a merry-go-round of
skittishness. “Very well,” said Oak, firmly, with the bearing of one
who was going to give his days and nights to Ecclesiastes for ever.
“Then I’ll ask you no more.”
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Let's Analyse the Pattern
The Honesty Trap - When Truth Becomes Self-Sabotage
When brutal self-honesty about limitations becomes a form of self-sabotage that destroys opportunities before they begin.
Why This Matters
Connect literature to life
This chapter teaches how to identify when honesty becomes a weapon against yourself—and when others use self-deprecation to manipulate sympathy.
Practice This Today
This week, notice when you catch yourself leading with limitations or arguing against your own case—in job interviews, asking for favors, or making requests—then practice reframing to lead with strengths instead.
Now let's explore the literary elements.
Key Quotes & Analysis
"Love, being an extremely exacting usurer"
Context: Describing how Gabriel's emotions fluctuate daily based on small signs from Bathsheba
Hardy compares love to a predatory lender who demands huge returns. This sets up how Gabriel will invest everything emotionally and expect too much back too soon.
In Today's Words:
Love makes you keep score and expect way more than you're actually putting in
"I want somebody to tame me; I am too independent, and you would never be able to, I know"
Context: When rejecting Gabriel's proposal and explaining why they're incompatible
Bathsheba reveals her core conflict - she wants to be pursued but not possessed. She's self-aware enough to know Gabriel's gentle nature won't challenge her.
In Today's Words:
I need someone who can handle my attitude, and you're too nice for that
"I have got to that degree of caring for you that I can't help feeling I want to marry somebody"
Context: His awkward way of proposing to Bathsheba
Gabriel's brutal honesty makes his proposal sound like he'd marry anyone available. His lack of romantic language shows he approaches love like a practical arrangement.
In Today's Words:
I like you so much that I just want to marry someone, and you're here
Thematic Threads
Class Consciousness
In This Chapter
Gabriel openly acknowledges the education and class gap between himself and Bathsheba, thinking honesty will help his case
Development
Builds on earlier hints about social differences, now explicitly addressed
In Your Life:
You might downplay your worth when applying for jobs or relationships because you assume others are 'above your league'
Independence vs. Connection
In This Chapter
Bathsheba reveals she wants the excitement of being courted but not the constraint of marriage
Development
Introduced here as a core conflict in her character
In Your Life:
You might want the benefits of commitment without the responsibilities, or fear losing yourself in relationships
Emotional Timing
In This Chapter
Gabriel's practical, honest approach completely misreads what Bathsheba needs to hear in a romantic moment
Development
Introduced here through romantic failure
In Your Life:
You might kill romantic or professional moments by being too practical when emotion is called for
Self-Defeating Honesty
In This Chapter
Gabriel's admission that he should marry someone with money backfires spectacularly
Development
Introduced here as Gabriel's fatal flaw in courtship
In Your Life:
You might talk yourself out of opportunities by being too honest about your perceived shortcomings
Mismatched Expectations
In This Chapter
Gabriel offers practical security while Bathsheba craves romantic excitement and freedom
Development
Introduced here, showing fundamental incompatibility
In Your Life:
You might assume others want the same things you're offering without checking what they actually value
You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.
Discussion Questions
- 1
What specific things does Gabriel say to Bathsheba that push her away, even though he thinks he's being honest and humble?
analysis • surface - 2
Why does Gabriel's honesty about their differences backfire so spectacularly? What does Bathsheba hear that he doesn't intend to communicate?
analysis • medium - 3
Where do you see this pattern today—people sabotaging themselves by leading with their limitations or being brutally honest at the wrong moment?
application • medium - 4
How could Gabriel have presented his proposal differently while still being truthful? What's the difference between helpful honesty and self-sabotaging truth-telling?
application • deep - 5
What does this scene reveal about the gap between what we think makes us attractive (humility, honesty) and what actually draws people to us?
reflection • deep
Critical Thinking Exercise
Rewrite the Proposal
Imagine you're Gabriel's communication coach. Rewrite his marriage proposal to Bathsheba, keeping his core message but changing how he frames it. Focus on leading with possibilities instead of limitations, vision instead of problems. What would he say differently while still being honest?
Consider:
- •How can you acknowledge challenges without making them the main focus?
- •What's the difference between being humble and being self-defeating?
- •How do you present realistic expectations while still inspiring excitement?
Journaling Prompt
Write about a time when your honesty worked against you, or when someone else's brutal truth-telling pushed you away. What could have been said differently to achieve the same goal with better results?
Coming Up Next...
Chapter 5: When Life Hits Rock Bottom
Gabriel's rejection sets him on a path toward heartbreak, but fate has more dramatic turns ahead. A pastoral tragedy will soon reshape everything he thought he knew about his future.




