An excerpt from the original text.(complete · 176 words)
emember that desire demands the attainment of that of which you are
desirous; and aversion demands the avoidance of that to which you are
averse; that he who fails of the object of his desires is disappointed;
and he who incurs the object of his aversion is wretched. If, then, you
shun only those undesirable things which you can control, you will never
incur anything which you shun; but if you shun sickness, or death, or
poverty, you will run the risk of wretchedness. Remove [the habit of]
aversion, then, from all things that are not within our power, and apply
it to things undesirable which are within our power. But for the present,
altogether restrain desire; for if you desire any of the things not
within our own power, you must necessarily be disappointed; and you are
not yet secure of those which are within our power, and so are legitimate
objects of desire. Where it is practically necessary for you to pursue or
avoid anything, do even this with discretion and gentleness and
moderation.
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Let's Analyse the Pattern
Wanting what you can't control and fearing what you can't prevent creates predictable suffering and wastes emotional energy.
Why This Matters
Connect literature to life
This chapter teaches how to allocate mental and emotional energy strategically, like budgeting money—investing where you can see returns.
Practice This Today
This week, notice when you're spending emotional energy on things outside your control, then ask: 'What could I influence instead right now?'
Now let's explore the literary elements.
Key Quotes & Analysis
"Remember that desire demands the attainment of that of which you are desirous"
Context: Opening the lesson on how desire sets us up for disappointment
This reveals the mathematical nature of desire - it creates a debt that reality must pay. When we want something, we're essentially betting our happiness on getting it.
In Today's Words:
When you want something, you're basically saying 'I won't be okay unless I get this.'
"If you shun sickness, or death, or poverty, you will run the risk of wretchedness"
Context: Explaining why fearing uncontrollable things causes suffering
This shows how trying to avoid the unavoidable creates constant anxiety. It's like being afraid of gravity - the fear doesn't protect you, it just makes you miserable.
In Today's Words:
If you spend your energy dreading things you can't prevent, you'll live in constant fear.
"Remove aversion from all things that are not within our power, and apply it to things undesirable which are within our power"
Context: Giving practical instruction on redirecting our fears
This is the core technique - stop fearing what you can't control and start avoiding what you can control. It's about strategic emotional investment.
In Today's Words:
Stop worrying about stuff you can't change and start avoiding the bad choices you can control.
"For the present, altogether restrain desire"
Context: Advising temporary desire-fasting while learning these skills
Like a recovering addict avoiding triggers, Epictetus suggests a period of wanting nothing while you build mental strength. It's emotional detox.
In Today's Words:
For now, just stop wanting things until you learn how to want them smartly.
Thematic Threads
Personal Agency
In This Chapter
Epictetus distinguishes between what we control (our responses, choices, effort) versus what we don't (outcomes, other people, external events)
Development
Builds on Chapter 1's fundamental division by showing how to apply it to desire and fear
In Your Life:
You might waste energy worrying about things completely outside your influence while neglecting areas where your actions could make a real difference.
Emotional Intelligence
In This Chapter
Strategic placement of desires and fears based on actual control rather than wishful thinking
Development
Introduced here as practical application of philosophical principles
In Your Life:
You might find yourself constantly disappointed because you're wanting the wrong things from the wrong sources.
Class Consciousness
In This Chapter
Working people often desire job security and fear economic instability—both largely outside individual control
Development
Introduced here through practical examples of misdirected emotional energy
In Your Life:
You might exhaust yourself trying to control workplace politics instead of focusing on your own skill development and professional relationships.
Mental Discipline
In This Chapter
Temporarily restraining desire while building better emotional habits, like avoiding triggers during recovery
Development
Introduced here as training method for developing wisdom
In Your Life:
You might need to step back from certain hopes or fears while you practice focusing on what you actually control.
Practical Wisdom
In This Chapter
Learning where to invest mental and emotional energy for actual returns rather than guaranteed frustration
Development
Introduced here as the goal of philosophical practice
In Your Life:
You might discover that changing your focus from outcomes to process dramatically reduces your stress while improving your effectiveness.
You now have the context. Time to form your own thoughts.
Discussion Questions
- 1
According to Epictetus, what's the difference between wanting something you can control versus wanting something you can't control?
analysis • surface - 2
Why does Epictetus say that desiring things outside our control leads to predictable disappointment rather than random bad luck?
analysis • medium - 3
Think about your current stress or frustration. How much of it comes from wanting to control things that are actually outside your influence?
application • medium - 4
If you followed Epictetus's advice and only focused your desires on what you can actually control, how would your daily priorities change?
application • deep - 5
What does this chapter reveal about why humans naturally struggle with disappointment and anxiety, even in comfortable circumstances?
reflection • deep
Critical Thinking Exercise
Map Your Control Zones
Draw two circles on paper. In the first circle, list everything you're currently worried about or wanting that's outside your control. In the second circle, list what you actually can control in those same situations. Look for patterns in where you're investing your emotional energy versus where you have actual power to create change.
Consider:
- •Be honest about what you truly control versus what you influence or hope to control
- •Notice if you're spending more mental energy on the first circle than the second
- •Consider how redirecting your focus might change your stress levels
Journaling Prompt
Write about a time when you exhausted yourself trying to control something outside your power. What would you do differently now, and what would you focus on instead?
Coming Up Next...
Chapter 3: Preparing for Loss Before It Happens
Next, Epictetus gets uncomfortably practical about loss, teaching us how to love deeply while holding lightly—even when it comes to the people and things we treasure most.
